


Seventh Slip Backward

by Esparia



Category: Naruto
Genre: ...actually, ...and regular omake, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Crack Omake, Gen, I REGRET NOTHING, I regret a lot, Mental Health Issues, Occasional World Building, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Time Loop, Time Travel, You're all going to hate me by the end of this., long story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 04:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3196130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esparia/pseuds/Esparia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you are the only one to remember something, did it still happen? Time travel doesn't always work the first time, it doesn't even always work the second time; Naruto knows this well. Rewriting events, time looping, going back to live through your childhood again (and losing a small part of your sanity along the way) is a small price to pay to avoid the end of the world...if he ever succeeds, that is. Thankfully, he's not as alone in this adventure as he assumes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Don't Want to Live on the Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: I've rewritten a lot for better flow (and grammar) but the plot has not changed. I've added Omake to every chapter, stuff that comes to mind while making the actual chapter. Enjoy.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Character death, mental angst, postwar battlefield gore, and extreme plot butchery due to fan-writer's (Esparia's) abuse of creative power.
> 
> Disclaimer: Legally, this disclaimer holds no value. However, it will be given anyway. This pertains to the entire fic, so listen up. Esparia does not own Naruto in any form (manga/anime/fishcakes/nor is it possible to own a malestrom...shocker, I know). Naruto was made and owned by Masashi Kishimoto, so characters (other than Original Characters) belong solely to the mangaka. Esparia does own this fanfiction, Seventh Slip Backward, so please don't “copy and claim” (AKA: Plagiarize). Though the idea is open and free to twist however one pleases.

**Text Rules:**

“I'm talking,” said Naruto

“ _I'm talking in Naruto's mind,”_ said Kurama

‘ _I'm t_ _hinking to myself,’_ thought Sasuke

“ **I can use telepathy,** _ **”**_ Ino sent with a smile.

_Kakashi is having a flashback._

These are written words on paper, like mission scrolls.

Exceptions to  **rules** when emphasis is  _needed_ (or just really wanted).

**((When E** **sparia** **just** **has** **to comment. It won't happen often, promise.))**

**Original Pro: 12/06/14**

**Update: 07/20/16**

**Omake: 09/01/16**

...

Seventh Slip Backward

Prologue

(I Don't Want to Live on the Moon )

Uchiha Obito: 33 rd Year of the 1 st Timeline, 23 rd Day of the 2 nd Month

Where does a story end? What makes a story finished? Does a story end when the protagonist dies? Even so, is there not also the events that follow the protagonist’s death? If you were to follow the story of a different protagonist, the story would hardly end with the other protagonist’s death. They still have a story being told, their story continues, and yet...If that second protagonist were present at the first protagonist’s death then does it not also mean that they were hinged onto the first’s story; as such, the first protagonist’s story would continue with the second. Are not all stories simply part of one large story, a domino in a long line of dominos?

Then perhaps you end a story when the protagonist has finished what their goal was. Perhaps you finish a story when that domino lays flat...and yet, and yet that domino had triggered another story and another…and another. So can you really say a story ever ends when it just sparks a new beginning?

Obito lowered himself to the  grassy  ground, obsidian eyes looking around the ultimate genjutsu. They had won, Madara and him.  It honestly surprised him that they succeeded.  Sure many died; allies, friends, family, enemies...but it was all to fix the world. At least, that's what he had thought  when it played out .  He had thought, perhaps, that this was what would work in bringing the world peace…he had  _tried so hard_ .

Time was irrelevant  in the genjutsu ; it could have been only a millisecond to an eternity that they've been trapped in the genjutsu. It was the image of perfection. The trees, the river, the people...they were all there. Perfect. However...it wasn't. For perfection to exist there had to be flaws to compare...and there were flaws. People were corrupt with them; it was in humanity's nature. It made them do things that would hurt others and themselves, and cause serious destruction and pain. All the same, these little flaws made them who they were.

Obito could see it now in Rin and Kakashi.

Rin was sitting by him and talking. He loved Rin. Except this Rin wasn't _his_ Rin.

T his Rin lacked his  Rin’s flaws. The flaws and little  quirks that made her  _her_ . Obito realized, even though her mistakes in themselves weren't the best, it w as the mistakes that changed her and made her grow in ways she wouldn't have otherwise.

Kakashi was on his other side, idly commenting on Rin's chatter.

Kakashi. He wasn't aloof, bitter, or really any other usual Kakashi characteristic. Obito figured, perhaps, it was because of the lack of pain in his “past _”_. There was no life-changing experiences for him, so really...he was just a blank slate. He didn't even have his trademark mask or Obito's eye. His two _visible_ gray eyes were alight with empty mirth, joy that seemed so very much alive that Obito wished he could feel as sincerely happy as this fake Kakashi seemed to.

Obito watched them. He watched them for he knew not how long; they were just friends here. Ninja didn't exist in this world, so they were not a team. However, as he watched his teammates, he slowly began to realize how incorrect it all was. His “friends _”_ were not the people he wanted, he wanted his slightly-dysfunctional-drama -filled teammates that he joked with. Teammates who he trusted to guard his back. The teammates who he would go pigeon bombing with (long story). His teammates who he knew were dead. He knew his Rin was long gone; though, he still slightly blamed the white-haired idiot beside him. Yet when he saw Kakashi's face when his mask fell, he knew that the man also blamed himself for Obito’s “death _”._ At the time he figured it wouldn't matter, as they would all end up in the perfect world where there were no shinobi, no wars, and his _family_ would be alive.

When Kakashi found where he and Rin were sitting; Obito was startled to see the man looking so pleased to be with them and the notable lack of ninja gear. It was then he began noticing how this perfect world was indeed anything but.

The birds were all the same, without any distinction other than gender. The water was the perfect moderate temperature without any  exception . Then there were the rustle of trees without anything to disturb them. It was always midday. He felt stifled; he felt stuck. 

It was all so... _fake_ . 

Fake. Fake. Fake.

It was the beginning of panic that made him realize, with self disgust, that he was half responsible for creating a world that was so organized by the book it lacked the essence of the life he so wanted to preserve. With amounting horror, he realized he had destroyed the world that he loved. That world was corrupt. Yes, very corrupt, but the world he chose over it was  _sick_ .

This sick world was a world of puppets that would dance on strings for their master for as long as their strings remained.

The corrupted world was of decision and growth. Its people would grow and change with each experience they came across and learn to choose who they were to become.

His decisions…didn’t lead to his perfect world.

Obito's hurt heart slowly began to beat again where it once stood petrified. He had thought Madara was supposed to fix this pain. To create a world without pain. Now he felt a pain, an excruciating agony all over that could only come from losing everything and everyone he had ever loved. Perhaps the worst part of it was the thought that he would never escape the hell disguised as a heaven, and he couldn't even go to the afterlife where his slightly-dysfunctional-drama-filled team were. Out of all of them, he felt he alone deserved this self-made hell. It didn't mean that he wanted it.

He wanted the little quirks in his teammates. He wanted to see life's light in Kakashi's eyes. He wanted...the hurts that came with loving others.

He wanted it all  _back._

Suddenly, as if his unspoken plea was heard, the genjutsu lit with blinding light and faded from existence.

Obito blinked, finding himself sprawled across the remains of a battlefield. A figure stood before him, clothed in light that seemed to emanate from them. He was awed by the person's presence; who, while not exhibiting any killer intent, commanded even more respect and power than any other being he's come across. The Being had a gentle yet strong aura that made Obito want to simultaneously flee and embrace them. Obito's choice was taken from him when he found himself unable to move. His body was so horribly disfigured and broken, it was amazing he was even able to remain alive.

The figure moved down and lightly touched Obito's pale sweaty forehead. He could feel something inside him change, his awareness perhap; it felt akin to a fog lifting. It was as if his entire world got brighter- no, clearer. His world was clearer, the space around him more pronounced, and he understood. He understood what was happening around him better than he could understand the actions of an opponent with his sharingan.

He understood he made a grievious mistake. He understood the stark contrast of his reasonings, what he thought was right and what truly was right. He understood his own faults and how the greediness for power in him affected his decisions. He understood, some how, that he had been forgiven.

Obito felt that dark broken part of his spirit mend;  the part that had been stomped on and hurt so many times over, what he had been sure it would never heal .

With that, Obito also understood that this wasn't the end. That against all odds, there was another chance for the world. That there was going to be a new beginning. T hat this would prevent  it all from happening, and all his foolishness would be removed so that he wouldn't hurt the world. That this corrupted world would get another shot. A  shot, he felt, he wouldn't be able to  make happen; for he had already failed so spectacularly he was surely the wrong person for this critical period in time.

This was what this Being was waiting for. A decision whether he would take up this mission or let someone else carry it out.

The Being. He knew the Being. He knew like  a baby knew who its mother was. 

He was certain that it was this Being who created the world.

It was with that that Obito understood that the world this Being made wasn't meant for the corruption, nor was it supposed to be like his puppet world.

It was a world created for unadulterated  _love,_ a nd how strange a thought that was. That this world, which he hated for so long, was made for all the good things. Even though it all was ruined with people's hate and dark desires, it still existed. This Being could have easily erased it, and stopping only because of what? The love for a broken world and a broken people? What love could be strong enough for such a thing?

The Being before him was that Love.

He wasn't capable of such honest love like this Being. He couldn't bring himself to believe he was even able to be a fraction of what the world would need; however, he was the one, the only one, to practically beg for the love of what his home world was made for. Even so, he knew it probably wasn't his place to be some sort of charismatic hero. He was only a half-dead human with an easily swayed spirit. No, he was too easily influenced and had turned jaded from the years of being who he was.

The world needed someone who would reflect how things should have been, someone who wouldn't be consumed by hatred . It needed a steadfast person who wasn’t already worn from what the world had to offer.

He turned his battered head to look at  the boy he had killed.  That boy had such a benevolent spirit, that it thawed the hearts of the cold hearted monsters in men's skin. The corpse's blood matted blond hair waved lightly in the breeze; dirt and grime covered its unmoving face. He would be the right person to stand these trials,  or  at the very least, better than Obito himself. It was meant to happen this way.

Obito's slow and shallow breathing was the only thing that showed he was indeed still alive; since he was so still,  one could almost mistake him for dead . His dimming eyes looked up to the waiting Being; he gave a slight smile and let his eyes roll back to the blond child's corpse. He had already known what his decision was going to be, he was ready for the end of his story.

With a gentle sigh, Obito's eyes closed.

As he left what was once his body, he saw the blond boy's body let out a breath that stirred the ash in his face before it stilled once more. He apparently hadn't killed him before Madara set the genjutsu into motion. The poor kid would be confused at first, Obito thought knowingly, but the kid would do well.

He only looked back once at his body. Scarred, broken, and baring the signs of suffering, it had served him well.

Looking back at the boy  Obito smiled softly  before  he turned and went  to the Otherside.

Ah, so  _this_ was how his perfect world was going to be created.

And then the world  slipped backward .

...

Omake

(Rise of Neko-jii)

Uchiha Madara: 94 th Year of the 1 st Timeline, 23 rd Day of the 2 nd Month

Madara crossed his arms, staring angrily at the world around him. Not only did his awesomely awesome plan for Uchiha domination fail. Not only did his genjutsu fall for  _some strange reason_ , but his dream world itself was a nightmare! Hashirama was there along with his menacing younger brother, it totally ruined his family reunion.

Is this what he most desired? Senju friends, living family, and a pet kitten?

Madara scuffed the scorched ground with his heel and would never admit that he pouted. Okay, so  _maybe_ he knew he wanted a kitten. But kittens were cute, cuddly, fluffy, and  _adorable_ . It wasn't  _his_ fault he broke out in hives whenever a cat was around. Besides, he just  _knew_ that that Senju snow-cone would make fun of him if he ever got a cat.

Madara peeked around his shoulder, confirming that everyone was dead. Yup, they were dead. Along with Obito. Pity. Well, what could you do?

So now, technically, _he_ was the last Uchiha. His judgmental family were all gone and his Senju and Uzumaki foes were all dead. Madara grinned in realization. With no enemies to laugh and a body that didn't _get_ allergic reactions, being that he was dead, he could abtain as many cats as he wanted.

Take _that_ Senju scum, Uchiha Madara would get his dream...just not his family...

He would just have to name his kitties after his brothers. Perfect. Problem solved.

So Madara set off to start his cat colony, leaving Zetsu to wonder just what he was going to do now that humanity was extinct and his mother still wasn't brought back. Zetsu mused that his mother probably wouldn't want to be brought back in a cat body; she didn't like cats.

 


	2. Slipping Down the Staircase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: Rewrote the entirety of this one, had a few things written out a year before I published the original...but this sort of took on a life of its own. Also, I was reading Hamlet around the latter half of this, it probably affected my writing style because Shakespeare certainly affects my speech patterns.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Repeated character death, battlefield gore, murdering spree, severe injury and sickness related death, death, dramatic and sorta unrealistic death, death, and oh more death! Pretty much shows how Naruto ended up where he did.

**Original Chp 1: 12/06/14**

**Additional Pieces: 11/18/13-10/03/14**

**Update: 10/06/16**

**Omake: 09/12/16**

...

Chapter One

(Slipping Down the Staircase)

_Uzumaki Naruto: 19_ _th_ _Year of the 1_ _st_ _Timeline, 23_ _rd_ _Day of the 2_ _nd_ _Month_

_The Fourth Shinobi War had dragged on for a long time. The days of battle had turned to weeks. The weeks had turned to months. The months had turned to years, years of constant war._

_Everyone was effected by this drawn out two, nearly three, year war. Lands had been upturned, villages torn to the ground, and countless mass graves filled._

_Naruto found himself the Hokage of what was left of Konohagakure and pseudo leader of the forces against Madara and his legions of White Zetsu. While they had thankfully managed to destroy the white things, they found that Madara was somebody they couldn't kill. His underling with the strange mask was equally indestrucrable. Desperate to end the destruction, Naruto took the best ninja remaining and saught the duo out._

_Thus how Naruto found himself with his remaining teammates and comrades facing off against the man._

“ _Truely pitiful,”_ _drawled_ _Madara, “that you should think you can withstand the might of a legend.”_

_The_ _small group of injured shinobi_ _gathered into a circular formation_ _; four facing inward as the rest faced outward. It was a defense formation created in the way so that if an enemy were to teleport in the middle of the circle, they’d be taken down before they could stab them all in the back. A great tactic for fighting White Zetsu, not so great when fighting an undead Uchiha._

_Madara watched on_ _, “you really are a pathetic lot.”_

_T_ _here was a blinding flash_ _as a flaming flower bloomed in the center of their circle_ _, throwing_ _their collective_ _bodies outward. Some never_ _rose_ _again, while others were cut down mercilessly in the wake of the blast._

_Naruto stumbled to his_ _feet and turned in time to see Kakashi_ _cut down_ _._ _Kakashi fell with a muted thump, still alive despite the grievous wound through his abdomen._

_Madara didn't spare a glance towards the Copy Ninja, instead said, “Take care of the rest, I'm starting the genjutsu.”_

_Obito, whom was standing a ways away flickered forwards and began cutting down the remaining ninja._

_Sasuke's_ _single black eye was glazed and half closed upon death_ _, while Sai_ _‘s face was content_ _. Lee didn't survive the blast,_ _his corpse mangled and burned;_ _and neither_ _did_ _five other shinobi, since_ _their whole forms couldn't be seen._

_Kakashi's head lifted up from_ _the reddening ground,_ _his eyes glossed with pain. “I always thought it_ _was_ _a curse to live on while the ones I love die around me-cough- but maybe I was supposed to make sure it didn't happen again- cough cough -I'm sorry Naruto, I broke my promise.”_

_Naruto remembered the_ _promise_ _his old sensei had_ _made oh so long ago in Wave._ _That he would never let his students die, however it was a lofty promise for their profession. It was never very likely to be fulfilled._

_Kakashi blinked a few times_ _before he slowly closed his eyes, and with all that said and done, left the realm of the physical._

_Obito stood above Kakashi, confliction flashed through his eyes before resolve set in. His shadow clone impaled Naruto from behind, creating him to a gruesom parody of a human dango stick. Naruto slipped off the katana and coughed once, twice, before falling forward into the ashy ground. Naruto twisted around and_ _sent a feeble_ _rasengan_ _to_ _a surprised Obito's stomach. Before he knew it, his mind was in a genjutsu. It no doubt would leave his body to bleed dry on the ground. It was the end for Naruto, the end of his story, or so he had thought; Konoha was long ago destroyed and the biju were already prisoners. These were the last things he was aware of before all he knew was a genjutsu, but it suddenly cleared as if it never was. Naruto could feel himself again, he was outside of the genjutsu now, and could tell from the pain wracking his body it would be a short amount of time before he died._

_Naruto was dead, but at the same time he wasn't; it was like he was holding on and just waiting. He wasn't decisively dead yet, apparently, because he felt himself suddenly pulled back into his body. This time, however, he was in a warm dark place. Naruto felt safe with the steady_ _thumps_ _of a...heartbeat? He wasn't reincarnated, he was pretty sure one wasn't supposed to remember their past self if that was how it worked. However Naruto could feel or sense a greater being watching over him. A being that wasn't of the world. Naruto could tell He had sent him with a purpose. But as he lay in, what he could assume to be, his mother...he wondered if perhaps none of what happened actually happened and was merely given knowledge with future events to prepare him._

_Lived Time: 19 years, four monthes, and thirteen days_

_..._

_Uzumaki Naruto: 23_ _rd_ _Year of the 2_ _nd_ _Timeline, 12_ _th_ _Day of the 3_ _rd_ _Month_

_Naruto shivered, he felt cold and stiff. He had been feeling under the weather for a few days now and had been convinced to take a sick day so he wouldn't get worse. His dear wife, Hinata, was taking care of him. Wrapping him in warm blankets and making him porridge and her miracle medical tea. When he reached for the cup of warm tea she had made him, his balance escaped him and he fell to the ground._

_He could make out the cry of surprise from his wife as his body stiffened and relaxed. He found it extremely difficult to move his numbing limbs._

“ _Hi...n-ta,” Naruto wheezed, straining to keep his eyes open._

_Hinata awkwardly bent over him, her pregnant belly making it difficult, “I'm here, Naruto.”_

_He could only groan, unable to move his tongue._

“ _Can you move?” Hinata worriedly asked._

_He tried moving but remained unsuccessful._

_He could make out his wife rushing to the phone and speaking before his lost consciousness._

_When he woke, he was met with the masked faces of doctors and nurses. They talked frantically as he vacantly watched the lights of the hall as he passed them. The plastic piece over his mouth and nose, his mind noted, was mildly uncomfortable._

_He vaguely recognized a pink haired medic when she came up beside his gurney. The other medics seemed to fill her in._

“ _...unknown paralysis poison...”_

“ _...cardiorespiratory failure...eye dilation...”_

“ _Sasori...”_

“ _Adjust the...”_

_His chest ached._

“ _His heart...defibrillator!”_

_He could feel more pain in his chest before he lost feeling._

“ _...losing him-_

_Naruto could feel himself shift out of his body, a feeling that seemed to be familiar._

“ _One, two, three!”_

_'Huh,' Naruto thought, 'so the time travel was real. Oops?'_

“ _...time of death: 12:23, March 12_ _th_ _.”_

_Lived Time: 42 years, eight months, and thirty days_

_..._

_Uzumaki Naruto: 12_ _th_ _Year of the 3_ _rd_ _Timeline, 4_ _th_ _Day of the 12_ _th_ _Month_

“ _Orochimaru,” Naruto hissed, glaring down at the snake sannin from his branch._

_Orochimaru, still disguised in a grass genin's skin looked up with a peculiar look. “Hmm, you're...interesting. Uzumaki-kun. Clever enough to escape my summons, I see.”_

“ _I wouldn't want to hear that from someone of the likes of you,” Naruto growled, crouched in front of his unmoving teammates._

_Orochimaru clicked his tounge. “And with not an ounce of respect.”_

“ _I have a hard time respecting people who intend to hurt my friends,” Naruto said, eyes narrowing, “especially for something as mundane as immortality.”_

_Orochimaru chuckled, “Immortality? Mundane? Kukuku, you truely are an intersting brat. Mm, if not immortality, what would I gain from hurting two little genin, who as likely as not, do not think of you with the same esteem?”_

“ _Tch.” Naruto grit his teeth. “Who would know with something like you?”_

“ _Something like me,” Orochimaru mused, a smirk making its way on to his face “and tell me, Naruto-kun, what is something like me?”_

“ _A violent, sick, twisted psychopath,” Naruto responded, “a monster! Snake!”_

_Orochimaru's smiled widened,“Name calling? How childish. Though I suppose that is what you are, a child.”_

_Naruto growled._

“ _A child, though no less in my way.” Orochimaru shrugged his lean shoulders, rustling his shirt. “Oh well, I'll simply have to remove you. Hm, but that would be a waste of a perfectly good opertunity, why not test a theory?”_

_With speed that rivaled Shisui's shunshin, Orochimaru barred his teeth and stretched to Naruto's bare neck._

_Naruto, not fast enough to dodge, brought his arm up to block. Consiquantly getting a malformed seal bitten on his forearm. Before Orochimaru could retract, Naruto's arm lit with pain that traveld to his core and then lit with bright visable chakra singeing their clothes and hair respectivly. The swirling mass of chakra centered around the deformed seal before exploding outward in an array of electic fire._

_Lived Time: 54 years, eleven months, and three days_

_..._

_Uzumaki Naruto: 16_ _th_ _Year of the 4_ _th_ _Timeline, 22_ _nd_ _Day of the 11_ _th_ _Month_

“ _Sasuke,” Naruto said, “why aren't you fighting it? You're better than this!”_

_Sasuke smirked and looked around at the ruin he caused. “Hn, I suppose you're right. I could do better.”_

_Naruto's eyes widened in surprised._

“ _For instance.” Sasuke flashed over to Naruto and stabbed him in the chest. “I could do this. So much more efficient, don't you think? I should have killed you first. Save myself the time of putting up with your shadow clones.”_

_Naruto's hand went over the blade protruding from his chest. “S-Sasu-he...Sa-auck!”_

_Naruto's ribs caught against the sword while Sasuke glowered down at him. “Why are you so stubborn? Holding on to life. Always stubbornly insisting; insisting lies.”_

_Sasuke shoved Naruto off his chokoto with his foot, flicked off the blood before stilling and bringing the stained metal near his yellow eyes._

_Naruto glared up from where he fell._

“ _Though,” Sasuke conceded, dropping the sword to his side, “you were right about my brother. Who'd have thought I was hunting the wrong man?”_

_Naruto's eyes widened in surprise, “Obito survived?”_

_Sasuke frowned, “and there you go spouting nonsense again. You really are insane.”_

“ _You're the insane one,” growled Naruto, “trusting that snake of a man.”_

“ _He told me the truth,” Sasuke said, “never said anything about actually trusting him.”_

_Naruto coughed, channeling chakra to what would have been a fatal wound. “Than, why use a cursed seal...that you know will destroy you.”_

_Once black eyes glinted. “Power, Naruto. If anything, it'll strengthen me.”_

“ _What a load of crap.” Naruto grit his teeth, sitting up to stare at the pair of snake eyes. “He's taking over your mind. He's_ hurting _you!”_

_Sasuke tilted his head and then grinned. “Kukuku, really now, Naruto-kun, I wouldn't hurt Sasuke.”_

_Naruto tensed. “Orochimaru.”_

“ _Hm~” Sasuke shrugged. “Or what's left of him.”_

“ _What have you done?” Naruto hissed, trying to stand._

_Sasuke pinned Naruto with a foot. “What I've been trying to do for years, of course.”_

“ _You could have leveled Konoha a decade ago, why would you start now?” Naruto pushed against the foot hold him in place, eyes trained on the grinning face looming over him._

_Gold eyes stared intently, before his grin widened. “Surprising, I took you for being dense, far few have come to that conclusion. Though, first impressions are always deceiving. I will grant you this, I don't care if this village burns or not; it is Sasuke that wants this cesspool to fall. So tell me, what gave my_ apathy _away?”_

“ _What seal maker couldn't flatten a village? What strategist, let alone genius biologist, couldn't use germ warfare? If annihilation was the goal, ninja know where to target without revealing their hand. Salting farms, poisoning water, wrecking the trade route, destroying their income; there are ways to weaken a village until they can't even defend themselves or turn on themselves. Besides,” Naruto shrugged, “you hate death.”_

_Sasuke brought his blade to Naruto's throat, hissing, “you think I will not plunge this piddly metal stick through your esophagus.”_

“ _You would, you could, and with how things turned out I don't know if I would care. You like chaos, you like destroying things, you are a ninja of war so you will hand the deaths to those you will,” Naruto said, “but you hate death more than anything.”_

“ _Kukuku,” Sasuke chuckled darkly, “you are a strange boy. You are close, if I let you live no doubt you'd come to the right conclusion eventually. Pity, you would have been an interesting person to fight, a challenge, give a few years.”_

_Naruto had been losing a large amount of blood and was buying time to heal enough so that he wouldn't pass out if he stood. As the saying went; dead to the world will lead to being dead in it...or whatever Jiraiya said about his sleeping habits._

“ _Nonetheless.” Sasuke slashed the sword vertically along Naruto's middle._

_Naruto writhed, curling up on his side, holding the gapping wound._

_Sasuke stepped over him and crouched down to look into clouding blue eyes. “There is no panic in your eyes. Tell me, Naruto, are you not afraid? Do you not fear that you'll disappear from existence? Do you not fear what will lie in wait, or worse yet, that there is nothing waiting for you? Do you not fear your own death?”_

_Naruto felt the cold seeping into his limbs...again. Looking up at the man residing in Sasuke's mind, understanding. “No...how c-could I be-ee scared...of something...I...already know?”_

_Lived Time: 71 years and fifteen days_

_..._

_Uzumaki Naruto: 17_ _th_ _Year of the 5_ _th_ _Timeline, 10_ _th_ _Day of the 11_ _th_ _Month_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Naruto lay on a hospital bed, listening to the heart monitor and staring at the bleak ceiling. “Well, this is just fantastic. Best vacation ever. I couldn't ask for a better place to spend my last days- hours. No really, I_ love _hospitals; oh, and their food, simply to die for.”_

_Beep. B-Beep. Beep._

_Sai, who lay in the bed beside Naruto, tilted his head. “That was...a joke?”_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“ _Yes, Sai,” Naruto sighed, “it's called sarcasm.”_

_Beep. Beep. B-Beep._

“ _Sarcasm,” Sai echoed, looking out the window beside his bed, “I don't understand that word. You were...lying about what something is, how is lying a joke?”_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Naruto made a face. “It's irony, it's used to mock or show how much I dislike a situation.”_

_B-Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Sai blinked. “So, because you don't approve of our situation, you are making fun of us dying in an uncomfortable hospital with indigestible food.”_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“ _Yes, Sai,” Naruto groaned._

_B-Beep. Beep. B-Beep._

“ _Naruto,” Sai said quietly._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“ _Hm?” Naruto responded, eyes closing._

_Beep. B-Beep. Beep._

“ _I...I feel sicker today,” Sai said, running his fingers over his blanket, “colder, my chest hurts, and my legs feel numb.”_

_Beep. Beep. B-Beep._

“ _I know,” Naruto said quietly, he too could feel it and by the sound of the heart monitors, their hearts weren't exactly getting better. The nurses had been discussing the condition of the root members, there were many root members in the hospital now. Some were expected to survive, however Sai and he weren't expected to live long. This wasn't surprising, they were blatantly disrespectful to Danzo for years. It was amazing they were still alive. Though Naruto was doing his best to remain alive for Sai, who he promised he wouldn't leave alone, he knew that he wasn't going to survive the night._

_B-Beep. Beep. B-Beep._

“ _I'm dying,” Sai stated and was quiet for a while, looking out the window, “...it's pretty. So bright.”_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“ _I wish you could have seen more, this time,” Naruto remarked, “you would have liked the festivals. You once told me that Tanabata was your favorite. Pity you won't see it this time.”_

_B-Beep. Beep. B-beep._

_Sai looked out the window, the fading light casting shadows across the white wash walls. He asked quietly, “Naruto, what is it like? The Otherside of this?”_

_Beep. B-Beep. Beep._

“ _I've never been there,” Naruto said, shifting in his bed._

_Bep. Beep. B-Beep._

_“You've seen it, glimpses, before you come back,” Sai replied._

_B-Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Naruto sighed and looked over to Sai, who was now looking towards him, “It's like... everything you imagine safety to feel like, but more... It's...the most protected, comfiest, warmest place. It is home.”_

_Bleep. B-Beep. B-beep._

“ _Home,” Sai echoed, deep in thought, “I'll see you there, right?”_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“ _Dattebayo,” Naruto confirmed, listening to Sai's stuttering heart monitor, “Sai, I...I promise I will take care of you. When I go back again. I won't let you live like that again.”_

_Bleep. B-Beep. Bleep._

“ _Thank you, Naruto.” Sai smiled genuinely, before his mouth turned down in a grimace. “...this is farewell, then...”_

_Beep. Bleep. Beep._

_Naruto turned worriedly towards his friend. “Farewell?”_

_Bleep. B-Blep. Bleep._

_Sai nodded lightly, “farewell until next time we meet...even if I don't know you, or in the no time of Home.”_

_Beep. Bleep. Beep._

“ _Farewell, Sai, until next time or no time,” Naruto replied._

_Blee-p...Bleeeeeeeeeeeeep..._

_Naruto closed his eyes with a pained sigh and said, “it's considered rude to hover behind the doors of the dead and dying.”_

_Beep. Bee-Beep. Beep._

_The Sandaime was older looking than Naruto could ever recall, having the stress of his position and age factoring in, however it was the lack of recognition and warmth in his eyes that made Naruto's heart monitor skip. He never got to be very close to the old man, coupled with the knowledge that of all his precious people only Sai knew him caused an ache he had thought long since vanished._

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_The two studied each other for a moment before Naruto wondered lightly, “what could have happened to bring the hokage to my deathbed? Questions, perhaps, that you should have asked earlier.”_

_Beep. Beep. B-Beep._

“ _You're not like the other root members,” Hiruzen observed, “did you have no loyalty for Danzo?”_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“ _Loyalty for Danzo, hm.” Naruto closed his eyes. “A pointless question to most. If not to relieve your mind that Minato's legacy is not a traitor, I will tell you truthfully that I have no loyalty to the man. I never cared much for his plans, but sometimes one must stay in a pit to tell other where the ladder is.”_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“ _Your comrades tell me that you instigated a rebellion,” Hiruzen said, walking to the side of Naruto's bed._

_B-Beep. Beeeep. Blee-Beep._

“ _I can't very well leave a festering wound- urk,” Naruto clutched his chest, “tch, well as much as I'd love to regale tales of my pranks on the old coot, it looks like I won't have enough time. Heh, irony at it's finest..._

_Bleep. BeEp. Beeep._

_Hiruzen drew closer and only then did Naruto notice the paper clenched in his hand. Naruto looked up at the older man and sighed, shakily lifting his hand to take the picture. “Ah, I wondered where I lost this. Sai's skill to capture a memory never ceases to amaze me, especially one so old and faded.”_

_b-BeEP. Beep. B-Beep._

_Naruto dropped the sketch and curled up slightly, glazed blue eyes closed. “Be kind to them, they're young and so unused to a way of not killing. The ones I couldn't contact won't show how scared they are, they won't know they were either...until later...when they've healed.”_

_Bleep. Beeep. B-Beep._

_Naruto clutched at the hokage's robes, tilted his head up toward him and smiled. “T-thanks for staying with me, Jiji...it's not fun...to die alone...”_

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep._

_Hiruzen gently held the hand that dropped limply, carefully lifting the picture that he had found himself staring at for the past three years in wonder. “...I'm so sorry, Naruto.”_

_The inking of a grinning Naruto sitting on Hiruzen's lap behind a paper filled desk fell from weathered hands as a grieved old man held a young man who he felt he abandoned._

_Lived Time: 88 years, one month, and fifteen days_

_..._

_Uzumaki Naruto: 6_ _th_ _Year of the 6_ _th_ _Timeline, 15_ _th_ _Day of the 1_ _st_ _Month_

_Naruto sighed as his door clicked shut; turning the locks, and rubbed his sore eyes. After taking his shoes off, he silently padded over to his kitchenette to heat up some water._

_He had just come back from a rather exhausting conversation with his jiji, the sandaime hokage. His previous life times hadn't turned out the best, but after some debating and long nights of thinking, Naruto decided to tell the Hokage._

_Naruto rummaged through his cupboards for his tea tin, thinking over his past mistakes. Being unprepared, overconfident, panicking, talking too much, too much secrecy, and who knows how many things he messed up without even knowing? Though he could sort of excuse his first timeline's self, who could be ready for Uchiha overpowered-how-is-he-still-alive Madara? There was no normal and sane person that was prepared for a world dominating Uchiha._

_He stuck the leaves in his heating water, before pulling out the sugar. Though he wasn't sure what happened in his previous timeline that caused him to end up with the crazy old war-hawk._

_Naruto dumped a fistful of sugar into a waiting cup before pouring his tea, thinking over his conversation with the man. He didn't want to give Hiruzen too much information all at once, the poor guy had enough on his plate (or desk) as it was. So he stuck to the basics and would let him mull over that for a while._

_Naruto sipped at his tea, smirking. Of course, no matter how it is said, time travel is just plain shocking. Hiruzen had freaked out as much as any respectable hokage could, which basically consisted of not breathing and then choking on his pipe. He didn't know how to feel about the Morino-Yamanaka combo styled interrogation afterwards, but in the end everything turned out fine. More would have to be talked about the next day._

_Naruto set his cup down, changed, and headed to bed; it was going to be a long day explaining all the ins and outs of every evil organization he had faced. All the villains, all the problems, and all his own concerns. He had read a fiction story once, about a boy stuck in a never ending time loop. He didn't want to be that guy._

_Before he knew it, he was sleeping peacefully in his bed, worries flitting away as a dreamless sleep overtook him._

_As it was, he didn't notice the dark shadow moving through his window and positioning themselves near his head. He didn't hear the slight 'shing' of sharpened metal sliding out of a holster. And he certainly didn't feel the blade cut through his skull and brain like butter, after which the shadow left the bleeding corpse on a slightly musty smelling mattress._

_'Well,' Naruto thought as he slipped backward, 'that was embarrassing.'_

_He just had to hope that the world didn't continue after he died; after all his 'I became an awesome ninja' talk, he just didn't think getting killed by an assassin while in his pajamas would prove what he said. Maybe he shouldn't have drank that camomile tea..._

_Lived Time: 94 years, four months, and twenty days_

…

Omake

(Okaeri)

Yamanaka Sai: No Time

Sai blinked, awed by the world around him. So _this_ is what Naruto had meant. Home. A place where he was supposed to be. A place where he belonged.

It was so bright and wonderful. It was beautiful beyond anything he could have hoped to dream.

Everyone was smiling and he could too. He could smile like them because he could feel what they were feeling too. This elation. This joy. This peace. He could _feel_ it. And for someone who lived a life like him, it was even more wonderful to feel it than it would have been to a stable life.

Sai took in this new world around him and the people in it; looking at his fallen comrades, the civilians he had yet to meet, his friends, and-

His eyes fell to a young woman with black hair and fair skin.

“Hello,” Sai greeted her with a smile, as she walked up to him.

She smiled widely, pulling him into her arms she said, “Welcome home, otouto.”

Sai hugged her back, tears pricking closed eyes. “I'm home.”

-his _family_.

 


	3. Back to Level Zero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: Combined chapter two and three, cut things, added things, rewrote things, and got a bit lazy near the end; it was no easy task. The second half of this chapter (originally chapter three) is for a dear friend of mine and anyone else that is hurting the same.
> 
> ((So help me, I will get my point across. You. Matter. Your value does not lie in your appearance, it does not lie in your body, it does not lie in how intelligent you are nor does it lie in how you present yourself. You are you and you are of value because you are you and you matter. ))
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Implied Kyūbi induced village destruction, character death, implied political monotony, implied child negligence, implied child trafficking, etc.
> 
> Original Ch 2: 12/14/14
> 
> Original Ch 3: 12/20/14
> 
> Update: 12/6/16
> 
> Omake: 12/16/16

 Chapter Two

(Back to Level Zero)

Uzumaki Naruto: Year of Birth of the 7th Timeline, 10th Day of the 10th Month

Naruto blinked his blurry eyes, if there was one thing he didn't enjoy about being born again it was being reverted to an infant's body with an infant's mind. Difficulty understanding things, blurred sight, erratic emotions, extremely poor motor skills to name a few of his least favorite things.

He noticed, with some distress, that his stomach began gurgling threateningly. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, his least favorite thing was most certainly the lack of control over his bowels.

He shuddered, the pooping his pants, the uncontrolled peeing, the horrible _hours_ of laying in soiled diapers. It was enough to make a self respecting man, state of infant body ignored, go mad.

Thankfully, his mind would “prune” these memories almost completely away. The only thing that could bring the following year back would be an intrusive mindwalk or an unfortunate obsessive dwelling over past situations. He could still vaguely remember being bottled and diapered by Sai's brother, Shin. Oh the trauma of past moments never lived.

Another problem with being young again was the memories themselves. He had huge gaps in his memory when starting out again. His mind was all over the place, noticing anything and everything, no matter their insignificance. The physical part of his mind, for all intents and purposes, was that of an infant. Not really understanding the situation he was in, not really concentrating on much other than basic needs, wants, and discomfort. His memories would only really sort themselves when he was about three. Though he only got the gravity of things around five or six. The memories and experiences would solidify and be fully understood when his body turned about twelve, which meant he'd be getting some serious mental breakdowns later in the future.

At the moment, he didn't even understand that. No, all he really cared about at that moment was the pretty red blob talking to him. Understanding verbalizations was difficult. Pulling up memories was difficult. Understanding that the person talking to him loved him was not difficult.

“Hi, there Naruto,” she whispered to him.

With some trouble he could understand the greeting and his name. Focusing on her face was easier. She wasn't moving much and she had been talking to him for a while.

He couldn't tell her how he felt about her, he couldn't vocalize everything he wanted to tell her, he couldn't do much of anything really. Though let it not be said he didn't try. It was slightly depressing to hear his manly man voice reduced to baby's mewling.

All he could really do was stare up at her, this redheaded safe person whose voice lilted as she sung to him. He couldn't comprehend what was being said. He couldn't understand why she was shaking as she held him. He could only really understand that this person was his mother and that he never wanted to leave her arms. He knew though, however unfortunate, that he couldn't stay with her because that man was going to take him from her again just like he did before. Afterwards, he knew he wouldn't see her again. 

…

Naruto was being held by the blond haired man again, his father. It was strange that the man didn't take him from his mother this time, instead it was his father that removed him from her cooling arms. Sometimes his mother helped his father by holding the biju while he was sealed and other times she died early like this. He didn't know what caused these differences, but either way, she ended up dead and he would be alone. It was a hard truth to acknowledge that he would never have his mother, but Naruto knew he would always love her like she loved him.

His father had equally distracting hair as his red haired mother, bright and yellow. Very eye catching. Though, not nearly as distracting as the chakra the man was emitting. Both his parents had large charka presences, and it was natural that a baby like himself would attune to such noticeable things.

He had once heard that the chakra he was born with, genetically speaking, was a cross between his parents. Not surprising considering that...well, he was technically a mixture of the two.

However, he was surprised to find out that, according to Sakura, being heavily exposed to other people's chakra also influenced it. She had gone on a long explanation about early development, exposer, physical and mental effects, assimilating things, genetic mutations, and load of other things that went way over his head. But what it basically came down to was that his chakra was influenced by the parent genes, Kyūbi chakra, and some ancient chakra that had for whatever reason “harmonized” with his. When he asked what she was getting at, Sakura had shrugged and said, “I wanted to know why you had whiskers.”

This didn't really matter to him. Besides, all his infant mind cared about was how his parent's chakra felt. His mother's was clear and warm and full of life, like a coral reef. His father's was free and safe and swift, like a wind that was playful but could turn deadly within a moment's notice. Neither were deceptive of what they were, they were clearly what they were and could pummel those who messed with them in their own way.

Naruto would later figure that it was this combination that made him seem so “naïve” to his peers. Too honest, some of his teachers had said. Couldn't lie to save his life, others said. Which was...true. He was an awful liar. Like, he was Kakashi's _'sorry I'm late'_ excuse awful.

Though he wasn't bad at tricking. With his parent's creativity and ingenuity, he was a fabulous prankster. Pranking, especially ninja, took some ingenious thinking for making a person ignore the pranks (traps) involved. His creativity also made him an impressive seal master. Though the sitting and learning the basics so you don't blow yourself up part of it was mind numbingly boring.

He did, eventually, learn how to not blow everything up. It only took him...four lives to get around to it. What could he say, he was a busy person! Once he did get around to it, he took to it like the Uzumaki he is. So, as out of it as Naruto was, he at least could understand the sealing his father was doing on his stomach. It helped that he could feel the cold ink being drawn on him. His eye sight wasn't too great, he'd need a couple of months before he could really see.

The ink, which was cold, unfortunately caused his baby mind destress. Which, embarrassingly enough, caused him to cry. It is important to know that Uzumaki will voice their displeasure in anything that they see fit to. It is also important to note that the Uzumaki had powerful lungs, no matter what age they were.

“Hush Naruto,” his father said, not so much as a glance toward the flaming roof sailing overhead. His father always had seemed to be a tunnel vision sort, even if a titanic nine tailed fox stood above them.

Then there was the Kyūbi no kitsune, a beast of legend, about to be sealed in his gut. His chakra was angry and sad and frustrated, like an ember that wanted to become a flame. Naruto thought about this once, how the Kyūbi had lots of chakra, how his mother and father had lots of chakra, and how he was doomed to have the same amount, if not more, chakra than Hoshigaki Kisame by the time he turned eight. How he was equally as doomed to have no balance of mind:body chakra, hence never have control over it. He noticed, though, that while his yang chakra was consistent from one timeline to the next, his yin chakra constantly grew. Which kind of stank for him, more chakra meaning less control and all that. Except now he was finally the closest he had ever been to being balanced between the two energies.

Though he didn't really notice this as a wailing baby, it was something he noticed before he died the last time. All things considered, he wasn't very happy with where he was. Safe people about to die, angry chakra monster looming in the background, he was cold, and he was pretty sure he hadn't gotten a chance to eat. So, being the displeased baby he was, he cried louder.

“Shh, Naruto,” his father said, working on the seal around him before looking towards the angry fox.

_'Make me, old man!'_ Naruto thought angrily, he couldn't bring himself to care that his father needed concentration to do what he was doing. The worst that could happen was that he messed up and they both are blown sky high, causing Konoha to fall to the anger of the Kyūbi What could he say, baby mindsets were very self-absorbed.

He wasn't amused to see his father make a vaguely familiar hand seal and he certainly wasn't pleased to find himself falling asleep against the surprisingly comfortable rock.

…

The next thing Naruto knew, he was waking up to the painful feeling of having an angry biju sealed in his chakra coils. With a very dead father at his side. Not the best way to wake up, but not the worst either.

His stomach growled unhappily, he was still hungry and no one was around to feed him. Without his father to hold him up, it was all too easy for Naruto to tumble off his perch onto the ground littered with sharp debris and pieces of dangerous things. Perfect example of why Naruto disliked being a baby with motor skills that rivaled the drunk.

Naruto landed with a sickly “thunk” and winced when he felt blood spilling from his soft baby face, _'Well...ouch. No one seems to be around, except Kurama...and he's not going to help. Hmm, I guess that means...I'll have to use_ that _jutsu. Cry: Baby's Wail no Jutsu!'_

It wasn't so much a jutsu as it was a demand to fix his problems. If there was some subconscious use of chakra to amplify mentioned demand, well, “megaphone no jutsu” was helpful when hosting a pep-rally for a thousand some clones of yourself.

A chunin quickly found his way to him, an injured chunin at that.

Naruto stopped crying and blinked up at the chunin adoringly. Yes, this person was his favorite. This person saved his soft baby face from the ever evil presence of broken window glass. This person was wonderful, courageous, and brilliant.

The chunin looked from him to the fallen form of the hokage and then back to him. “Minato-sama? You...turned into a baby?”

Well, maybe not _brilliant_...but he wasn't one to complain.

…

Uzumaki Naruto: Year of Birth of the 7th Timeline, 18th Day of the 10th Month

Naruto sat on the Hiruzen's lap, gnawing on the old ninja's fingers, listening to various arguments being made. He didn't much care what boring things they were saying, all he cared about was that they were ruining his nap.

An older part of his mind recognized that what they were discussing was important. That what they would decide would be what he would have to live. Didn't make their jabber any less boring though.

It was a council meeting. It was bound to be boring.

The council system of Konoha was, for lack of better words, complex to a fault. Like most hidden villages, it was governed by the kage. Which seemed simple on the outside, but the powers that played influence around the position were anything but.

The power plays and pecking order was a nightmare to behold. The shinobi answered to the kage, but the kage had to answer to everyone.

On one hand, the hidden villages were an autocracy. They were governed by one man or woman. On the other hand, that one person had to answer and please the people of lower or equal rank else things gets way out of balance and the village grumbles before them.

One example of this was the kage's relationship with their daimyo. The daimyo technically didn't have a say in the way a ninja village was run, however the daimyo could control a large amount of trade and wealth distribution throughout their lands. If a kage's decision displeased a daimyo, their village would run the risk of loosing contact with merchants and, with them, their goods. A ninja village couldn't run very well if there were loosing money to other lands to get weapons, food, and other necessaries. So kage had to schmooze up to their daimyo on occasion.

A more prominent example of what Naruto had to worry about was Konoha's internal workings. There were actually three councils, surprisingly enough. The elder council, the shinobi council, and the civilian council.

The elder council was small, only a few chosen elders acknowledged as good advisors and knowledgeable about laws, traditions, and other truly bland subjects. They typically decided what to tell the others and what to keep secret. Super secret stuff was for the kage only and wouldn't even be hinted at in the councils.

The shinobi council was primarily the clan heads or representatives for individual shinobi or civilian born shinobi. It's original purpose was to smooth things out between clans and to appease said clans so offenses weren't made. It would, in theory, bring to light any grievances or discontent. Happy shinobi were working shinobi, it also made fewer nukenin.

The civilian council was made up by notable civilian families. Merchants, bankers, and the like. It was where they would talk about economical problems, droughts or plagues that could effect things. It's more subtle use was to calm the worries of civilians who thought that they were in danger of being enslaved or endangered, they did make up two thirds of the population. It stood to reason that the large military would protect them while they would supply them. Merchants and goods were a good thing.

This was all theory. Theoretically it would be fine. Everyone had a voice and the kage would be able to solve the problems, which was what a kage was assigned to do. However, reality didn't always work that way. People in power tended to get greedy or power hungry, else things like communism would actually work.

It was a system that could be easily used and influenced if one played their cards right. Danzo being a perfect example of playing the political game for his own benefit.

So not only did Naruto have to listen to three separate councils fight- excuse me, _debate_. He had to bounce from one to the other because one would hear something about what the other one was talking about and disagree and want to put their input in. Eventually Hiruzen-jiji just decided to call a “grand council”, which was everyone from each council in the same room, and got things sorted. It lasted a week.

An entire _week_ of listening to whining adults want more influence over his life and Konoha's in general. Only to conclude that he would become a ninja, a weapon for the village because that's what jinchuriki were good for, and be placed in an orphanage where kids had a tendency to go _missing_.

To top it all off, by the end of the drawn out week of repetitive arguments, all of Konoha learned of his status as a jinchuriki and systematically began fearing and hating his existence.

If there was one word Naruto would use to describe the situation and could utter as a baby, he would have chosen, “troublesome”.

…

Thus Naruto found himself in the tender loving care of the matron of Konoha's Orphanage. Which didn't actually equate to much. The woman was terrified of what he was, terrified of what he could do. So she would more often leave him by himself then be with him more than she had to.

As far as Naruto was concerned, it all turned out quite well. After all, being sent to an orphanage that would kick him out in a few years was a far cry from being tortured and brainwashed in Root. He was honestly happy to go with the frightened and neglectful women instead of Danzo. To show his great appreciation and approval, he lovingly drooled all over her favorite blouse.

…

Uzumaki Naruto: 2nd Year of the 7th Timeline, 11th Day of the 4th Month

The entire first year and the beginning of the second year in the new timeline was mostly spent regaining lost motor skills, such as walking and _exercising_ his vocal cords. Which tended to be what he did the first year of every timeline, as these things were vital to functioning as a regular child. Not that he was a regular child, if he could be called a child at all.

The matron wasn't the one to take care of him, likely it had something to do with how certain children monthly “ran away” and how he had ANBU checking in on him. He was taken care of by a young woman, Emiko. She was a civilian.

Emiko didn't really seem to know what to make of him. On one hand, she treated him like any other child. On the other hand, she was terrified of him and what others thought of her when she “played nice with the monster”.

As much as she didn't like him, she still took care of him; and in the end, that's all that really mattered. He had gotten used to the discomfort of others. How they would avoid eye contact or how they would skirt around him as he walked by. The side glances and stiff postures. It hurt, yes, but one acclimatized.

Emiko wasn't the only one that took care of him, of course, there were a few other caretakers around the vicinity. Though she was usually the one saddled with him. He did prefer her, being she would actually carry him around like she would the other infants. As in, it didn't feel like she was ready to drop him at a moments notice and bolt for the nearest exit.

She got picked on for this, and perhaps for other things he wasn't aware of, by passersby and a few of the nastier workers. That made him angry. The looks they gave her and their condescending words. He was fairly sure that it had been going on before he became involved, though likely not as vicious. Women, he learned, could be terrifying in not only action but in word.

With guys, they'd say some angry words, cause some pain, and fight. Girls...girls circled their targets. Demeaned, mocked with smiles, and purposely spread rumors to ruin reputations. It made Naruto very, very, _very_ glad he was not a female. He had enough problems fighting with pompous bullheaded Uchiha to deal with _that_.

Naruto admittedly couldn't actually process the extent of a lot of the things going on around him. One of the more annoying traits of being converted into a babbling mass of cute and stink, was the lack of planning and forethought. He had _no_ filter. This wouldn't really be a problem until he figured out how to talk again.

He saw something, thought about it, and then he would _say_ it.

So of course, when one of those... _women_ commented that the caretaker that actually took care of him “had an unsightly face”...

He couldn't attack the woman that said it, she was leaving the room when she said it. But he took one look at the young adult's watering eyes and clenched fists before purposely waddling to her knee and looked her in the eye. Purposely and carefully pronouncing with a finality, “pretty.”

Her choked laugh and a watery smile was all she gave him. But as far as first words were concerned, he was pleased that he at least had enough thinking ability to make her smile.

…

Uzumaki Naruto: 2nd of the 7th Timeline, 9th Day of the 9th Month

When Naruto had gotten his legs back to a somewhat stable stance. He could walk without falling and could run, though, stealth was a thing to desire.

“Naruto-me!” screamed one of the orphans.

Hypothetically speaking, someone may or may not have painted on a certain bully's walls with pink and purple glitter glue, and may or may not have raided said bully’s secret stash of candy under his bed.

The older boy totally had it coming though. Naruto was none to pleased to see him hitting that younger boy down the hall. He may have been at a toddler-like understanding, but he knew what bullying looked like regardless of his mental age. He knew better than most.

Grinning, he spun on the ball of the foot and ran strait into a certain carer's room. Diving to the floor and sliding the rest of the way under her bed was slightly more difficult than he would have like, but he would take what he could get.

He listened to the older boy's loud footsteps run by and the matron's voice booming at him to stop running in the halls. A quiet apology before footsteps back across the hall and vows of vengeance were heard.

Naruto hid there for the rest of the day and he was immensely pleased with himself that he remembered to bring food. Let the brat wonder where he was, Naruto was content to hone his level of patience...he totally wasn't scared of a revenge prank. That'd be silly.

Emiko, the owner of the room walked in at about nine, her face drawn and tight. He had seen that face more times than he'd have liked on his wife-...ex-wife-...past life's wife-, whatever, Hinata's face. Hinata had gotten that look when her family really broke her confidence. He hated that.

His mind had conflicted views on Emiko. On one hand, he felt wary of her; he didn't want to make her pain worse. On the other, he recognized her as a hurt young woman and he _needed_ to help.

She was sitting on the bed, making it squeak and sink. Naruto didn't know if he should let her know he was invading her privacy, however unintentionally, or if he should wait for her to fall asleep and sneak out.

As he made up his mind to announce himself, he saw a long thin and bloody strip of cloth fall to the ground. He heard her sniff before her bare arm reached down to grab it.

Bright blue eyes widened at the angry red marks on her forearms. Suddenly, the reason she always wore long sleeves, even in the depths of Land of Fire's renowned heatwaves, became sickeningly apparent.

He had seen it before, the red lines that maliciously whispered 'freedom' and the pale scars that mocked 'weak'. He'd seen them before, where the wounds of self battle could be found. On cloth covered wrists, on limping legs, on wincing torsos. It was not good. It was not “tragically beautiful”. It was spiritual human pain manifesting itself in tears of skin.

Emiko stood and walked to the mirror above her dresser, scowling at herself. Tears welled up in her eyes as she rummaged through her things.

“Ugly, useless girl. Why are you so stupid?” She muttered, “so stupid. Stupid, worthless girl.”

Naruto shimmied his way out from under her bed, shirt getting caught on a nail. He viciously yanked himself free before dusting himself free of dust bunnies. Emiko paid him no mind, fishing out a box that was under her clothes.

He turned to the bed, spying the two browning red stained bandages. A sad frown marred Naruto’s face and his hands hovered over the bandages. He took them gently in his hands and, with a bit of concentration, he channeled his chakra into them. Disintegrating them into ash, before dropping them into a wastebasket.

Turning back to her, Naruto watched her look over her blade with dull eyes. As she adjusted her grip and moved it to her wrist, Naruto touched her knee.

The girl flinched, before looking down at him in surprise.

Naruto looked up at her wet face, contemplating what he could say. His childish voice sadly asked, “What are you doing?”

Quickly hiding her knife, she turned away. “N-nothing.”

“No.” He cut her off, looking at her teary face. “you're sad.”

She wiped her eyes and sunk to her knees, shoulders beginning to shake.

Naruto took her hand, studying the torment written on her skin, “why you sad?”

She was quiet and he gently pet her head, waiting.

Perhaps she needed someone, regardless of who or what they were, perhaps she just wanted to say something even if the recipient didn't understand. Either way, she released a world weary sigh before whispering, “I'm a stupid, worthless, ugly girl who can't seem to get a handle on her life. How pathetic.”

Naruto’s eyebrows pinched. “You not ugly, worthless, nor stupid.”

She laughed dryly, “yes, I am.”

He shook his head firmly, a warm feeling spread around his throat and shoulders, taking her face in his and made her face him. “No. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are kind. You...you are created for a purpose.”

“Created for what purpose?” She asked rhetorically, what good was a useless person like herself?

“I don't know...but the Creator made you with a purpose, for a purpose only you can do. He specifically made you the way you are. You are His creation, His work of art, His masterpiece. He chose you, to be born here and now for things only you can do.

“Because, you are worth more than a hundred and one worlds and a thousand and one stars. You are His unique and beautiful jewel. Maybe you're not smart in inked sums and dusty books, but you are kind and are a special person that has things no other have.

He paused and wiped away her tears, “Isn’t it a wonderful thought, that we crossed paths in this point of time so I could tell you want you must understand. If only you could see how He sees you. Because you are the _most_ precious person to Him, His most beloved daughter. His frightened child that is oh so very important to Him. You aren't worthless, no... You are _priceless_.” Naruto looked her dead in the eye, “Do you know why you are the most beautiful, most precious, most special person to Him?”

“W-why?” She whispered, tears streaming down her face.

He smiled sadly, waiting until he was sure she was _listening,_ “because He _Loves_ you.”

She openly bawled and buried her face in his shirt and he held her as best he could, after her cries turned to sobs and her sobs turned to quiet whimpers, she asked, “how do you know? You spoke beyond your years.”

“It not me,” Naruto stated honestly, the clarity of speech fading, “It the Creator who make the world, you, and me.”

She looked at him apprehensively.

“He sometime tell me what to say, 'cause His Spirit live in here.” Naruto pointed to his heart then to her heart. “He live in here too.”

She chuckled nervously, eyeing his stomach. “I think it's only you, brat.”

Naruto shook his head, blond hair waving wildly. “No. He tell me He live in everyone and everything He ever created, unless they choose not to be with him. That make you, me, and the fox. He live _everywhere_.”

She startled and stared at him. Her mind racing to figure out how the child could’ve possibly found out about _it_.

Naruto leaned in and whispered, “No tell no one 'bout the fox, he no like by people 'cause he did something bad for a really _really_ mean guy.”

She blankly nodded, her thoughts racing about the implications about him knowing of the Kyūbi and his belief in creationism while she was fairly sure nothing had ever been mentioned in the vicinity of the orphanage. Honestly, anything like a religion was snuffed out in favor of loyalty to the village. Religion and shinobi practices didn't exactly agree in most cases, she could think of a few cultish exceptions.

Naruto gave a big yawn and said, “I go to bed now.”

He stood up and walked out the door, before pausing and asked (even though he already knew the answer), “what's your name?”

“Emiko,” she replied.

“Emiko,” Naruto echoed, deep in thought, “that mean Blessed, Beautiful Child...like a jewel. Did you know?”

She shook her head.

“My name is Naruto.” He pointed to himself. “It a fish cake in ramen. It not cool like your name. 'Cause I not a fish cake.”

She chuckled lightly at his opinion.

“Emiko-san…” Naruto trailed off.

“Yes?” Emiko prompted as she stood up to escort him to his room.

“He is sad when Emiko hurts herself,” he said, “I threw away your past ouches, all burned and bye-bye.”

Emiko noticed the lack of bloodied bandages on her bedspread with horror. She had hoped that it would all go over his head, he was young enough that it likely would.

“But He left you a present you threw away,” Naruto said, pointing toward the waste bin.

“Night night, Emiko-san,” he yelled before taking off to bed. He refused to lie about anything he said to her, she truly was a beautiful person. Maybe he couldn't judge outward appearances the best, he’s been told that he had no sense of fashion enough times for him to question his eyesight, but he thought she was beautiful inside and out, and he was rarely to ever wrong when it came to the inside.

Emiko watched the blond haired boy run out her room, before turning her gaze to the waste bin. All she ever threw away were tissues, bandages, wrappers, and scrap paper. She walked up to the trash and looked in. And there, what were once the ashes of her bloodied bandages, was flawless diamond with the kanji “beautiful” etched on it's face.

**((Note: Ashes are essentially carbon flakes, and mostly valueless. Carbon, when compressed, can turn into diamonds one of the strongest substances on earth and extremely sought after. Read into the multilayered metaphor how you will.))**

…

Omake

(Thoughts Best Left Unsaid)

Otsutsuki Kurama: 914 th  Year of the 7  th  Timeline, 5  th  Day of the 12  th  Month

Kurama had only been in his new jinchuriki for a little under two months before he began...noticing. It wasn't very obvious at first, in fact, he was more inclined to ignore the little meat sack and everything around him unless it directly affected himself.

However, he couldn't help but wonder if what ever strange phenomenon it was that was affecting the little human would do more harm than good. It certainly wasn't natural.

_'What if I was actually just some character in some shounen manga and everything I was doing was painstakingly planned and inked out over the course of seventeen, eighteen years, taking years away from the artist and his family while systematically destroying reader expectations.'_

Kurama blinked, bemused, as his infant jailor's thoughts once again sharpened into a tangible sentence. On most occasion, and Kurama knew this through experience, he could only really hear the thoughts of his jailor when they were untrained or not wishing to block their connection to him. Unfortunately, human infants did not have this ability. So _all_ their thoughts would filter to his cage. Even the intelligible demands for _things_ and every dream they had. It kept him awake. Not only that, but it lasted up until their fleshy brains developed enough to control it.

Listening to mind numbing prattle about the colors of things and how hungry they were was something Kurama never wanted to experience more than once. Only going through that once was enough to deter him from getting shoved into a human prison.

But no, this child actually _thought_ on occasion. It was down right unnatural. It perhaps wouldn't have been so disturbing if it weren't for the things thought. Such as: _'I want to chew on the fox's tail, the one that's slightly shorter...'_ , _'Would there be repercussions if I asked Deidara to blow up the moon?'_ , _'Hats are essentially socks for heads...unless they are hard, then they're just bowls on your head...which is a little weirder.'_ , and worst of all... _'Uchiha Madara, what parent looks at their newborn son and thinks, “pacific cod fish”? Then again, I have no room to talk.'_

Things like that plagued his time in the already awful cage. It just never ended. Frankly, he didn't know what could make his container so...strange.

_'Of course, who would actually read a manga series for that long? People have lives.”_

Yeah, Kurama really didn't know what to think about his likely unstable prison.

Besides...how did the meat sack _know_ that one of his tails were shorter than the rest? If Shukaku ever found out he'd be done for!

 

 


	4. A Loss of Childhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: Removed some, added some, stared at this for a week. Honestly, I'm just trying to bounce back from The Deadly Week(s) of Finals. Focusing is about as easy as climbing a cliff with my toes. I'm tired and I'm out of it, but this will get done or my pen name isn't Esparia. *Double checks pen name*
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Child soldiers, and...implied mental angst? *shrugs*
> 
> Original Ch 4: 12/27/14
> 
> Update: 12/16/16
> 
> Omake: 12/19/16

 

Chapter Three

(A Loss of Childhood)

Uzumaki Naruto: 2 nd Year of the 7 th Timeline, 6 th Day of the 7 th Month

Camaraderie was something Naruto had resigned himself to never truly having. This had been a fact since the day he was born.

His lineage, for one, was something he would have had no matter what circumstances surrounded his life. Not many Uzumaki remained, that was a given and sadly accepted fact.

Then there was the fact he was made into a jinchuriki a few hours after he was born, there were (at most) only nine jinchuriki in existence at a time. The problems each faced varied, but ultimately they were all viewed as tools of power. They shared a common _lack_ of freedom and social stigma.

The lack of normal social interaction tended to cause some, well, social problems. He didn't get the full scope of this issue until much later. There were social rules. Things you should or should not do, things that you can only do under certain circumstances, and things that were heavily frowned upon. Most people had their parents as guides to this aspect or, at the very least, a group of friends they could gage what was okay and what wasn't. Of course he wasn't nearly as bad off as Sai, who couldn't compare his emotions to situations he was in.

That was all before this weird time mess up. Now, and he couldn't be completely sure, he figured he was the only person to actually travel back in time. Time travel was not normal. Living your life all over again was not normal. It wasn't supposed to happen...unless you were a fictional character in some fantasy or sci-fi gig.

To put it lightly, these things added up into a big awkward mess that made it difficult to connect with others that haven't experienced the same thing. Hence, no camaraderie and very few close friends who would understand. It was surprising how much social interaction was through shared experience.

Take into account of individual mindsets and generally “clicking” with the right people, and that left Naruto where he was now. That is, he was sitting in a tree people watching.

People watching was...therapeutic, one could say. You didn't have think a whole ton about it, just watch and see what people were up to. Taking guesses or making up stories of what they were doing and why.

Naruto was currently watching the playground and listening to the children's gleeful laughter and idle chatter of parents. It was a relaxed atmosphere, one that Naruto was intimately familiar with watching from the outside.

Naruto's body was two almost three, and having both physically and mentally aged, he could understand his own memories and predicament a lot more clearly then when he was one almost two. He understood things to an extent and even could understand that certain things were still going over his head. Mathematics weren't an affinity for him, higher levels especially, but he knew with a certainty he'd be able to understand multiplication a lot better when he turned a few years older. He also knew that certain traumas would be kicking in full gear as he aged.

Around the time he would turn eight is about when he could remember most of the things from before, and more if prompted. By the time he would be with his genin team again, though, is when the problems would really begin surfacing. Trauma, habits, knowledge slip ups, and other things that could make the hyperaware ninja in the _ninja village_ he called home become suspicious.

Thankfully, at his current age, most things would be written off as a “strong imagination” or “childish boasting”.

Though, kids just thought he was weird and avoided him. He, in turn, avoided them. No need to make more awkward situations then he already had in previous timelines. The memories were bad enough.

Besides, it wasn't like he knew how to play their games to begin with. He learned the games, of course, but he never knew how to interact _as_ a child while playing those games. Sai, as emotionally constipated as he was, later proved to be a very good academy teacher; understanding children's minds better than even his wife. Naturally good with children, it was a little unsettling.

So there he sat, in the shadows of a tree's branches, stalker-watching kids play and adults talk. One might ask why in the world he was even wasting his time by going to a playground if he wasn't even going to do anything.

It was simple, actually. Every weekend a caregiver and a few volunteers (or helpless genin) would bring the orphanage children on outings. It allowed the others to do some deep cleaning and it would allow the kids to get a wider perspective. In essence, he had to go.

Naruto personally thought that it was like some perverse advertisement to get kids adopted. Though, to be fair, the orphanage was practically overflowing with kids. The Kyūbi attack (which really should be renamed “Obito's Psychotic Break”, then again, every problem he had could sort of be named that...), there was an unsurprising boom in orphans. It didn't help that the Third Shinobi War had just finished, there were plenty of orphans from that as well.

On this particular day, it was Emiko and a newly minted genin team with their jounin-sensei. First mission by the looks of it, and didn't that bring back the memories. The sensei's amusement, the genin's disappointment, and of course the dawning horror on their faces.

The little genin didn't know it yet, but the job of babysitting never went away. Sure, most chunin and jounin no longer babysat actually infants; however, let it not be said that plenty of fully grown adults didn't act like spoiled brattish children. It was those kinds of babysitting missions that made you want to be the one killing the client, actual infants were a blessing to have instead.

Of course, it would probably help if their jounin-sensei were to supervise them. Unfortunately, for the genin, jounin had a funny way of disappearing whenever their was a dirtied diaper.

The jounin was actually in a tree not far from Naruto's position, not trying terribly hard to hide but not announcing himself either. If the genin wanted help, they had to ask for it.

Naruto let himself relax into his tree, watching the chaos that was prideful genin unfold. _He_ was in a tree because he had to be. People didn't really like jinchuriki in general, so to avoid stressful encounters, he stayed up in his tree. Like always. Bored. There was only so much you could do at two (almost three). Sure he could access his chakra and walk all over the place, but that was hardly fun.

Konoha had a few playgrounds, surprisingly. One of which was in the middle of the city area. A chain linked fence surrounded that one. The one he was in was more of an old training ground, promoting stealth games and the like. A few favorites were “Police and Thieves” , “Shinobi”, “Oinin vs Nukenin”, and “Assassination in the Castle”.

Naruto probably wouldn't even know what games those kids were playing if he hadn't played with them when he was older. He had taken care of kids in most of his lives, one way or another. Though, his first life stuck with him the most. He had been taking a breather from his ninja duties, unaware that he'd be summoned to find out that a war was just around the corner, when he first played “Oinin vs Nukenin”.

…

“ _Mommy mommy,” yelled a kid, no more then four, “Mika won’t play oinin vs. nukenin with me.”_

“ _Why not?” the mother asked asked, flipping a page in her book._

“ _Mika…Mika not wanna be nukenin,” the child pouted, “only wanna be shinobi and not take turns.”_

“ _Well maybe you should play a different game,” she suggested._

“ _But I want play oinin vs nukenin!” yelled the child. The mother looked frazzled and at a loss for how to defuse the situation._

“ _I’ll play with you,” a blond haired man said, jumping down from my tree. A smile spread wide across his face._

“ _Really?” the kid said excitedly._

“ _Yup,” the man replied, “I’ll be the nukenin first, kay?”_

“ _Yosh!” The kid jumped up and took me by the hand, before running toward the playground._

_The kid pointed to himself and exclaimed, “I’m a fearless shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village! And I’m going to take you down, evil ninja-san!”_

_The tall blond laughed ‘evilly’ and mocked, “I’d like to see you try, Hidden Leaf ninja are all too soft to take down the likes of me.”_

“ _Ha! I’ll prove I’m stronger then you,” he said before running at the taller man._

_He slowly dodged to the side. “You’ll have to try harder then that, chibi.”_

_The kid puffed out his cheeks and ran at him again. “Konoha ninja are the best, and I’m no chibi!”_

“ _Ha-ha-ha, yeah right. Big talk for a little guy,” He said and dodged another attack._

_The boy turned around and smacked the ninja with his tiny fist on his leg. The man ‘yelled’ in pain and limped away from him._

“ _That was just luck, but I won’t underestimate you again, chibi.” the man said with mock-menace._

_The boy grinned and attacked him again, this time nailing him in the stomach. The blond shinobi used a minor amount of chakra to make himself fly backwards. He ‘shakily’ got up, before ‘collapsing’ on his hands and knees._

_The kid ran up to him, worry and shock written across his face. The man winked with a grin before going back to being a ‘defeated nukenin’._

“ _You brat, you may have defeated me this time.” The blond slowly got up. “But I can promise it won’t happen again. Just you watch, I’ll get you back for this disgrace. You’ll be sorry!” He yelled before dramatically disappearing in a cloud of smoke._

_The kid’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. His mother looked surprised by the sudden smoke._

_The shinobi leaped back behind him, without making a sound. He watched the boy's shocked expression for a moment before saying, “that was a fun game.”_

_The boy jumped before looking up at him with a grin. “You a real ninja?”_

_He smiled down at the boy, blond hair falling in his squinted eyes. “Yup, one of the best.”_

“ _Cool,” he said, “will you play with me again?”_

“ _Mm, someday,” He said._

_The child frowned. “Why not now?”_

_The shinobi pointed up. “See that bird up there?”_

_He looked up and nodded. “Yeah, it sure is tiny.”_

_The blond smiled. “Well the bird is telling me to go to Hokage-sama’s office. I have a mission.”_

“ _Ah,” the kid said looking up, “you must be a really, really strong ninja if the Hokage wants you.”_

“ _You better believe it.” The shinobi grinned._

_A look of determination came across his face. “I’m going to be a super strong ninja someday too. Then I will fight real nukenin and get the birds to call for me too. I will beat you Shinobi-san.”_

“ _Call me Naruto,” Naruto said with a wide grin and ruffled the boy's hair, “I’ll be waiting for it.”_

“ _Hai! Then one day,” the kid jabbed a thumb to himself, “I'll be a stronger ninja than you, Naruto!”_

_He met with the kid a few times after that to play. He had been told he had a way with younger children, and that it was odd for a shinobi of such high caliber to play with kids. He treasured it. It made up for his lost childhood, giving a child a better one then they’d have otherwise. The child grew to be a good kid, always proclaiming that he’d one day outdo Uzumaki Naruto._

_Naruto was still waiting…_

…

Naruto sighed lightly, his past was a thing he didn't like too think to heavily on but had to in necessity. There was just so much death and destruction, he would be content to never see another child dead from the evils of adults. Sadly, he knew that it was not to be.

_'They're so calm now, so happy,'_ Naruto thought, a small smile made its way across his face, _‘As they should be.’_

It was so unlike the agitation that dominated them in the past-future. There was so much fear and pain, to the point that the children didn't play and stopped smiling. Naruto vowed to never let it become like that again or he would die trying...again.

Those small ones, with such high hopes for the future, had been his comrades, his friends, his citizens. They had become hardened and frozen over by the deaths and war, bloodied hands and marred spirits. His smile slipped from his face and a world weary sigh escaped his mouth.

He had to think, he had to plan...if he wanted keep the kids from losing that hope.

…

Uchiha Itachi: 8 th Year of the 7 th Timeline, 6 th Day of the 7 th Month

Uchiha Itachi was an average genin; well, he'd like to think he was. However, his prodigy status brought about problems with the term “average”. So, perhaps, he wasn't an average shinobi; but he was an average person.

Average wants, normal likes and dislikes. He'd like to think he was more normal than what others projected on him. Sure, his intelligence was...high. He could pick something up quickly and efficiently. He learned fast. That's what it came down to.

He learned fast, so he understood what was taught quicker than others. Maybe it was because the academy was still transitioning from the war curriculum, maybe it was because he had the capacity of a Nara but the drive of his kin, maybe it was because his father pushed and demanded. Whatever it was, Uchiha Itachi had graduated the academy and was a genin with a team that weren't too fond of him at the young age of eight.

He thought he might know why they didn't like him and while he couldn't blame them, it still hurt. He liked his team. They just didn't like him.

He wasn't good at _normal_ social conduct. He was being raised as an heir and knew a hundred different way to read political powers and what they wanted. He was being raised by Uchiha Mikoto, showing common courtesy even to scary girls. His father was a clan head, a clan that demanded respect and utmost obedience from even their average clansmen.

So maybe he wasn't average in intellect, social standing, and had a slightly skewed view of what was accepted compared to what was expected. Maybe, he wasn't average at all. If he was average, if he was _normal_ , would his teammates have liked him?

It was a nice thought. An unpractical one. It didn't matter, in the end, if the others didn't like him. It only really mattered if they could work together. He himself wasn't of much value and he could accept that fact easily. He sorta...just kinda, a little bit, wished that what he wanted would matter...even the slightest?

Itachi bit the inside of his cheek and frowned at his own thoughts. Such foolish thoughts, this train of thought never led to good things.

“Remember to pack for a week, we don't know how long we'll be in Sora-ku,” Itachi's sensei, Yuki Minazuki, said.

Tenma, the other male genin, muttered, “we _know._ ”

Tenma was completely ignored by the rest of the team and Yuki continued his pre-mission briefing (lecture) about what they would likely see in the mostly abandoned city.

Itachi was familiar with the city Sora-ku having been brought with clan members to be introduced to Nekobaa, a supplies keeper he had been sent on errands to.

With their sensei's dismissal, Itachi and his teammates quickly left their training spot.

Itachi decided that a short cut home and spending as much time as possible with Sasuke before the upcoming mission, would be a necessity. Itachi loved Sasuke, and he knew that his little brother loved him too. He couldn't help but worry, though, with how dependent Sasuke was becoming.

Their father, Fugaku, had never been the closest parental figure; though, Itachi could remember when he was more family oriented. It was only a little after the Kyūbi Attack that he started drifting away. His father had always pushed him hard to be the best shinobi he could be, as it was his duty. The problem seemed to be that while Itachi excelled above and beyond expectations, Sasuke simply excelled. Sasuke was a smart child, advanced by normal standards. But their father, and many others, compared Itachi's genius to Sasuke's abilities. It wasn't fair to Sasuke, and Itachi didn't like that he was _good_ at hurting others.

Their hard to please father, much to Itachi's self blame, overlooked Sasuke and hardly payed attention to him and was always busy. Itachi took it upon himself to fill in for his father's absence, both because he knew it was important for Sasuke to have someone to look up to and rely on and also because Itachi hated seeing how hurt Sasuke looked after their father brushed him off.

Itachi paused on a branch overlooking the forest surrounded playground, an old training ground if he remembered right (which, of course, he did). It was strange to see kids his age, some even older, playing on the jungle gym. It was a reminder that he lived a life far from the average person's, that he grew up faster then most children.

Most kids his age, for he was a kid and he knew it, still worried about school and playing with friends and complained (loudly) about academic work and chores. He thought about his...friend, Shisui, who was more of an older brother than a cousin and about when both their schedules opened up enough to train together. He worried about his clan and his brother's future, about Konoha's future. He read academic books for fun and did chores to decompress from work related stress.

Itachi was also fairly certain that most kids his age didn't know how to take care of their kid siblings, let alone like them. (He once overheard a girl at the academy claim to _hate_ her little brother!) Though it just solidified that his maturity didn't match his peers...and also why it was hard to understand their jokes.

He was advanced for his age, and would continue being advanced if the trend continued. For all he knew, he could be a jounin in five years and have access to the back of the library where they keep all the interesting pre-chakra histories. It could also mean that he'd be a sensei by age thirteen, but hopefully older. The kids down there would be some of Sasuke's comrades, and maybe even a future student of his. _Sasuke_ might even end up being his student. It was a strange thought that he'd rather not dwell on. He could practically hear Shisui's mocking, _'Aniki-sensei.'_

No, that wouldn't do at all.

Nonetheless, it would be interesting too see what this age group was up to. Though he had things to do, kage bunshin to summon (to pack his bags), and a certain little brother to break the news to.

As he was about to continue his way home, he paused once more. Itachi was the type of person who knew a little bit of something about everything and everyone. He was an observer, a listen and learn type. So when he came across a thing he didn't understand, didn't previously know or wasn't expecting, it hooked his attention and reeled his interest in faster than the Yondaime could hiraishin.

A young woman, no older than twenty, had called something to the children playing. She was a worker for the orphanage, if he recognized her uniform.

Indeed, a large portion of the children on the playground rushed over to her. All, he noted, were orphans of Konoha judging by their similar clothes. This wasn’t what made him pause. No, it was the small blond of two years that walked out of the wooded area towards them. The other children shifted to the opposite side of the young woman than where the lone child stood. The genin team followed suit. That sadly wasn’t really surprising; though, it was surprising the jounin of the team (Team Five?) gave to the boy (Naruto) a head pat.

Now Itachi knew who Naruto was, frankly he would have had to have been rather dense to not know by this point. He had known Kushina-nee through his mom, Mikoto; or perhaps it's better said that Kushina was friends with Mikoto and got every excuse to pinch her friend's son's cheeks out of existence. It came to no surprise that his mother was excited, happy, when she found out she and her best friend were pregnant at the same time.

When Itachi was younger, not that he was particularly old now, he had stuck around his mother. Followed her on errands, when she was visiting friends, and helped her around the house. While he followed her, he learned many things from her. Sometimes it was directly, her telling him how to pick out produce that'll ripen right or showing him the best way to fold clothes so they would fit better in a pack. Other times he simply learned by watching and listening to what was happening around her.

Other kids thought grown-up talk was boring, but Itachi thought it was endlessly fascinating what the grown-ups knew and would say around him but not around other grown-ups.

Kushina's pregnancy was one of those things. Not because she was pregnant, any person with an eye and old enough to understand could see that she was, but because her husband was Minato (the fourth hokage).

When Naruto was born and the Kyūbi destroyed a large part of the village, there was a lot of chaos afterward. Clan problems that were still going on, village problems that are slightly better, and politics that never stop. Naruto was the new jinchuriki.

Jinchuriki, upon doing some _secret_ research, were often seen as tools for the village and used as power plays. Jinchuriki were known to sometimes “lose it”. Kushina was an jinchuriki and never “lost it”. Itachi concluded that there were several factors that went into a “stable” jinchuriki. Age, chakra, healthy psych, and the seal. It was an interesting subject but one he didn't have long to delve into because of the laws the sandaime passed.

Being a jinchuriki wasn't even half the reason his mother wasn't allowed to adopt him, apparently. The rest was clan politics. Son of a kage being adopted by a clan under suspicion wasn't exactly smiles, rainbows, and dango. His mother was livid when she found out.

In essence, Itachi was intimately familiar with who Naruto was and why the Uchiha weren't allowed to approach him.

What bothered Itachi though, was that others that _could_ get close to the boy wouldn't. They were scared of him. It was semi-reasonable. But it should have been obvious that Naruto was a stable jinchuriki, it seemed obvious. Itachi had assumed that at least _some_ of the adults understood, though, not enough it seemed by the way Naruto reacted to the head pat.

Itachi got a few head pats, and what a strange way to show praise, but by the way Naruto responded...he must not have gotten near any.

The child responded to the pat with a smile, a stiff smile. The slight freezing of expression and the slightly bigger then necessary smile. The way his back straitened before slouching. The way his legs tensed briefly as if to run. Before it all settled down into what looked like any other happy child. A mask of a delighted child.

He didn't like it, but he had to leave.

Itachi looked one last time toward the kid, only to see the little jinchuriki's familiar blue eyes boring into him. His grin curling a little more around the edges before he laughed loudly at something the jounin had said.

Itachi had been obscured by the dense tree branches with his chakra completely suppressed.

The kid had known he was there, watching him.

Well...kicked puppies and steak tartare.

…

Naruto trailed behind Emiko and the other children. His wide grin up in all its megawatt glaring glory. He had sensed the Uchiha before he had even gotten near the park. He could recognize that chakra, suppressed or not, anywhere. It was distinct and odd enough that even in the first Timeline he could recognize it easily.

The boy’s chakra wasn’t tamed, nor was it wild. It wasn’t frigid and stony nor heated and passionate. It was more like an ember, something that could be calmed into nothing or sent up into a fiery inferno of doom. Compassionate and valued the lives it effected. Friend or enemy.

Naruto smirked on the inside, Itachi really was a pacifist by nature…unless it came to Sasuke’s safety. If Sasuke was in danger, the boy wouldn't pause even to fight against Kaguya herself. Itachi was a fierce protector once he set his mind to it.

He had sensed curiosity from Sasuke's brother; he was curious about Naruto. Naruto had found that geniuses, such as Shikamaru and Kakashi, would go to strange lengths to satisfy their curiosity and to figure out things that they didn't understand. They became obsessive until they got an answer or several good conclusions. It was probably some geniuses’ curse.

Naruto felt eyes staring into the back of his head, a causal sweep of chakra let him find a clone. He tilted his head up, hands resting casually behind his head. A shadow of a shadow moved across the roof.

Naruto sighed under his breath, “and so the stalking begins.”

…

Omake

(Assassination in the Castle)

Uzumaki Naruto: 23 rd  Year of the 2 nd Timeline, 10 th Day of the 6 th Month

Naruto looked down at the miniature version of Gaara, no older than four, and the brat's friends. Somehow he had gotten roped into playing with them. The problem was that he didn't know what Suna children played and decided to ask what they wanted to play.

He was picturing something along the lines of a friendly game of Oinin vs Nukenin. But no, what the little  _four_ year old decided on was, “Assassination in the Castle”. He admitted to not knowing what the game was, and they told him. It was  _complicated_ . What group of little kids played  _this_ ?

“Let me get this straight,” Naruto said, “the goal of the game...is to capture the psycho murderer and _not_ die?”

One of the little kids nodded. “Or kill everyone. Depends on your role.”

“Uh-huh...and how old are you?” Naruto rhetorically asked.

“I'm six, he's three, and Mina is four,” the oldest replied.

“...and Gaara is okay with you playing this?”

“Gaara-ji taught us,” the four year old replied, Temari's second child.

“Ah, okay, let's play.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Games Mentioned:
> 
> Esparia: Just to be clear, I renamed some outside games to fit into a ninja based culture. I'm just going to give a brief description/rules of the original game (as I know them) in case any of the readers haven't heard of it or aren't fluent in English and have different names for the games. I'll put in how it would probably fit into shinobi culture and then I'll add the probable benefits.
> 
> -“Police and Thieves” is “Cops and Robbers”: An outside/night game, 6+; there are two sides, the Cops and the Robbers. Cops look for and capture the Robbers, while the Robbers hide and avoid getting caught by trying to get to “Base”. There are variations, but this seems to be what most are about. I can't imagine it being all that different even in a shinobi society. (Hiding, Stealth, Searching, and Escaping)
> 
> -“Shinobi” is actually mentioned in the series and is probably “Make Believe”: An imagination game, 2+? It centers around pretend situations and people play-act their parts. Pretty obvious but you never know. For kids in shinobi culture, there are probably more shinobi 'missions' and I imagine it depends largely on the age of the kids playing, it's really playable for almost all ages. (Creative Thinking, ...and really anything else is possible)
> 
> -“Oinin vs Nukenin” is “Predators vs Prey” (I think it was originally called “Hide, Seek, and Tag”???): An outside game, 7+. There are one or two Predators that try to hunt down the Prey who are hiding and occasionally changing position. The Predators need to find them, chase them down, and “eat” them. While the Prey try to escape for a set period of time that's the Predator's “Life Time”. (No, I don't remember the original rules (Yes, it's because we started to play dirty, threw rocks to make noise, made false trails, and changed the rules to make it more fun (Yes, I enjoyed my childhood. Did you?))). The obvious change would be Hunter ninja (oinin) and Missing ninja (nukenin), it would promote the “being chased down is scary, don't defect” thing and the “this is how you escape enemy territory kids”. (Evasion, Stealth, Tracking, and Politics)
> 
> -“Assassination in the Castle” based off of a game my cousins, my siblings, and I created called “Hotel on Twenty-fifth Street”: it's a complex house game that would fit a little too well in ninja society, 10+. Think “Clue”, “Role play”, and elimination games. I've written out the rules but it's like a page long and I'm not tacking that onto this. If you want the rules, I can send them to you via PM (it's a good party game). What it boils down to is finding/exposing the killer, not dying, or (if you're the killer) killing everyone without being caught. Obviously a ninja game. Not sure on the age, there are different levels of difficulty that were made. (Stealth, Assassination training, Logical thinking, learning how to take on traits of characters)


	5. Memoirs of a Pacifist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: Itachi is easy for me to write, always has been. Which is why this chapter was and still is an Itachi centric chapter. It's also why I'm working on an Itachi fanfiction, granted it's not conventional at all.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Bits of Itachi's backstory, Uchiha, speculations about what happens.
> 
> Disclaimer: Esparia does not own Itachi's Book of Light, but once that sucker is translated you can bet your left pinky toe that it is being bought and added to the Overflow of Bookshelf. Itachi's Book of Light belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. And no, it is not filler for the anime, they simply didn't know where to put it.
> 
> Original Ch 5: 01/03/15
> 
> Update: 12/18/16
> 
> Omake: 02/23/17

 

Chapter Four

(Memoirs of a Pacifist)

Uchiha Itachi: 8 th Year of the 7 th Timeline, 20 th Day of the 7 th Month

Uchiha Itachi; a proclaimed genius, passive to the point of appearing cold and stuck up, heir to the Uchiha Clan, rival to ego damaged ninja, feared by enemies, obsessively loved by _certain_ people, deceptively patient, history obsessed, and conflicted.

Itachi was part of a large and rather old clan. They were once quite respected and highly revered. They were also a clan known for its brutality in the Warring Clan Era.

The Uchiha clan was a clan used to being a powerful and respected clan, feared yet accepted like their once rival clan, the Senju. The Senju had been a powerful clan and also highly respected, a worthy rival to have in the sights of the clan elders. When the Senju began to disappear through the wars, it left the balanced Uchiha-Senju system unbalance dramatically. **((Spellcheck tried to change Uchiha-Senju into Chihuahua Senju, just let the mental images sink in))**

Senju Tobirama had never much liked their clan, but he respected their intelligence as something to take into consideration. However, his bias and the horror of watching his clansmen disappear led to a certain level of anger that was unfortunately channeled towards his habitual enemy, the Uchiha.

Itachi had understood this, and while he didn't like how his clansmen were treated and hurt because of misplaced anger, he could feel empathy for the man. Though, it did cause some problems for the now of things.

Being that Tobirama had viewed the Uchiha with suspicion and treated them with such, it left a sort of prejudice that only really came to the forefront when the Kyūbi mysteriously began attacking. After all, Uchiha Madara himself, a founder of Konoha, had manipulated the Kyūbi no Kitsune to attack Hashirama.

The clan was under a lot of suspicion of late, and even were forced to move in a more viewable compound. Itachi liked the new compound, it was larger and had better access to the rivers. The way Itachi saw it, it wasn't such a bad thing for the other clans to watch them. For one,the other clans could watch their backs better. And besides, what better way to prove they're the good guys than to show them? Hiding away in a compound endeared them to nobody.

Sasuke wasn't aware and he likely wouldn't have been either had he not been used to listening to his mother's words for double meanings. But the fact of the matter was that the Uchiha clan were discontent with their position that was bestowed upon them by the hokage and their standing in Konoha. He didn't blame them, his clan valued the privacy of home and to have that violated wasn't pleasant. To be doubted wasn't pleasant and it rankled pride.

However, he didn't like how his clansmen were beginning to respond. Tenser, argumentative, and just downright unpleasant to be around.

He hoped that things would get better, like how it had gotten better with his teammates.

They didn't like him at first, but after he had proven himself to them. Shown them that he wasn't a stuck up prodigy and that he _wanted_ to be friends with them. And they were, they became friends and interactions with his team became... _fun_.

So why wouldn't that also apply to his clan and Konoha?

…

Uchiha Itachi: 8 th Year of the 7 th Timeline, 13 th Day of the 8 th Month

It was his fault. It had to have been.

Tenma had looked back at him before it happened. Tenma was trying to protect him, why else would he have rushed an opponent so much stronger than him?

That masked man, was he a nukenin? Who was he? Did it even matter who killed Tenma?

No, it didn't. Not really. They were just an honored genin team. Genin were easily replaced. Besides...wasn't it his fault Tenma put himself in danger? His fault his teammate died.

Tenma, his once male teammate, should have run, should have...lived. He should be alive and getting excited about the upcoming chunin exams and _maybe they'd get to go together as the best genin team ever_. Tenma should have been a shinobi that would teach the next generation, _because being a strong enough jounin that they want you to teach what you know to kids_ must _mean you're awesome_.

Shinko, Itachi's only female teammate, was going to resign and quit being a ninja. Shinko would have been a good kunoichi, maybe better suited for village missions but she would have had a good career; _those_ paper pushers _go through intelligence, which is just as important as getting the information_. She would have been able to make changes to the academy system; _the academy doesn't let you explore what you'd be good_ _at, I'm going to change that._

Yuki blamed himself too; _I'm your jounin teacher, it's my job to teach you three and to make sure you live to see yourselves become chunin_. Itachi knew he was grieving the way so many jounin seemed to, silently. He should have still had his entire team; _other jounin call me too cautious, but I just want you three to be strong enough to survive._ He would have been the sensei to a legendary team; _you three are going to do great things one day, and I'm going to help you achieve your potential._

And Itachi...Itachi blamed himself. Tenma put himself in danger for him and he was too weak to do anything.

His team was no longer Minazuki Yuki, Inari Shinko, Izumo Tenma, and Uchiha Itachi; the slightly strange group that made up Team Two. Now it was just Minazuki Yuki and Uchiha Itachi; who lost two of their genin and would be needing replacements.

His clan offered empty condolences and genuine praise at awakening his sharingan at such a young age. Nothing less of a prodigy from _our_ clan.

What good were these eyes that awakened when something bad happened? What good were these eyes to have when I couldn't save people important to him?

Itachi vowed to train these eyes, a supposed gift from a departed teammate, to be sure that he'd be able to save his precious people next time. He might not matter in the long run, but he refused to allow meaningless deaths like Tenma's.

…

Uchiha Itachi: 8 th Year of the 7 th Timeline, 29 th Day of the 12 th Month

The Hyuga were in an uproar.

Hyuga Hinata, their clan heiress, had been kidnapped by the diplomats from Kumo. She had been retrieved fairly swiftly, from what Itachi had heard, but in the process the Kumo ninja had been killed. Understandable, angry protective fathers tend to do things to people who lay hands against their kids. However, now Kumo was demanding the Hyuga clan head's head in compensation for the death of the ninja.

The Uchiha and the Hyuga didn't really like each other; they didn't have as big of a rivalry as they did with the Senju, but it was a close thing. However, with news this big and this insulting, even the withdrawing Uchiha clan were indignant for the Hyuga.

Most of the clans that had heard about this, their were a few clans that simply didn't care, were horrified by the display done by Kumo.

They were supposed to be settling a peace treaty, both Kumogakure and Konohagakure were tired from the war and both thought it would be a good thing to stop.

Everyone knew that Kumo wanted bloodlines more than a dragon wanted gold. So this call for the Hiashi's head was equal to that of them demanding for his bloodline, which the Hyuga guarded fervently.

From what Itachi had heard, the Hyuga were actually going to send someone over. With threats of continued war, they had to establish a peace of some sort. But the fact that is was in favor of the aggressor bothered many.

…

Uchiha Itachi: 8 th Year of the 7 th Timeline, 17 th Day of the 1 st Month

Itachi had been following Uzumaki Naruto for a few months now. And to put it simply, he was confused.

This was by far no common occurrence to Itachi. For most things he could figure out the problem within minutes, if not seconds. Sometimes a rather hard puzzle would make itself known and Itachi would take a few days to ponder it over before either finding the answer or a good guess.

However, for the last few months, he's been stumped over a certain short blond ball of energy that was skipping stones.

Now skipping stones isn't that weird for a kid, it's actually quite common for children to compete to see who could skip stones the farthest. However, from what Itachi had observed, the kid below his tree branch was anything but common. Uncommon didn't even begin to cover the kid's weirdness. It wasn't even a weirdness the blond had.

No, it was more like an unnaturally massive amount of unpredictability and surprises pent up into a tiny little body. This unpredictable skill of stone skipping against the flow of creeks was really just a small inkling of the surprises Itachi had been given.

After seeing the kid in the park notice him, Itachi had taken to following the kid to see if he really did notice him or if it was merely a fluke the kid looked his way. It had proved with utmost certainly that it was not a fluke.

At first he had thought perhaps the kid was a spy under a henge, a quick glance with his new sharingan proved that theory wrong. Which he was thankful for, what village would lose their jinchuriki to a puny spy implant? And, he really didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. _'Hey Hokage-sama, you know Yondaime-sama's kid? The current jinchuriki? Yeah, well, it seems that he's been replaced by a spy...thought I should let ya know.'_

Itachi couldn't watch the kid all the time, of course, but he would make occasional visits and question a few people about the boy. What he found was annoying and disconcerting.

Annoying because his theory was proved right. Few to none cared for Naruto on a personal level. And no one that was on a personal level with the kid would really reveal anything of significant importance, and passerby civilians/ninja would only share gossip. He didn't even bother with the ANBU around him, it would be more productive talking to brick walls and waiting for a reply. He had gone to the orphanage a few days back to ask the kids, see if they overheard or saw anything. What he got instead wasn't what he was looking for, but interesting none the less.

…

_Itachi overlooked the children playing at the orphanage. They were laughing and smiling like they didn't have a care in the world, living such a different childhood than he had._

_His gaze shifted to a small blond boy. A strange child, if anything. Most children would try their hardest to get friends, to be included, and to play games to their hearts content. While Kushina's son did try to befriend everyone in sight, he didn't try to be included into the other children's games, from what Itachi could tell._

_His pranks were, as far as Itachi had seen, the only playful interaction the boy had with the other children. Naruto was very skilled in pranking, whether that was a good thing or not had yet to be seen._

_Uzumaki Naruto, as he was, hadn't looked up for the duration of Itachi's stakeout. He seemed to find more interest in scratching nonsensical patterns in the ground with a stick, perhaps trying to imitate the kanji he had seen. If so, they were pretty poor imitations._

_The other children completely ignored the blond boy kicking dust over the scratches he made before continuing. Then Itachi got an idea._

_He silently hopped out of his tree before he made the signs for a henge. A poof later a short, brown haired, dull eyed child replaced him. Freckles dotted his cheek bones and nose. He looked about five or maybe six years old. With his new age in mind, he wandered into the children's line of sight._

_One boy with spiky brown hair noticed him first and waved him over._

“ _Hey, you! Yeah, you. Do ya wanna play a game with us?”_

_Itachi shifted 'uneasily' before nodding and trotting over to the small group of boys. Reminding himself that this was for information gathering, even if he was a_ little _excited to play a game._

_The others in the yard were looking at Itachi before either wandering closer to meet him or going back to what they were doing. Naruto glanced up before going back to his scratching._

_Itachi introduced himself and was quickly brought into the group. A game of ball was quickly established and they began to play. For Itachi this was one of the few times this had happened and couldn't help but enjoy himself, it was...fun. After a bit, he decided to ask a few questions._

“ _Who's that boy over there?” He had asked the group while pointing at the lone jinchuriki, “he looks lonely.”_

_The assumed leader of the group looked over to where Itachi was pointing before he replied, “Oh, that's Naruto. Most of the adults don't like him too much, they'll tell you not to play with him.”_

“ _It's not like he asks to play,” muttered another kid._

“ _Why?” Itachi asked the first boy, attempting to make himself sound less like a small adult._

_The boy shrugged. “They say he's a bad influence and dangerous to be around. He isn't that bad. Too many pranks maybe. But he doesn't acts dangerous. Unlike that evil cat... Anyway, he's just really annoying and stupid. You're not from around here so it's okay you didn't know. Just don't play with him, your Kaa-san might get angry.”_

_Itachi tilted his head and eyed Naruto. “He doesn't seem annoying.”_

_A kid with broken glasses piped up, “you can't really tell all the time, but you can try talking to him. But he's a little weird, just saying.”_

_Itachi tilted his head, eyebrows furrowed, and echoed, “weird?”_

“ _Uh-huh.” A black haired kid nodded. “He talks funny, kinda like how jiji-chan did before he died.”_

“ _He talks like an elder?” Itachi asked in bemusement, from what few interactions he had seen from Naruto, they hardly seemed like something an elder would say._

“ _Eh, sometimes. Other times he is just a retard,” a boy with black hair said._

_The proclaimed leader smacked the black haired boy upside the head. “That's a bad word, we don't say it,” the boy chided the black haired boy, “Try again.”_

_The black haired boy rolled his eyes before saying, “Of course Okaa-san, whatever you say Okaa-san!” Looking over at Itachi he said, “He really can be an idiot though. Like one moment you'll have a super genius and the next you’re talking to a complete idiot. Almost like he has that...what do you call it...split personality? Bipolar? Something like that. But you can only really see it up close.”_

_A small boy mumbled, “you could try talking to him yourself...you can rejoin the game afterward...”_

“ _Hm,” Itachi replied before making his way over to Naruto, who was busily scratching away at the dirt in front of him. The kids didn't know much in the line of facts, not that they should have or that he was expecting them to. But you'd be surprised how much a child knows in the line of perception and observation, adults were also more lax when talking and thinking the kid didn't know what they spoke of._

“ _Hello,” Itachi said when he came up to the blond._

_Naruto blinked up at him. “Hello, is there something you want?”_

_Kids around the yard glanced over to the pair from time to time before continuing their games and ignoring them._

“ _A-ah, no,” Itachi stuttered out, trying to keep up a curious kid like persona, “you were all by yourself...so...”_

_Naruto smiled then asked, “do you want to sit?”_

_The blonde patted the ground to the left of him, his stick discarded in front of him._

_Itachi settled down by Naruto with grace that would make a cat green with envy and no notable sound._

_They were quiet for a moment before Naruto chirped happily, “It's nice outside today, isn't it?”_

_Itachi murmured an agreement; the boys he had been playing with resumed their game._

_Naruto tilted his head up, smiling at the sky. Itachi sat silently by the blonde and observed the boy's actions._

_Naruto looked over at Itachi. “You have a question in your eyes.”_

_Itachi inwardly started; well there was that “elder talk” the boys had mentioned. He nodded to Naruto's question and asked, “why are you alone?”_

_Naruto hummed and seemed to think for a moment before replying, “Because, I have no one to talk with.”_

_Naruto's response processed through Itachi's brain, few children talked “with” anyone, most children talked “to” people. Underneath the underneath. Itachi eyed him in interest. “But aren't you lonely by yourself?”_

“ _I suppose,” Naruto said, “but not as lonely as you.”_

_Itachi's eyes snapped to the blue eyes that seemed oh so very old. The boy smiled gently, and for the first time in a long time, Itachi felt like someone could see him. Someone knew_ him _._

“ _I am not alone, how am I lonely?” Itachi asked, perhaps a little, itty bitty, tiny wee bit uncertain._

_Naruto looked back up at the blue sky, wisps of clouds moving lazily across the sky._

_Naruto sighed, “Loneliness is more complicated than simply being alone. Humans need to be connected in some shape or form. It's a basic need to be filled, to be connected, to care. Perhaps even more basic then food, water, or shelter. While those help your body stay alive, care keeps your spirit alive and healthy. Some don't get that care and lose themselves, they die inside. A person can be surrounded by people, they can be the most popular person in the world, but if they aren't cared for, they are no better off being isolated.”_

_Itachi waited for Naruto to continue, but the boys didn't seem interested in continuing. Naruto picked up his stick and began scratching the dirt again with indecipherable glyphs._

“ _I have a family,” Itachi tried prompting._

“ _I had a family,” the boy responded, making a few flowing marks in the dirt._

“ _Is that hard?” Itachi asked, unsatisfied with the response. Kids had a hard time shutting up, and usually gave a lot more information then you needed._

“ _It doesn't feel good to lose your family, but you make room to make a new family.” Naruto said, kicking the dirt clear of scratch marks._

“ _You want to be adopted?” Itachi asked, assuming that's what the boy meant._

“ _No,” Naruto responded, “that's not the type of family I want.”_

_Itachi was confused; the boy seemed to contradict himself._

“ _I want to build my family from the precious people I will meet. Those are who my family will be, besides,” Naruto said looking up with a grin, “no one would dare adopt the future Hokage in fear that their neighbors would get to jealous of my awesomeness!”_

_Itachi smiled a bit, feeling bad for the ignorant boy. He looked down at the scratch marks the boy was making. “What are you doing?”_

“ _Ah, organizing an idea,” Naruto said, before kicking the scratches into nothing._

_Itachi didn't know what to make of that so let it be. His blond partner looked up at the sky with a tired sigh. Naruto watched the fast moving clouds cross the upside down ocean._

“ _A storm is coming,” Itachi heard Naruto say more to himself then to Itachi._

_Itachi looked up and wondered if the little jinchuriki was talking about something more than the weather._

_With a sigh he got up and brushed off his pants. “It's getting late, I have to go home for lunch or else my kaa-san will be angry.”_

_Most of the other kids had already gone inside to eat their lunch._

“ _See you later Naruto-san,” Itachi said with wave._

_Naruto smiled and waved at his retreating figure. “Bye-bye Shinobi-san, hope your Okaa-san doesn’t get mad if you’re late.”_

_Itachi paused and looked over at the blonde. Naruto also got up and was brushing dirt off his shorts._

_Naruto smiled at him and said, “It was fun talking with you, feel free to drop by any time you want.”_

_Itachi just stared._

“ _Ah! Better get lunch if I want any! Ja ne!” Naruto dashed into the orphanage._

_What an interesting kid._

…

Itachi shook himself out of his musings and looked back down at Naruto, who was cradling something in his hands.

Itachi allowed a bit of chakra to his ears, enhancing them to hear what the blonde was saying.

“-you’ll grow to be big and strong. Don’t worry what all the others say; even if you can’t hop or swim like they do, there are other ways to do it. Why, I remember when Gamakichi lost a leg to that punk Uchiha. May his plans burn in a pit of Amaterasu and angry Senju decedents.

“He had the worst time moving around, he wasn’t a frog like you, he was a toad- is a toad. He was real sad he couldn’t move around the way he used to, because he was used to how he moved before. But he learned how to move about. In fact, he learned how to move so fast, he ended up being the fastest toad out there. So just because you were born with a missing leg doesn’t give you a free ticket to giving up. The ones that go through the hardest things and make it out are the strongest. So here’s what you do. Tilt yourself so you sort of hop at an angle, your back leg should be centered to about…there. You’ll gain more muscle, but if you learn how to channel your chakra- er, inner energy into your back leg, you’ll be hopping five times the speed of any other frog. Swimming? Ah, try making either your hind leg move up and down like a beaver tale or you could try spiral swimming. It's fast but tiring.”

Itachi moved to a higher branch to look down at the frog in Naruto’s hands, a small thing that didn’t look like it had a chance at surviving. Though, he wasn’t about to interrupt the kid’s pep talk. Even if it was aimed at a frog. The question stood as to how the kid knew about the Uchiha’s black flames. Someone was being loose tongued about clan secrets. Even if those flames were simply legend, even legends had a grain of truth to them. Itachi mentally noted to investigate possible leaks.

Naruto carefully deposited the three legged frog in the shallows, it's tiny feet hung to the overhanging grass blades. It croaked a little before hopping into the water.

Naruto smiled and knelt down beside it. “Yeah, see you later Harachan. Keep an eye on the place while I'm gone, I'm expecting you to dominate the stream by the time I come back.”

The frog gave a out a confirming croak before leaping into the creek's cool waters. Naruto knelt at the water's edge for a good minutes before he said, “Is there something you want, Shinobi-san?”

Itachi leaped down beside Naruto, coming face to face in his true form for the first time. Naruto tilted his head up to look at Itachi, a smile firmly in place.

“Naruto-kun,” Itachi greeted neutrally, trying to gage the younger boy's reaction.

Naruto sat back on his haunches and patted the forest floor beside him. “You want to know something.”

Itachi sat beside the boy, a little perturbed that he was so easily read. He did want to know something, and it wasn't just the answers to the young enigma sitting beside him. Itachi wondered if this was how other adults felt around him.

They sat quietly, the only sounds were the creek's trickling waters, the soft breeze gently caressing the leaves, and the comforting symphony of the songbirds. The sun dappled the forest floor, shifting and changing like a kaleidoscope when the wind made the leaves dance. The cool smell of earth and clean water when one inhaled, delicately enhanced by the wildflowers. And for a moment, all Itachi could feel was the serenity of nature untainted by the problems of man.

Itachi looked over at the little jinchuriki, his eyes were closed and a small smile rested on the whiskered face. Breeze brushing by his sunlight like hair. He looked a lot like Minato, but had more of Kushina's facial build.

Itachi closed his eyes, a peaceful smile making its way onto his own tired features. Perhaps Itachi would never understand the jinchuriki (Kushina was confusing enough), but that was alright. Few stopped to feel the world around them, not just the pained experiences...but the beauty, the feeling of being alive. For that, he too let himself stop, because someone else knew. Someone else was like him, had live through bad things but still thought the world was pretty.

Itachi thought, maybe he could be friends with this strange bright haired and old eyed child. That didn't mean he was going to stop trying to figure him out.

…

Omake

(Did you mean: “Chihuahua Senju”?)

Madara was your typical, run-of-the-mill, average chow chow. He prided himself in his lush black coat and he was particularly fond of belly scratches.

Sure his temperament wasn't always stellar, but could you honestly blame him? He lived next to door to a hyperactive golden retriever and his menacing “younger brother”.

Madara would admit to himself that Hashirama was his best friend. He wasn't even all that bad for a golden retriever, though, his lack of personal space got on Madara's nerves. The status as best friend did give that overgrown slobber machine _some_ leeway, such as hanging around and getting treats from Madara's human.

It also meant that Hashirama would come visiting whenever something interesting, to the golden retriever, happened.

“Madara! Madara! Madara!” Hashirama barked excitedly as he skidded around the fence.

Madara huffed quietly, standing up in case the other canine decided to tackle him.

“Madara! Madara! Mada-”

“Shut up! I can hear you fine,” Madara growled with no real threat.

Hashirama's body was practically vibrating; mouth closed, eyes wide with excitement, and tail hesitantly twitching.

“What do you want, Hashirama?” Madara asked, sitting down.

Hashirama's tail responded immediately, wagging hard enough to twist his fuzzy gold butt back and forth. “Mito said yes!”

Mito was a mild tempered, unless you got her angry, cocker spaniel who Hashirama had been pining over since her owner moved in across the street.

“I told you she would,” Madara huffed, deciding to lay back down.

“We have to celebrate!” Hashirama decided, jumping on top of Madara's back.

“Hn.” Madara rolled and kicked his friend off. “Do it with your girlfriend or that annoying yipping mutt you call brother.”

“What you say about me?!” Tobirama, a white little chihuahua, yipped angrily; head poking through the fence.

“Nothing at all, you little rat!” Madara growled.

“Better a rat than a black cloud with legs!” Tobirama growled back.

“At least I have fur.”

“I'm not the one panting a fountain off my tongue, now am I?”

Hashirama intervened. “Come on guys, it's a great day. There's no need to fight-”

At that moment, Madara's human came out. “Madara-chan, blah blah blah vet blah blah blah.”

The three dogs froze.

“Did...did your human say vet?” Hashirama questioned.

Tobirama's tail began wagging. “Hehe, she sure did.”

“No.” Madara crouched nervously.

“Um, it's been fun, but uh....I'm going to go back to Mito's now. Bye!” Hashirama sped out of Madara's yard faster than you could bark “dinner”.

“Tata, _Madara-chan_ , have fun at the vet,” Tobirama laughed and ducked his head out of the hole in the fence.

“That mangy _rat_.”

 


	6. The Triple Digits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: I did most of this within the spans of a day, trying to get as much done before Christmas, and combining three chapters by cutting out OC stuff. That was...an experience.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Implied child neglect, implied Danzo presence, and some lonely imagery.
> 
> Original Ch 6: 1/10/15  
> Original Ch 7: 1/17/15  
> Original Ch 8: 1/25/15  
> Update: 12/21/16  
> Omake: 8/16/15

Chapter Five

(The Triple Digits)

Uzumaki Naruto: 4 th  Year of the 7  th  Timeline, 11  th  Day of the 3  rd  Month

Naruto was lying down outside the orphanage looking up at the paling sky. It was early morning and light clouds were just visible in the morning light. The green grass was itching his back because grass is really not _that_ soft. He was contemplating life and it's mysteries, such as why people didn't seem to like the color orange. It was a nice color.

It was then he heard a big boom.

Naruto lazily watched smoke float across the sky. “Well it looks like the chicken spontaneously combusted and blew up half the kitchen, _again_. I wonder if I’ll be blamed for that.”

“NARUTO!” An enraged voice screamed across the grounds

Naruto tilted his head and mused to himself, “I think that _might_ be a yes.”

Naruto hopped up from his spot on the grass and ran toward his room, didn't need people knowing he snuck out more nights than need be. It was there that the staff marched into his room and pulled him out. He hung limp as they dragged him away to the Hokage’s office.

At least it was going to be an interesting day.

…

Sarutobi Hiruzen: 61 st  Year of the 7  th  Timeline, 11  th  Day of the 3  rd  Month

Hiruzen was an old man, by ninja standards at the very least. He had seen many things and had been around almost as long as the ninja villages have been standing. Not much could surprise him any more. There were few exceptions, the boy standing in front of him was one of them. The most unpredictable child he had ever the pleasure to meet.

Chewing on his pipe, Hiruzen inspected the child. More apathetic and bored than anything else.

“The orphanage is requesting that you be relocated to a solitary apartment,” Hiruzen said and set his pipe down, “For repeatedly destroying and contaminating food, harassing the other children and workers with pranks, and for _blowing up_ the oven in the kitchen.”

“...did you know that frozen chicken can explode when you cook it in boiling oil?” Naruto asked, thinking about how good that fried chicken could have been.

Hiruzen blinked, taken aback. “No, I didn’t. I wonder why that is.”

Naruto tilted his head. “I think it has something to do with rapidly expanding water molecules. A good technique if ever harnessed.”

The ANBU watching the exchange glanced at one another, they'd have to take that idea to their Jutsu Making Club. They met every Monday in the commons. You only got food if you brought a workable idea in. The bagels were on Shira this week. Shira makes her own food. Which meant that there were going to be a lot of bagels. Good bagels. The kind of bagels that went beyond normal bagel standards.

Naruto hummed, “yeah, water particles.”

The Hokage tapped out his pipe before folding his hands. He looked down at the hyperactive child and wearily said, “Naruto-kun.”

“Jiji,” Naruto replied with a grin, eyes crinkling closed.

Hiruzen pinched the bridge of his nose and asked, “Did you really set the kitchen on fire?”

“Hmm,” Naruto hummed and shrugged, not really saying anything. He was a terrible liar and he knew it.

Hiruzen, however, knew when someone wasn't telling him something. Naruto wasn't only not telling him anything, but he seemed determined to make him think that Naruto was the one who set the kitchen on fire via blown up chicken. Was it really only eight in the morning?

“Why are you willing to take the blame, Naruto-kun?” He asked and sighed, “you will have to leave if you take the blame, even if you didn't do it.”

Naruto pouted. “But I want to leave.”

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yeah, I wanna live on my own, like adults. Plus, they mean there. Not Emiko-san, she is nice. But no one really wants me there, me neither,” He looked over his shoulder to the door and then stage whispered, “the food is icky too.”

“Oh Naruto-kun,” Hiruzen said with a sad note in his voice.

“Please, please, _please_ Jiji-tama!” Naruto jumped up on the Hokage’s desk. “I really, really, _really_ want to live on my own.”

“Let me talk to someone first, Naruto-kun. Could you wait outside my door for a moment?” Hiruzen gestured to the door.

“Mmm-Hmm!” Naruto dashed out of the room and shut the door with a bang.

“Inu,” the Hokage said to the empty room.

A shadowy figure dropped into the once empty space. “Hokage-sama?”

“What do think of Naruto living in an apartment by himself?” he asked the young man.

“Hokage-sama?”

“You’ve been keeping an eye on him, have you not?”

The dog masked man inclined his head, “he seems at ease when left alone. He isn’t troubled by the villagers' reactions and responses to him. He understands a great deal of what is told to him. Over all, he is a very independent and caring child.”

“Isn’t troubled you say,” Hiruzen murmured under his breath.

…

Uzumaki Naruto: 4 th  Year of the 7  th  Timeline, 12  th  Day of the 3  rd  Month

Naruto sat on the counter of the kitchenette. The kitchenette in the apartment. The kitchenette in the apartment given to Naruto. Naruto's kitchenette.

Yes, it was all his. The bedroom was his. The bathroom was his. The kitchenette/dinning room was also his. He even got an awesome little balcony he could hop from to the roof nearby, when he was a ninja of course.

All in all, he was pleased with the set up. He would've had to leave the orphanage when he was five or six anyway due to space, being unwanted, and being enrolled in the ninja academy. Having escaped the orphanage earlier than he originally did was a good thing. It would leave him more time and privacy to work on his fuinjutsu and calligraphy in general. Fine motor skills were difficult to work on when you had a dozen or so eyes on you at all times. Now he only had a pair or two, which he could avoid to some extent if he angled his body right. Nosy ANBU were nosy, Root ANBU were even worse but didn't come around too often.

Naruto swung his legs back and forth, thinking what he should do next. The furniture were all set up, his bed was made, and most of his things were where they needed to be. Clothes in the drawers, food in the cupboards, thingamajigs in boxes under his bed. He only really needed to put away his few early reading books.

With a shrug, Naruto stood on his counter and jumped to the table. He grabbed the small pile of kid books; “Shirayuki”, “My First Syllabus”, and “Easy as 1 2 3!”. With a quick dash towards the empty shelf, he stuffed the items in and nodded to himself before slumping. Now he had absolutely nothings to do, it would take a while for the silent guards to become lax enough that he could do anything somewhat interesting.

Naruto was bored and a bored Naruto usually spelled disaster. With not much to do, and not wanting to get in trouble for a prank quite yet; Naruto decided that if he was bored, so was the fox.

_'I wonder what he's been up to?'_

Jumping into his bed, Naruto closed his eye and went mind walking.

Naruto gave his surroundings a cursory glance. _‘Sewers, why does it always go back to sewers when I slip back?’_

Naruto sloshed through the murky water, humming a little ditty the fox once taught him. Apparently Hagoromo, when he first split them into the nine little beasties, sung them to sleep at night. Imagine trying to get nine titanic babies to go to bed. No, imagine trying to _parent_ nine titanic babies. Forget ninshu and being the legendary Rikudo Sennin, his great whatever grandfather was a supermom.

By the time Naruto got to Kurama’s cage, soft snores were echoing the halls of his mind.

“ _Wakey, Wakey, Kurama-kun,”_ he said. His voice disturbed the fox slightly, who rolled over with a slosh of sewer water and muttered, _“Five more minutes, touchyan.”_

“ _Come now, Kurama-kun,”_ Naruto said, _“Don’t you want to meet your new jinchuriki?”_

Kurama huffed, still half asleep, _“No. Wanna sleep.”_

“ _Come on you lazy fox, wouldn’t keep your new jinchuriki waiting.”_ Naruto nudged the fox with his consciousness.

…

Otsutsuki Kurama: 918 th  Year of the 7  th  Timeline, 12  th  Day of the 3  rd  Month

Kurama startled at the foreign presence that prodded his chakra. He found what appeared to be a short yellow-haired human that fell in the range of about five to twenty. Kurama never was the best at judging human age, but this human seemed to be emitting confusing mental self images, so who could really blame him?

The giant fox looked down at the short human kid, probably his jinchuriki which meant that it was also (probably) the owner of this unstable mind. Kurama usually liked pulling mind games on his jinchuriki, whenever he was unfortunate enough to have one, but in a case like this...he didn't want to “rock the boat” as some humans put it. That didn't mean it was getting a free pass.

“ _ **So the warden decides grace humble old me with its presence,”**_ he growled mockingly, adding his telepathic voice to his own, making him sound louder and more haunting. It was good for striking terror in the hearts of men...or however his voice was described by the petty little things.

Naruto hummed and shrugged, _“more like reestablishing some things before the world gets too chaotic. Something I think you'd help me with, given time.”_

The human, Kurama decided, was a crazy one, not so much as a cringe in fear from the massive amount of Killing Intent he was radiating. Something was obviously wrong with the thing’s psyche. The next half a century weren't looking to be so great, though perhaps he could get some information out of it. Figure out how far gone the thing's mind was and how he could manipulate it from there.

“ ** _Oh, is that so?”_ ** Kurama snickered, **_“Little human, can't you see I live for chaos? What could be so terrible that I would help_ you _?”_**

“ _I, my dear Cotton Tails, am in the process of saving the world from an unfortunate demise,”_ Naruto said, _“I have managed to get myself into a position that’s been making me repeat my life a few times now. I’ve come from varies futures and need your help.”_

Kurama thought over what the boy said before he replied, _ **“I am assuming that since you have the audacity to walk up to me, the great fox demon-“**_

“ _Which you aren’t,”_ Naruto interrupted, _“not demon, that is.”_

“ _ **What?”**_ Kurama looked down at the human. It wasn’t natural, he decided, for such a small thing to not assume him to be an evil incarnate monster.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders, _“you’re just a biju.”_

“ _Just a biju,”_ Kurama repeated dumbly, his telepathic echo faded away. Yep, his new jinchuriki was not right in the head at _all_.

Pinching the bridge of his snout, Kurama regarded the little human. It thoroughly thought it was from the future, _of course_ he'd end up with the unstable human, that was just the way his life went.

Kurama sighed, time to save face and do some damage control, _“even if you were from a future. Which I seriously doubt because your sanity has obviously been damaged. What on this wretched earth could have possibly made you think of me, the Kyūbi no Kitsune, as_ just _a biju.”_

“ _Try thinking along the lines of a rampaging juubi under a certain Uchiha's control destroying the world, a plant man trying to revive his mother after she was sealed away from the world so she didn't destroy it, the biju my closest allies, all mankind fighting for their lives and futures and you'll get my train of thought,”_ Naruto said.

“ _Ha-ha, your so funny. Me, the Kyūbi no Kitsune, the nine-tailed chakra beast, most powerful of the biju, and a natural disaster, siding with the humans?”_ Kurama rolled his eyes, this was sadder than he thought. _“I hate all of humanity, yourself included…although I’m finding that I’m pitying you more than hate. Poor pathetic thing, how unfortunate I’d be stuck with an already mentally unstable jinchuriki.”_

“ _Took a while, but we came to a sort of symbiotic relationship before. Though you were never this calm about meeting me,”_ Naruto said, then paused, _“Seems someone needs my attention in the outside world, we'll talk more later. Ja ne, Kurama-kun.”_

Naruto's conscious disappeared from his mindscape, leaving behind a stupefied giant fox, _“It_ knows _my name. The rabid things knows my name!”_

…

Uzumaki Naruto: 5 th  Year of the 7  th  Timeline, 21  st  Day of the 5  th  Month

Naruto hummed softly as he made his bed, smoothing his goldenrod comforter and white sheets he paused. His blue eyes that had seen more then an outsider would believe, looked up out his bedroom’s single window. The Hokage Monument’s four faces stared across the village with a cool detachment. Naruto couldn’t help but feel the absence of the Godaime and Rokudaime’s faces. He hummed a note to himself before returning to his cleaning.

It had been a little over a year since he had gotten his apartment back and he was being taught how to live independently. It was Emiko who saw to his needs, not to say he didn’t like it, it was a nice change of pace to see someone that wasn't masked and he could interact with.

She had taught him recipes so that he'd know how to make food that was healthy for his growing body. Some of the recipes she taught him he had already learned from Hinata, when Hinata was either his wife or close comrade. Emiko, however, did teach him some new ones that didn’t require a stove. Emiko was set on not allowing him near the hotplate until he was “old enough”. She had taught him some cleaning and hygiene tips, that only a guardian of many children would know. She had taught him how to sew and mend his clothes, which would be valuable in the future.

With Emiko’s help and occasional lessons, Naruto learned more in cooking and general house maintenance in a year than he had all his lives combined. Naruto planned on dropping by the library and for a cookbook and copying down some recipes once he was able to make a long lasting henge. His chakra was no longer under good enough control where he could hold a henge for more then fifteen minutes. Which was pretty pathetic in comparison to his record year long henge in the second Timeline.

This lack of control was something Naruto was hastily correcting. He hadn’t been able to work with his chakra at the orphanage since there were too many prying eyes and loose tongued children. Since chakra usage was out of the question, he stuck to fixing his motor skills, coordination, dexterity, and fuinjutsu script. Itachi had actually caught him working on a new seal that allowed the user to hear and translate the animal languages, sadly one could only understand what was being said. He had yet to figure out how to respond without using his entire body for the body language words, perhaps a telepathic image would work.

However, today he was working on an older project. One that would be the epitome of awesome.

Naruto fluffed up his single pillow before tossing it back on his bed. He sat down on the floor with a determined look. He reached under the bed for an empty scroll and brush. He leaned up into his bedside drawer and pulled out a sumistick and a ceramic bowl (he couldn't really afford a suzuri (an inkstone)).

With a small chakra flare he made a light genjutsu in case anyone looked through his windows or were listening in. With that in place he set to work.

Naruto rubbed one end of the sumistick until a small amount of fine black powder was at the bottom of the bowl. Content with the amount of black powder, he walked into his kitchen. He turned the tap on until a small dribble of water was flowing. Adding the right amount of water to the powder, he flipped the tap off. It certainly wasn't the _right_ way to do it, but it was the best he could do with what he had.

Naruto unfurled his scroll and smoothed it with a few heavy things to keep the scroll from furling. He dipped his brush into the black substance before dragging out the excess liquid. Brush poised above paper he breathed in before releasing it. Then he furiously got to work on one of the most complicated designs created by man, a fuinjutsu master would gawk and possibly have a minor stroke at the level of mastery shown by a mere five year old.

Naruto had this seal in the making for lifetimes, working out the problems in its design and the theories for it for around forty years. He had finally had a break through that had been causing him to have the most problems.

The seal was nothing short of insanity made sane and impossible made reality. It made the Hiraishin look like a baby's work, for it was the work of a master with a few lifetime's worth of study and natural creativity.

A few hours later he grinned and held up the dried scroll. “At last, my ultimate masterpiece is complete! Let the world tremble at my awe inspiring fuinjutsu skills, mwaha-mwahahaha! Fear me world. You are about to meet your waterloo against my creation! For I, Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto, have created the first and only-”

A quiet knocking at the door interrupted him. Naruto hid the scroll under his bed and released the jutsu placed around him before running up to the door.

Flinging it open, he met with the stoic mask of a cat.

“Hokage-sama wishes to see you in his office, Naruto-kun,” Neko said before disappearing to the roof.

Naruto was grinning from ear to ear as he went to the Hokage's office. Leaving many to wonder why that kid seemed so pleased with himself.

…

Naruto bound down his mindscape, he was waiting to gain admittance to the hokage's office. While he waited for his Jiji to call him in, he decided to visit his mind. As strange as it sounded, he felt there was something important he was missing about the day. And it wasn't because he just broke most theories in fuinjutsu today, though that might have contributed.

Passing by his memories, he decided to check up on the seals over them. As any respectable seal master would warn you, seals had a tendency to wear down over time.

Having decided to divide, or compartmentalize as Ino put it, his memories based on timelines. Sealing them was necessary, otherwise his memories would start melding to this timeline. He left the current timeline's door unsealed for obvious reasons.

Checking over the seal of the first door, he let himself run some typical tests before moving to the next. He continued down the memory doors, finding nothing wrong until he reached the eighth consecutive door.

He had never seen this eighth door, though it wasn't as if he actively searched

He walked inside and looked around the room, finding he definitely didn't remember the room. It was a conference room with a large table. Three chairs sat to the left and three chairs sat to the right with a single chair opposite of the door.

He made his way to the center chair. He sat down and instantly the remaining six chairs were filled with his doppelgangers. Each a varying age, ranging from his six year old self to his twenty-three year old self. Their appearance seemed to be how he looked when he died in their timelines.

He looked around the room. _“So...this brings compartmentalizing to a new level. I'd almost want to say I was insane if this weren't likely born from me thinking and sorting out memories so often.”_

The other Narutos looked at each other before nodding, agreeing to what it probably was.

 _'I really hope they're just personification of my memories, else this is going to get awkward really fast.'_ He sighed, _“Any idea why this came up now?”_

A twenty three year old Naruto, his second life, twisted his wedding ring in thought before he said, _“I think all of my- our past Timelines were learning Timelines. Humans would mess up too much if we were given just one shot at fixing it. We didn't have any past experience with time travel-”_

“ _Who does,”_ sniped the twelve year old Naruto, the life he was fairly certain (given the singed clothes and mangled arm) died from Orochimaru's theory gone wrong, _“it wasn't like we knew what would happen if we changed things beyond our sight. It wasn't like we could ask around anyway, no one time travels and you all know how well it is to warn people.”_

“ _Well,”_ the sickly Root ANBU version quietly said, _“I learned not to mess too heavily, didn't we?”_

“ _But if I don't mess with the Timeline, it'll end up like the original,”_ the battle scarred and his first version of himself argued, fingering a hole in his armor.

“ _We did pretty well before botching your Timeline, though we can't leave any threat not taken care of,”_ the sixteen year old said shuddering. His hand slid to his abdomen unconsciously. That had been his forth life, dead by the hands of his best friend.

“ _But why now? We could've gotten things sorted out much faster if we could have done this earlier,”_ Naruto said, his seventh Timeline body fluctuating to different ages as each one talked.

No one spoke, since no one knew why they had such a room in their head. There was a heavy pause in conversation.

“ _...I turned 100 today!”_ The six year old Naruto exclaimed, happily breaking the silence to add his share to the discussion.

“ _Well...there is that, ”_ the first life said, _“Happy 100_ _th_ _Birthday Naruto.”_

“ _Happy Birthday to you too, Naruto,”_ his six year old self replied, wiping a dribble of blood off his forehead like one would wipe away sweat.

“ _Triple digits, huh.”_ A small smile made its way onto the forth lifetime's Naruto.

“ _I could've been a great-grandpa by now...”_ his oldest self whispered, a mournful smile on his face.

“ _Tch, who cares,”_ grumbled his gloomy twelve year old self, _“not like we have anything to show for our age.”_

The pale Naruto dressed in a Root uniform glanced up. _“Someone's trying to wake us up,_ old man _.”_

“ _You're insulting yourself,”_ grumbled the five year old Naruto, before closing his eyes and disappearing from his mindscape along with his split memories.

The Kurama sat in his cell in shock, having heard the whole thing echo through the human's mind. Shaking his head he chucked. _“That human has_ issues _.”_

“ _So do you,”_ chirped an excited six year old, blood once again dribbling down his forehead.

Kurama jumped, staring down at a projection of a past timeline.

The little projection stared back up with wide blue eyes.

“ _It's nuts,”_ Kurama whispered to himself, horrified.

And it _smiled_.

…

Naruto burst through the door. “Hey Old Man!”

“Hello Naruto-kun,” the Hokage said, gesturing to a seat, “please have a seat.”

“Okay,” Naruto said with a grin as he jumped into the chair and waited for the old man to continue.

The Sandaime puffed his pipe, before slowly releasing a smoke ring as he looked down at the bouncing child in front of his desk. After a few smoke rings and a lot of fidgeting later he finally asked, “How would you like to start going to the academy in April?”

“The _ninja_ academy?” Naruto asked, leaning forward in his seat.

Hiruzen hummed, “yes, I meant the ninja academy. You said you wanted to be one when you were older, though if you don't want to be a ninja anymore...the civilian's technical academy still has a few openings...”

“No!” Naruto exclaimed in horror.

“No?” Hiruzen echoed in mock confusion, a small smile playing along the corners of his mouth, “Well not to worry, Naruto-kun, I have the _civilian_ academy papers right here. I didn't know you didn't want to be a ninja that bad-”

“No, no, no,” Naruto repeated, leaping from his chair to stand in front of the Sandaime's desk to plead, “Not a boring civilian academy. I want to be a ninja!”

Hiruzen chuckled before ruffling his blond hair, “I'm just teasing, you'll get to go to the ninja academy next spring. You can be a ninja.”

Naruto huffed, crossing his arms and puffing out his chest. “Of _course_ I can be a ninja. I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm gonna be the bestest ninja ever, dattebayo!”

A polite knock on the door called an end to Naruto self proclaimed mission to make the Hokage understand just _why_ he was going to be the bestest ninja ever.

“Hokage-sama, you have a meeting in fifteen minutes with Shimura-sama,” his secretary said before closing the door.

Hiruzen sighed, “Well, Naruto, it looks like we're going to have to call our meeting short. Are you okay with walking home by yourself?”

“Yup! But I'm gonna go to the park first and play on the new swings they put there,” Naruto said as he ran towards the door, “bye-bye, Jii-chan!”

With a yank and a pull, Naruto was out the door and flying down the halls. Leaving behind a tired man to face the likes of Shimura Danzo. The most politically exhausting man in existence.

…

Going to the park was originally going to just be people watching. But with the hokage's crystal ball, it was probably best to err on the side of caution and actually swing.

Naruto soon arrived to the park, his presence was soon noticed by the adults in the area who either ushered their children out of the park or kept a hawk like watch over him.

Naruto ran up to the swings, which were quickly cleared of other children. One kid, having greeted Naruto, was pulled off the swing set and soon left the park.

Naruto smiled as he pulled his body back and forth. He let out a laugh when he got high enough that his butt started floating off the seat. He felt like he was flying, up up up into the sky and then a pause before he free fell toward the ground. There was something different from swinging and chakra jumping though, but he couldn't put his finger on what made swinging so enjoyable. Fun even when scary adults glared at him.

Naruto sensed a calm chakra signature coming from the entrance of the park, along with an all too familiar signature. Naruto's laughter stalled before continuing, if not a little more forced than before.

A pair of black haired children walked in the park, the older one being a shinobi and the younger one being a person he hadn't seen in the past two Timelines. A boy he had grown to call best friend, family, brother. A person who the last he saw of was ripping a hole through his midsection and gutting him like a fish...

“Sasuke...”

…

Uchiha Itachi: 9 th  Year of the 7  th  Timeline, 21  st  Day of the 5  th  Month

Itachi blinked and tilted his head toward his little brother. It was rare for Sasuke to want to play anymore, but Itachi wasn't against it in any way. Sasuke should be a child. No, correction, Sasuke _needed_ to be a child. It was healthy for a child's brain development and helped them in future needs of socializing. Not enough play and people like himself were made.

It was Itachi's day off, and he had promised to spend it with Sasuke. Usually, Sasuke would ask for ninja training which was something Itachi was reluctant to give. It was a pleasant surprise that Sasuke wanted to play instead.

“You wish to go to the park,” Itachi stated more then asked his little black haired brother.

“Yes,” Sasuke said, looking up at Itachi like he was waiting for a scathing remark about his immaturity. A remark that would never to come from Itachi.

“Very well. Shall we go now or later?” Itachi asked, already anticipating his brother's answer.

“Now,” Sasuke decided, looking up at Itachi like he was daring his brother to disagree.

Itachi nodded and called out to their mother that they were going to the park but would be back in time for dinner; he waited for her faint reply. Both Uchiha brothers left the compound.

Sasuke was ridding Itachi's back, happily chattering away to his Nii-san.

“Tou-san said I'll can go to the academy next year!” Sasuke excitedly told him, “I'm going to be the best ninja ever, and then everyone will have to respect us Uchiha.”

“Sasuke,” Itachi intoned, wary of his brother's last words, “what has Tou-san told you about our heritage?”

Itachi posed this question so it could be taken several ways, he needed to figure out if his father had been filling Sasuke's head with biased ideas about clan superiority. It wouldn't do well if Sasuke got a negative attitude toward the village.

“Tou-san was telling me about how the Uchiha are a super strong clan. He says we should be proud to be Uchiha and not to be afraid to show off how strong we are,” Sasuke said, happily ignorant of their father's underlying messages.

Itachi was quiet for a long moment, something Sasuke recognized as his brother's way of thinking up an answer and not just a lull in conversation.

Itachi slowly said, “Tou-san is right, we are one of the more powerful clans. There are, of course, stronger people and clans than us. We should be proud of who we are, however, we should not disrespect others' that may seem weaker. It is part of our duty to respect others and not see ourselves as better. Do you understand, otouto?”

“I think so...” Sasuke replied, slightly confused by what his brother was trying to really say. If it was one thing he knew about Itachi, it was that he said things without ever actually saying them.

They arrived at the park, Sasuke jumping down from his brother's back to lead the way to the playground.

Itachi could hear high-pitched laughter and giggling from the children and idle talking from the adults, although there was an underlying anxiety to the adults' conversations.

Itachi quickly found the reason behind this anxiety, which happened to be a laughing blonde boy playing on the swings. Itachi watched Sasuke run off to the slides before he claimed a tree to lean against. Itachi could see some of the parents relax, it took him a moment to realize it was because of him, he was used to wearing his weapons pouch and headband (as were most older ninja) and had taken to wearing them at all times.

It was one of those weird things that happened when he brought Sasuke to the park. If it was just him passing through the park, they'd tense. If he had Sasuke or some child for a D-rank, they'd relax knowing he'd watch for threats to the children in the park. Parents liked the idea of extra protection for their children from danger, like little jinchuriki.

Itachi scanned the area with his chakra for any foreign signatures, before returning his attention to the laughing blond not far from where his tree stood.

Being under the eyes of hostile gossiping adults was not a fun place to be. Though, Naruto didn't seem to mind or even notice the amount of eyes on him. Which contradicted everything Itachi had gathered on the blond thus far.

As if reading his thoughts, the boy opened those blue eyes and _looked_ at him. So Naruto was simply ignoring the others, strange.

Naruto took the initiative and yelled, “Hey, Shinobi-san!”

Itachi internally winced at the decibels ricocheting in his ears. Naruto was loud, louder then he had ever been when Itachi was this close to him.

“Hello Naruto-kun,” Itachi replied calmly, walking up to the swings like his ears weren't ringing in pain and threatening to bleed out.

Naruto grinned down at Itachi, the smile giving way to genuine happiness. This slight give was the only indicator that anything had been false before. Itachi would store that information away for later.

“Shinobi-san, you on a mission?” asked Naruto, swinging higher.

“My otouto wanted to visit the playground, I am his escort,” Itachi replied, his face collected and not revealing anything. They were in public and he had a distance to maintain.

Itachi turned his head to face the playground, his features softening when he spotted his happy brother. A small smile worked it's way onto his face.

“WHOA!” Naruto yelled before flying off the swing, his arms flailing around before landing face first into the sandy ground. A grumbling, “I'll never get used to that,” was muffled in the ground.

“Are you alright, Naruto-kun?” Itachi asked.

Naruto lifted his head and spat out sand and dirt, “Yup. I'm good, surprised is all.”

Itachi looked around the park, the adults were looking at them before catching his eye and hurriedly adverted their gaze. The children had looked over as well, surprised to find the 'dangerous' kid laying in the dirt. Some winced in sympathy, since they too had fallen off the swings. Other laughed at his expense.

Sasuke had seen his brother talking to the boy playing by himself and decided to meet him too. His brother didn't talk to others very much, let alone voluntarily. He ran up to his brother before slowing down to stand beside him.

Itachi looked down at Sasuke, a smile gracing his lips and said, “Sasuke, this is Uzumaki Naruto.”

Itachi inclined his head toward his brother. “Naruto-kun, this is my otouto, Sasuke.”

Naruto bounded over to Sasuke, grinning. “Hi Shinobi-san's little brother Sasuke!”

Sasuke looked at the ball of raging energy posing as a child blankly.

Naruto puffed out his cheeks indignantly. “It's rude not to respond, Sasuke-teme...”

Sasuke bristled at that and growled, “It's also rude to not refer to someone without a proper suffix, Naruto-baka.”

Naruto glared but it lacked any malice, almost like this little exchange of words was a game. The two began bickering back and forth, trading varied degrees of insults and contradicting words.

Itachi sighed, the introduction wasn't going as well as he had hoped. He had thought about introducing Sasuke to Naruto before, but wasn't sure how to go about it. It seemed fortune smiled down on him when they coincidentally were both at the playground, but Itachi knew their was no such thing as a coincidence. Nor did it seem fortune ever favored him.

Strangely Naruto seemed content with Sasuke's name calling, Itachi was mildly bewildered at Naruto's response to his brother's horrifying behavior toward the blonde. Naruto never did make sense to Itachi, so he was close to dismissing it as another of the boy's quirks, before absently deciding to store it away for later assessment. One piece at a time will eventually finish the puzzle, at least that's what he told himself.

“Shinobi-san,” Naruto said, looking at Itachi, “Why do you have such a weird brother?”

Sasuke shot Naruto a glare, growling, “why you-”

“Granted he's not as weird as me,” Naruto said pointing to himself proudly, “because I am going to be the most unpredictable ninja.”

Sasuke just stared at the blond boy before shaking his head and giving up on the boy.

Itachi looked down at Naruto, uncertain if he was expected to answer his question or not. He settled on saying, “you plan to become a ninja?”

“Not just any ninja, I'm going to be the greatest ninja you've ever seen!” Naruto exclaimed.

Sasuke scoffed at the declaration. “You have to be strong and smart if you want to be a great ninja, baka.”

“I am strong and smart,” Naruto cried indignantly, looking up at Itachi he said, “tell your brother I'm strong and smart.”

Sasuke huffed, “tell the idiot he may become strong, but he's the stupidest kid I've ever met.”

Naruto nodded saying, “That's right, I'm strong- HEY! I'm smart too!”

Itachi sighed, glancing at the sky and said, “we should be heading home as well, Kaa-san wants us home for dinner.”

“You two leaving already?” Naruto asked with a pout.

Itachi inclined his head slightly and Naruto sighed before looking up at him and saying, “goodbye Shinobi-san. See you later Sasuke-teme, I'll prove I'm a better ninja then you at the academy.”

Sasuke grumbled a reply and followed his brother out of the park, leaving a smiling blond. He looked up to Itachi. “Nii-san?”

Itachi looked down at the raven haired boy, silently prompting him to continue.

Sasuke, almost pleadingly, asked, “he's not really going to go to the academy...is he?”

Itachi smiled in amusement. “I imagine he will.”

Sasuke groaned and dropped his head, but a small smirk could be seen under his fallen bangs. Silently thinking over his weird encounter with his new “friend”.

Itachi was also silent, though this was not so strange, but his mind was busily thinking about the little jinchuriki. Itachi had come to think of the blond as something akin to a friend, more like mutually friendly acquaintances bonded over being both outliers. Like they were both specters that had to play their parts in the world without ever actually being part of it. Comrades, perhaps.

…

“I think Sasuke will be a good friend, even if he is a jerk,” Naruto said, and put his hands behind his head, still grinning at the frowning passersby. It was a good 100th Birthday.

…

Omake

(Parenting Beasts)

Otsutsuki Hagoromo: 98 th  Year of the 1  st  Timeline, 10  th  Day of the 8  th  Month

Hagoromo tiredly watched the nine rowdy biju from an elevated rock.

When he was younger, he had briefly thought of having a family of his own. A loving wife and some crazy children, all of whom he'd love. It seemed that the Eternal Being had other plans for him. He didn't have a wife anymore, but he certainly did have some crazy children that he loved. Nine, massive, highly destructive children...and two normal children that were living their own lives.

He looked over to one part of the large cave where three of his little monsters were. Son Goku and Gyuki were being lectured about their hygiene by Saiken.

“I'm telling you, cleanliness is next to godliness! You both smell awful and are absolutely filthy. What are you two? Pigs? Do you know how many _germs_ accumulate over a day on your body? Trillions! We are going to take a bath, with bubbles of course, and you're going to like it!” The large six tailed slug exclaimed, waving her white blueish arms adamantly.

The four tailed ox and the eight tailed octopus sighed in unison.

Hagoromo decided to leave Saiken to it, the last time he had to give those two a bath was nothing short of a disaster. Contrary to Son Goku and Gyuki's hate of water, Kurama got a little to excited in it, and thought it would be fun to make waves with his nine ruby red tails. He hoped there weren't any islands with inhabitants on that side of the ocean. Needless to say, they only use underground springs now. Tsunami are hard to make in springs. Besides, they were hard to hold down long enough to wash.

Glancing to the other side of the cave, he saw Kokuo and Isobu arguing over who was fastest. The five tailed horse was stomping angrily and the three tailed turtle was lashing his tails.

“Horses are obviously faster than turtles; I'm a horse and you're a slow turtle,” Kokuo said.

“But in water not only do turtles trump horses, I am an awesome turtle that can out roll your running any day,” Isobu said.

Eventually it looked like they decided on a race, Chomei was elected the judge. The seven tailed larvae complied easily enough.

Turning his attention to Shukaku and Matatabi, he smiled. They were peacefully relaxing in a patch of sunlight. Shukaku was tapping his foot to a song only he could hear and Matatabi's twin tails tucked under her chin. The cat opened her green eye and called to Kurama, “you can join, us you know.”

Kurama, who had been edging around them for a quite some time, bounded over to the raccoon and cat. He lifted his face to the sun, letting out a pleased rumbling sound.

Shukaku snapped his head up to see the fox spread out his tails, the one tailed raccoon's eyes widened when his brother crouched and spring into the air.

Matatabi's yellow eye shot open, “wait!”

A muffled “oof” from Shukaku and Matatabi who were trapped under the large tails of their brother.

Hagoromo and the rest of the biju winced.

“Kurama!” Shukaku yowled, “move over, your fat tails are squishing me!”

“They are not fat,” Kurama pouted, smacking the raccoon in the face with one, “they are fluffy.”

“Well your fluff is killing me,” Shukaku yelled, “so move your cotton tailed butt before I bite them all off!”

“Hmph,” Kurama lifted his nose to the air indignantly, “I have you know it's hard having this many tails to sit on, something you wouldn't appreciate. Sandy butt.”

“Rabbit eared kitsune!” Shukaku roared, jumping out from the tails.

“Weakling one tailed tanuki!” Kurama bellowed, shoving his face closer to his brother's.

“Lipstick wearing vixen!” Shukaku snarled.

“Ugly tattooed fatso,” Kurama growled, before he paused and his face contorted with horror, “no, Shukaku, I didn't-”

Shukaku's lower lip quivered. “I- I hate you, Kurama!”

Kurama's “sorry” echoed throughout the cavern as Shukaku spun around and ran off to the bedroom.

Matatabi coughed a red hairball, her blue flames eating it away. She glanced at Kurama before running off to Shukaku in an attempt to comfort him.

Saiken shifted her weight before hurriedly ushering her two (stinky) brothers to the hot spring. Son Goku and Gyuki were more then willing to leave the scene. Kokuo and Isobu decided that a bath was a good idea after a race, and Chomei followed them to the spring. Leaving Kurama alone in the large cavern, tails dropping, head hung in shame, and ears dropped with the occasional twitch towards his upset brother.

Hagoromo climbed down from where he was and approached Kurama.

Kurama sunk to the ground and curled his tails around himself. “It was just a little fun.”

Hagoromo sighed, “you know how he feels about the natural chakra and the fat jokes.”

“I know,” whimpered the giant fox, “it was an accident. I didn't think he'd be that angry.”

“Go apologize to him, Kurama,” Hagoromo said, nudging the giant fox kit forward.

“Okay Tou-chyan,” Kurama said before he hesitantly began walking towards the raccoon.

Hagoromo breathed in relief, and laughed a little to himself, “parenting little beast children is not an easy job. Though, it is my privileged.”


	7. Welcome to the Forest of Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: It's almost Christmas and I think I'm starting to lose my mind? Cleaning this fanfiction has been my Christmas break. All those personal projects that have been piling up are being worked on to let my computer rest. This can't be healthy.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Implied/signs of mental trauma, and probable grammatical errors (you try editing four-five days straight without your eyes crossing)...
> 
> Original Ch 9: 01/31/15  
> Parts of Original Ch 10: 2/8/15  
> Update: 12/22/16  
> Omake: 08/16/15

 

Chapter Six

(Welcome to the Forest of Death)

Uzumaki Naruto: 6th Year of the 7th Timeline, 22nd Day of the 8th Month

A clone popped into existence with a little chakra manipulation, hand seals long since forgone. Naruto would have had to have been an idiot to not (at least try) to learn everything without seals that the Wheel Eye of Doom could copy, predict, and throw back tenfold. Shadow clones had been the first, he used it often enough for it to be natural.

Naruto walked around the still clone like a tailor would around a suite being fitted. He hummed thoughtfully, _'stable, crisp around the edges...'_

Naruto jabbed a finger on the clone's forehead, making the clone wince and rub the red spot. _'...solid.'_

“Vocal test,” Naruto commanded.

The clone rolled its eyes and said, “Boss, it worked fine. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know my time limit. I can talk without spewing chakra. Yes, my core is stable. No, I will not start a fight. If I feel like I'm getting unstable I'll do the back up plan. Stop fretting and go to the Forest of Death. That place might be weird, but it's not going to map itself.”

“Fine, wise guy,” Naruto grumbled, feeling the chakra begin to mold into the right pattern, “is your temperature-”

“It's fine!” Exclaimed the exasperated clone, “just shunshin already and leave me in peace. Stupid old man.”

With a worried frown, Naruto disappeared, hands wringing nervously.

The clone shook his head and started sorting through his closet. He really was turning into a paranoid old man if he wasn't one already.

…

Hyakusoku no Koumaru: 145th Year of the 7th Timeline, 22nd Day of the 8th Month

A small, blond haired, orange wearing child burst into existence in possibly one of the most dangerous forests in his world.

The animals of the forest were semi-used to ninja popping out of nowhere. They were even used to humans just wandering into the area. What they weren't used to was a young human child coming into their land without so much as a trace of fear. No shaking, no fear scent, no calling for his mother like any other lost offspring would do and it was definitely not panicking about being away from its den.

A massive centipede and declared King of the Centipedes, Koumaru, had been told by the Tigress that a human had been scented in his part of the forest.

The Tigress Alpha was a fair she-cat, acknowledging the other dominating animals as good allies against the greater threat of humans. Her kind were often hunted by the many poachers from the human colonies. Her deal with the others was that she'd provide information on any human scented in the forest if they returned the favor by warning her stripe if the humans were hunter-humans and not warrior-humans. It was a fair trade since the tigers had a stronger sense of smell to provide ample warning and could let the other animals investigate.

Koumaru moved silently until he found the stray human. He was surprised to find the human barely passed its larvae stage. He sighed, as best a centipede could sigh, and carefully approached the larvae. As the dominant one of his species, it was his duty to confront the human larvae. His human speech was rusty and not well remembered since it was a long time since he learned it. Humans were too stupid to learn other languages and they didn't usually have any kind words for his colony.

“Larvae,” said the centipede, voice gravely and awkward, “What purpose? Be in forest?”

The bright little human blinked its strange ugly eyes up at the great centipede. All mammals seemed to have had the misfortune of possessing such ugly features; such as their unfortunately shaped eyes, lack of legs, and weak soft flesh growing outside their skeletons. Unnatural and unsightly.

“Are you a summon?” asked the soft shelled human larvae.

The centipede grumbled to himself, berating himself for not paying attention in his human language lessons. He always told himself that it wouldn't matter in the future. One rarely had to talk to the humans, since one could usually tell if it was a threat to them or not. Besides, centipedes weren't built for human sounds. Leave that to the birds and apes, their vocal cords worked similarly to the humans' so why bother a centipede with needless communication between such a strange and ugly species?

“What...summon?” Koumaru haltingly asked before deciding to give up with the human talk and said, “stay, larvae. Get bird-king.”

The centipede went off in search for the Emperor Bird.

Koumaru hadn't thought he'd have to talk to the human when he first heard of its presence, but he also didn't expect it to be a larvae. It was a common known fact that every animal protected their young in some shape or form. From either raising it or making sure they hatch in an appropriate environment. Humans, as strange and foolish as they were, were very protective of their young. Unless the human was defective and didn't care for the young. Humans were odd like that. However, when you killed one of their own, let alone a young one, they became very angry. Much like ants become when you disturb them. Angry humans were a pain to deal with, so it was best not to kill one of their young. It was made an unspoken law years back to not kill their larvae since the humans reacted so violently. Genocide was not in the favor of any species.

“Emperor Bird,” called out the centipede in common tongue, “ a human has entered my domain. I require your understanding of the human language.”

“And why, oh Great and Powerful Ugly One, must it be I?” the Emperor Bird lamented from a high branch. His dark blue and purple feathers shimmered in the low light.

Koumaru opted to not comment on the looks; as far as he was concerned, the birds were just as (if not more so) ugly than the humans. It was also better not to encourage the pompous feathered thing. He replied, “is it, or is it not, you who brag of their superior knowledge of all languages?”

“It is I,” confirmed the bird, running a beak through it's feathers in disinterest, “but, alas, I do not wish to meet a pesky human. Why do you not just eat the featherless horror?”

“You recognize the unspoken law to which we are to not touch the humans' young,” Koumaru said, shifting his long body to a more comfortable position.

“Ah!” the bird exclaimed in surprise, looking up from his grooming. “A hatchling is it? Most peculiar, humans don't tend to let their hatchlings outside the nest.”

“I believe it to be lost,” said the centipede, “I know not if my human words were understandable to the larvae.”

“A lost hatchling! How stupid the humans must be to lose a hatchling. I have yet to see a hatchling from the humans, and for good reason as well. However, I should like to see what their young look like, hopefully not as ugly as your own.”

“You will come?” asked the centipede, temper flaring. The bird got on his nerves at times.

“Indeed, oh Mighty and Hideous One, I shall follow you to the human hatchling. We shall see what it wants and what brought it to our territory,” the bird replied before lifting off the branch to hover over the giant centipede.

The centipede scuttled down the tree and led the bird to the human child.

…

Naruto had done a shunshin to the Forest of Death and went about mapping the eastern section of the forest when he got the greatest heart attack inducing surprise of his seventh life.

“Larvae!” boomed a voice like wood and rocks, as a truly _massive_ centipede fell from a branch to land in front of him. “What purpose? Be in forest?”

Naruto blinked in shock; he's seen weirder things, sure, but a talking centipede the height of a two story building and as long as at least a block wasn't exactly an everyday thing even in his strange life. Although giant talking toads weren't too horribly different. Perhaps the centipede was a summon, though he never heard of a centipede summoning contract.

“Are you a summon?” Naruto asked, he wondered if he could also have a centipede summoning contract along with the toads. It would be interesting to watch.

The giant centipede seemed confused by the question. How he could read a giant arthropod's emotions were questionable. The skill was probably tied to his ability to understand “Uchiha” and read “Masked Jounin”.

“What...summon?” the centipede asked, it made a few sounds to itself before saying, “stay, larvae. Get bird-king.”

The giant centipede scuttled away to find the “bird-king”. Naruto stood their uncertainty. He had never gone in the forest as such a young kid. However, he'd gone plenty of times as an adult and an older child. Not once had he heard of a talking beast in training ground forty four.

He noticed a few smaller, but still around the size of horses, centipedes surround the area he was in. He had a feeling he was about to learn more about the Forest of Death than he intended.

“Larvae,” the centipede said as he crawled up to him, “meet, bird-king.”

The “bird-king” was at least a good five meters tall. It cocked its head sideways to look down at Naruto with an intelligent spring green eye.

“Hi?” Naruto greeted slightly intimidated, if the two beasts wanted to fight, he might as well say goodbye to the seventh Timeline.

“Hatchling with bright loose plumes, my incompetent friend and I,” The bird struck a pose. “The Fabulous Emperor Bird of Paradise, wish to know why a small thing, such as yourself, is wandering in our forest unaccompanied.”

Naruto blinked up at the large animals. “Uh...”

The bird tilted his head, like he was listening and waiting for an answer, with the promise of a sound pecking if Naruto answered wrong.

Naruto wasn't sure how well the bird knew how to talk, since the centipede's speech was halting. He doubted that the bird understood mapping, perhaps scouting? Did birds scout? However, scouting would imply looking for specific things, which he wasn't.

“I'm sight seeing,” he decided to answer, since that was the best he could think of how to explain it to the bird.

“You are an odd hatchling,” the bird decided, “do you plan on harming the animals while here?”

“No,” Naruto answered, slightly confused.

“Good, then you are free to wander under these conditions,” the bird said before pulling a scroll like thing out from what looked like an old leg pouch, “you humans may not be very pretty, but you make up for that by having half a bird's mind. A human-warrior was carrying a skyview of our forest, what you call...a map? This is a copied and edited version of what the human-warrior had. The birds have changed a few things, such as locations, and added a few things, like territory borders. “Sight-seeing” is such a strange word, and I admit I do not understand the precise meaning of the word. Though, I suggest looking at the areas marked in red, they have food that you might like. Such as berries, nuts, and fruits; please refrain from destroying these areas. The blue areas are good places for fishing, you may eat the fish. Do not eat the birds-”

The centipede made a few strange noises before the bird continued, “ and don't eat the centipedes. Don't leave hunter-human's animal traps. I suggest not going into Tigress's territory, she is rather testy with your species' hunter-humans. If you become a hunter-human you will no longer be welcomed to the forest and killed on sight.”

“No worries, I'm gonna be a ninja! As long as no one attacks me first, I won't harm them,” Naruto exclaimed, pointing to himself. He _really_ didn't want to be attacked by a forest's worth of animals.

“Ninja? Is that what human-warriors are called in your flock?” asked the bird.

“Ninja, shinobi, kunoichi, samurai, nukenin, jounin, chunin, genin, warrior, brawler, and other things,” Naruto replied.

“...I think I shall stick with human-warrior. You humans complicate things,” the bird said.

“Well I'm going to be the greatest human-warrior,” Naruto declared, “and help save the world from an evil villain that wants to destroy everything.”

“Noble goal,” the bird said, “on behalf of the birds, I wish you well. In which case, if this “villain”, whatever that might be, threatens us we shall offer our allegiance. As long as you do not betray us, we shall not betray you.”

The centipede then said, “no harm centipede. Centipede no harm you. Allies with bird, allies with centipede.”

Naruto nodded, deciding to figure out what was actually just given to him later.

The two mammoth sized animals then left, one taking to the sky and the other climbing a tree. The smaller centipedes scuttled away from the area, leaving a very quiet Naruto behind. Naruto stood there for a long time before deciding he's need to visit the library as soon as his solid henge held longer then thirty minutes. The forty forth training ground had more to it then met the eye.

Naruto looked down to the “skyview” map the bird had given him. “Well, what do you know. It mapped itself.”

…

The two hour old clone was having the time of his life. So maybe most wouldn't call being chased by angry chunin fun, but pranking said angry chunin sure was.

“Hahaha! You slow pokes are gonna have to become faster if you wanna catch me!” yelled the clone gleefully, dodging people as he ran though the streets.

“You little punk!” screamed one of the angry chunin, “get back here so I can beat some respect into you!”

“Respect?” laughed the Naruto clone, “who'd respect a ninja that had to _beat_ it into someone, let along one that falls asleep on the job?”

The chunin growled lowly, one of his coworkers vowing to never fall asleep on guard duty again.

“As far as you're concerned, I think you slackers deserved it,” jeered the clone.

One of the chunin absently scratched at the super glued mafia boss styled mustache glued to his upper lip. All three had a mustache, marker eyelashes, and the word “lazy-nin” stamped on their foreheads.

Yes, today was a good day for the Naruto clone.

The clone felt the boss shunshin back home, he grinned. It was fun while it lasted. He took a sharp turn and jumped into a trash bin, disappearing with a small amount of smoke.

The chunin caught up to where they saw the boy jump and opened the trash bin. Only to find nothing but rotting garbage.

One of the chunin turned to his partner, twisting his mustache between two fingers. “Do you think I should shave?”

The chunin with a yakuza like pompadour face palmed.

…

Sarutobi Hiruzen: 62nd Year of the 7th Timeline, 22nd Day of the 8th Month

Hiruzen sighed as the shame faced chunin turned in his report. Naruto certainly knew how to cause trouble for his poor old self, something he hoped to leave behind when a certain Umino retired as a prankster.

“I'll see to it that he's properly punished,” he told the man in front of him.

The chunin bowed and left the room, mustache and all.

Once he was sure the chunin was out of hearing range he let himself laugh a bit. He had been getting reports of those chunin sleeping on the job. Maybe it would help them realize that what they were doing was dangerous to the village and to themselves.

At least Naruto's pranks were harmless, and had yet to cause any extensive property damage.

A knock on his door and a bid to enter revealed his secretary.

She bowed and said, “it seems Shimura-sama wishes an audience with you.”

Hiruzen groaned and lit his pipe. “Fine, let him in. It's not like I'm doing anything _important_.”

She smiled, knowing how the elder seemed to enjoy taking up most of Hiruzen's work time with blather about the village. Hiruzen, she knew, sent a clone more often then not to go through a majority of his paperwork. She also knew that her hokage was in the middle of a _large_ and _important_ pile of papers. Just the kind the elder would love to get his hands on. All that would be impossible to get with a certain shadow clone working on it. As the saying went, information is power or simply blackmail.

Hiruzen was less amused than his secretary, predicting a long and drawn out conversation about civil unrest and lost glory for ending a war. Between mischievous pranks and war mongering, poor Hiruzen never seemed to have enough time to do his recreational reading.

…

Mitarashi Anko: 18th Year of the 7th Timeline, 22nd Day of the 8th Month

Anko was jumping through the canopy of training ground forty four when she was nearly plowed over by a stampede of legs. Well, more like a single man-eating monstrous centipede. Eh, details don't matter so much when you life is threatened by hundreds of feet.

Anko, being a kunoichi, was fast enough to spring away before becoming a human version of her namesake.

She recognized the beast as the oldest and strongest of the centipedes. As weird as it probably was to recognize an animal like that, she had been in the forest long enough to become part of its complex social order. Needless to say, it was also hard to forget such a giant creature. Besides, she made it her business to know everything there was to know about the old forest, since she spent so much time in the area.

She was also probably one of the few humans that knew that the animals in the forest had intelligent minds. She wasn't completely sure for a long time if it was just an illusion or if she had been hallucinating, because what animal outside of summons could talk? She learned that not all the animals of the forest could, and it was only the very oldest of the intelligent species that could.

_That_ had taken some library digging, like boring back of the library where they keep the origins of chakra and dull pre-chakra related history digging. Dull, boring, and _dusty._ What _sane_ (let alone insane) ninja would willingly go back there? Apparently herself, because where else would they keep the history of the “Forest of Death”?

Anko probably knew more about the forest than most. She wasn't afraid to admit that. Though one of the reasons she was so familiar with it was because of her ex-mentor, Orochimaru. That was something she wasn't so likely to admit. Orochimaru had a weird love of the forest; frankly she didn't want to know why he was so interested in it, let alone why he let a genin team into that forest. She was pretty sure his excuse about “life and death situations built character” wasn't really accurate.

Her mentor was insane, this she now knew. She was pretty sure it wasn't always like that. Children had a sense for when something was wrong with a person, and maybe she got so used to his little strange ways that she slowly just got used to strange things in general. Maybe it was like when you're gaining an immunity to a poison. You take a little at a time before you body builds up resistance to it, then you take a little more and build resistance, then a little more, and a little more, and a little more, until before you know it you can't be poisoned by it at all. You can't even tell it's in your system.

That was probably why his teammates couldn't tell, he was a little different and they got used to it. He got a little stranger, and they got used to it. Then he got even more weird, and they brushed it off as another one of Orochimaru's strange things. They got used to it until, before they knew it, he was rip roaring crazy and experimenting on children.

She hated it. She hated what he did. She hated that he hurt her. She felt so _angry_. With herself for not seeing his craziness, and with him for being crazy. Sometimes she would wonder if he even was once a good person. Nobody is born crazy, right? Then she would shake herself and say, _“no, Anko, he was never a good person. He never actually cared for you, because he's hardly human. Just a snake in a human skin.”_

She shook her head and continued leaping through the trees. She had felt a spike of chakra in the area and wanted to make sure the ninja wasn't an enemy. But after nearly being run over by the giant centipede she doubted the person was even alive. So now she was bounding towards the probable remains to see who had died and to later inform the family if the ninja was from Konoha. If the ninja wasn't, then she'd bring its remains to the Intelligence division of Konoha.

To her surprise, the area with the chakra spike was clear. No sign of a person outside of excess chakra, no sign of a battle, and definitely no blood. It couldn't have been another animal, since the area smelled strongly of human.

Anko frowned; the only reason why the giant centipede would leave a human was if they made a pact, were used to the human and knew it was no threat to them (like her), or were such a huge threat that immediate retreat was forest wide. She had no knowledge of the first ever being made. No one was willing to go so often to the Forest of Death, like her, with the exception of poachers. Except, poachers had a short life expectancy for their idiocy. And as far as a massive threat, well, unless the person was a Kage or one of the Sannin, it was unlikely. She was pretty sure no Kage had time to stop in at the forest, Tsunade and Jiraiya had no reason, and the place didn't reek of the snake.

She thought for a moment, what other powerful people were there? A jinchuriki perhaps, but they rarely left their villages unless in war. Her own jinchuriki was a kid and wasn't allowed to leave the walls of the village. So it was unlikely, but not completely unfounded. Further investigation would be needed.

After all, she didn't need to be the one to raise the alarm on possibly friendly ninja. She was under enough suspicion as it were.

…

Uchiha Itachi: 11th Year of the 7th Timeline, 30th Day of the 10th Month

Itachi bowed to his father, the current clan head Uchiha Fugaku, and exited the room.

He quietly slid the shoji shut after him. He released the pent up air he unconsciously held and walked away. He felt heavy; this strange way of thinking his father seemed to have gotten into, that his clan had gotten into, was just leading down a path of hate and hurt. He could only do so much as a “pipeline” between the two parties.

Itachi strode down the hall until he got to his room. He needed to think. His options were limited greatly by the pressures from others.

On one hand he had his family. A loving mother, a protective father, and an innocent baby brother he _had_ to protect. He had cousins, aunts, uncles, and ...family.

He also had a village counting on him to protect it, and his Hokage was in danger from his family. He had comrades, teachers, allies, people who always had his back.

Itachi was a loyal shinobi, he felt that strong sense of duty to protect his village. A village that had protected his family. His family, who were now planning on getting rid of it like it was worth nothing.

Taking over the village would bring nothing but death and angry revenge from those who would lose their families from such a thing as overthrowing the Hokage. His father and the clan's council of elders had faulty ideals when it came to power and plans. Plans on over throwing a Hokage that wanted peace and was fair in judgment was hardly a good idea.

The elders and his father let their anger blind them, anger from the prejudice, the suspicious, and paranoid people of Konoha. They wanted to start more wars, more death.

There was already too much death.

Too many lost lives.

Too much spilled blood...

Too much _red_.

He couldn't stand for what they wanted to do. He didn't want to watch his little brother growing up in a war. A war within their own village none the less. He had promised to keep Sasuke safe, to never let Sasuke get hurt. But he couldn't just turn on his family.

_'Couldn't or wouldn't?'_

Itachi clenched his small scarred fists and paced his room a few times before he settled on his bed. His little brother. His brother was innocent, he didn't know the cruelty of the world. His brother wasn't involved with what the clan was planning. So why did Sasuke have to be caught in the crossfire of this?

Itachi could protect him. He could protect his precious little brother. Itachi would protect him just like he always had. He has protected him from learning too soon of the horrors of the world they lived in. He has protected Sasuke from their father's bad forms of attention. He would protect him from this.

Sasuke desperately wanted what Itachi had. He wanted to be loved like Itachi was loved by their father. Itachi knew this, he knew it angered Sasuke that their father didn't pay much attention to him. However, Itachi couldn't help but be thankful it was that way.

Their father's way of giving them attention was in the form of teaching them to be stronger and more powerful. Powerful enough to kill without hesitance and willing to torture others for one's own gain. _To survive_.

That was too heavy for a child. It was too dangerous for their...self. He didn't want Sasuke's hands to become dirtied like his were. His father would ruin Sasuke and make him look like Itachi. Itachi didn't want his little brother to become like him. Dirty and _covered in red, red that_ _ **never**_ _came off_.

A soft knocking on his door brought his full attention back to the world. A chubby soft hand carefully opened the door a crack, revealing a big black eye that peeked inside.

There were few things Itachi found himself caring about anymore. His brother, his family, his village, and peace. But with how both his clan and village were turning on each other, he couldn't choose one over the other. Which was why his need for peace and love for his brother would ultimately make his decision when he decided which side he would stand on.

…

Uchiha Sasuke: 6th Year of the 7th Timeline, 30th Day of the 10th Month

Sasuke had seen Itachi leave their father's office, probably talking about how _awesome_ Itachi was for getting into ANBU (which apparently was some super awesome ninja group). He had wanted to surprise his brother with his awesome sneaking skills (that he had just learned in the academy), but he wasn't sure how to open a door _sneakily._

After a short mental debate, Sasuke decided he'd _prove_ how sneaky he was later...when he learned how to open a door like a ninja. Instead, he could ask his brother some other ninja things so he could graduate fast too.

Hesitantly he raised his fist before lowering it. Itachi _almost never_ wanted to teach him ninja things. Did his brother think he was going to be a bad ninja, like his dad did? No, Itachi didn't think that. Itachi would have told Sasuke if he thought he would make a bad ninja. Itachi was smart, so he would've known. Besides, Sasuke was on the top of the class, of _course_ he'd be a good ninja.

Confidence somewhat back he knocked. He still didn't know if Itachi would teach him something. Maybe his brother had already hopped out the window, he'd seen him do that before.

Opening the door a crack, just to make sure his brother was inside, Sasuke peered through the crack.

Itachi was sitting on his bed and smiling at him, head tilted, inviting him in.

The younger boy straightened, smiled happily, and bounded into the room.

“Sasuke,” Itachi greeted.

“Nii-san, you're back early,” Sasuke said happily, as he scuffled to sit next to his older brother.

“How was your day?” Itachi asked, posture relaxing. Tired dark eyes softened when he looked down at his younger sibling. Itachi always looked tired now, but Sasuke thought it was probably just because of how _long_ Itachi read those boring books. Watching his brother read that much made Sasuke's own eye ache in sympathy.

“It was good. Kaa-chan took me shopping for vegetables. I got tomatoes. And I've been practicing with my kunai. I'm the best in my class, but I'm not as good as you. Tou-san won't help me,” Sasuke said, glancing up at his brother's form the corner of his eye.

Sasuke hoped that Itachi would offer to help him. Itachi never taught him. He didn't know why Itachi seemed to not like the idea of teaching him how to be a good ninja like he was. Maybe Itachi just didn't want to tell him he was too weak...

Itachi was silent for a few moments before he said, “I'll help you, but not right now.”

Sasuke nodded dejectedly, he knew Itachi didn't have a lot of time because he was a ninja. But he doubted that Itachi would ever hold his promise to help him.

It would always be “Maybe next time”, “Some other time”, or “Not right now, Sasuke”.

It was never “Sure, we have some time before dinner starts”, “Show me what you can do”, or “Sasuke, I've got this technique I want to teach you”.

Sasuke knew Itachi cared for him, more than his father ever did. His father never had time to talk with him; not like he did with Itachi, who would be in their father's study for hours.

Only his mom, Shisui-nii, and Nii-san had time for him. His father didn't love him. Not like he did Itachi.

That thought made a part of his chest ache. _'Why doesn't Tou-san love me too?'_

…

Omake

(Parent Counseling)

“We have a new parent joining us today,” the councilor said, she was a nice young woman.

“Ahem, not a _new_ parent...I have two older children, but it's my younger children that...ah,” Hagoromo trailed off.

The woman smiled along with the other parents. The woman cleared her throat and said, “every child is different and with these differences comes different challenges we have to face as parents.”

The other parents nodded and murmured in agreement.

She turned to Hagoromo and said, “why don't you introduce yourself and tell us about your home life; with what your comfortable of sharing, of course.”

“Hello,” Hagoromo greeted, turning to the others, “my name is Otsutsuki Hagoromo and I'm a single parent of eleven children-”

A few jaws dropped and eyes widened.

“-my eldest two already moved out, but the other nine were all born the same day and are still too young to live on their own.”

More jaws dropped along with the widened eyes. Nine children born on the same day? The poor mother.

“But generally they get along-” Hagoromo was cut off by Ashura.

“Tousan!” Ashura burst through the door in a mad panic.

Hagoromo turned in concern, he had left Indra and Ashura to babysit and told them if it was an emergency to come get him.

“Ashura? What happened?” Hagoromo asked, countless things that could possibly go wrong rushed through his head. The kids could have gotten into his sake. They could be playing “chakra tag”. Someone could have bitten Shukaku's tail off again. Their house could have been attacked.

“They're playing ball inside the house again!” Ashura exclaimed in dismay, “they won't stop even though we told them to.”

Hagoromo was aghast, it was far worse than he had anticipated. “Has anything blown up yet?”

The other parents were quiet and probably in shock at the violent reaction to such a childish game. But startled when their new member mentioned explosives.

“Well, they took out the south wall...”

Hagoromo plastered a smile on his face and said to the parents, “I'll be at the next meeting.”

The son and father ran out the door like the Hound of Baskerville was nipping at their heels.

-one week later-

Hagoromo bowed to his fellow parents, a patch of burnt hair on the top of his head drew their attention, before he continued his introduction. “Where was I? Ah, my wife is deceased, so parenting and dividing my attention amongst my children can be difficult. Without a female influence I'm not sure how they'll turn out...don't get me wrong! Women can be tough too and some men are cut out to be the domestics of the family. But my wife had a nature that I can't imitate.” As Hagoromo spoke he was getting increasingly stressed sounding. “I worry that my daughters will suffer the heaviest from not having the nurturing ways of my late wife. But I think they will grow up to be able to protect themselves, I know my youngest daughter certainly will. My sons often get competitive and aren't too keen of keeping peace within the household.-”

Once again the father of eleven was interrupted by a son at the door, this time it was Indra.

Hagoromo's face drew into a tight frown that spoke of dread.

“...Matabi-chan set the graveyard on fire...again,” Indra intoned nonchalantly like it was a common day occurrence. Which it probably was for the odd family.

Hagoromo made a sad tearful face that disturbingly resembled a distant future green beast. “Why can't she leave the dead in peace?”

“She wanted to learn how to control corpses,” Indra said, eyeing the room's interior with disinterest. “Something about an old cat myth...”

Hagoromo sighed and turned to his fellow parents. “I'll be at the next meeting.”

He and Indra left quickly, they weren't so frantic since they knew the cat couldn't technically kill anyone with her destructive power.

-one week later-

Hagoromo eyed the door for a moment, then eyed the wary adults in the room. With a deep intake he sped up his introduction. “One of my children has a superiority complex and a horrible temper, another has a semi-severe case of OCD but sweet at heart, another has a strange obsession over the dead, one has self image issues, and don't get me started on how picky some are over food. Others will eat whatever is put in front of them... Space is limited and I'm doing the best I can, but I 'm an old man.”

Everyone looked at him with nervous eyes, uncertain what to do with the man that had a now completely bald and burnt head. His once red and graying beard was singed black, he occasionally shook sand out his kimono, seeming quite used to the grit

Continuing with a single breath. “One never goes to sleep, one plays with acid, one likes blasting music throughout the house in the wee hours of the morning, one bowls over his siblings when he's frustrated, they race indoors, they slap and burn each other, they bite one another, and I swear someone is stalking my home. I personally think it's my half brother.”

Everyone was silent and turned to the door expectantly.

Then Hagoromo looked back at them and smiled pleasantly. “Other than that, I have a normal family, why don't you tell me about yourselves?”

There was a knock at the door and Hagoromo sighed. “I'll be back next-”

“Look Touchyan, I tuned into a ningen,” a young voice proclaimed happily from the threshold of the door. A young boy with a shock of bright red hair no more than six gave a toothy grin, showing off his incisors, his eyes were slitted red, his fox ears twitched excitedly, and his _nine fluffy red tails_ waved happily.

The parents deadpanned and looked at Hagoromo, whose face was covered by his hands. “Kurama...where are your siblings?”

“Ah.” The boy's tails stilled. “I think Indra-kei is in Shukaku's sandcastle's dungeon.”

The parents in the room really hoped the young man wasn't actually trapped in a sandcastle. But with what they've heard thus far, they wouldn't be surprised.

Hagoromo massaged his temples. “Why is Indra in the sand dungeon this time?”

“He wanted Shukaku to clean his room,” Kurama said matter-of-factly.

Hagoromo groaned. “Then, where is Ashura?”

“Uh...” Kurama shuffled nervously, his snout began lengthen as his concentration lessened on his transformation.

“Kurama,” Hagoromo said in a warning tone.

Kurama began to get larger and whiskers popped out of his cheeks. “...uhhh...”

“Ashura-nii is looking for Kurama-nii and sent me to get you,” a high pitched voice squeaked, it was a little girl with white hair (but seemed to have a blueish tint), and whose skin seemed rather slimy.

“Ah, Saiken, would you be a dear and bring your wayward brother home?” Hagoromo said gently, Saiken was perhaps the most energetic child he had, but she was a sweet girl.

A blush covered her face. “I sorta got lost...”

Hagoromo sighed. “I'll be back next week...come along Kurama, Saiken. Oh, and Kurama, you're grounded.”

Kurama pouted.

The parents shuffled around the room, before one said, “...his kids are cute?”

No one denied nor agreed to the questioned statement.

 


	8. (Names, Compartmentalizing, and Apple Cider)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: For those that read this story before The Great Revision, you might notice that the order of events have changed a bit. Not enough to make a difference, but flow does improve. This chapter and the next are heavily revised, shorter, clearer, etc.  
> Also, I like names. I like looking up a name's origin and meaning. It's a hobby I've had since I was...er...six? Names used in this chapter and their meanings will be below the chapter's Omake.  
> Interestingly, my actual name has two meanings. “Voice like soft music” and “Guardian”, while my voice is rather soft...it certainly isn't like music. Tell me below (in comments/review) what your name means and how you feel about it. (I'd ask for your name and look it up myself if you didn't know what it meant, but that would be borderline weird and highly frowned upon by the internet community. If you want to know what your cats', dogs', or goats' names means then I will accept.)
> 
> Chapter Warnings: ...it's confusing? Nothing really warning worthy.
> 
> Original Ch 11: 02/15/15  
> Original Ch 12: 02/22/15  
> Update: 03/02/17  
> Omake: 09/18/15

Chapter Seven

(Names, Compartmentalizing, and Apple Cider)

 

_Black petals fell from the sky, the remnants of what was lost._

_Wafts of smoke spread ash across the lonesome landscape._

_The blackened skeletons of what were once great trees creaked in the stiflingly hot air._

_The gentle breeze brought the scent of destruction and burned flesh from the ruins at the base of a cliff side._

_There was no sound._

_Just the silence and of the ghosts of what was once known as Konohagakure._

…

Uzumaki Naruto: 6th Year of the 7th Timeline, 13th Day of the 9th Month

“Watch it, brat,” growled a frustrated young Uchiha, as he and his teammates shoved passed Naruto, nearly knocking his grocery bag out of his hands.

Naruto let himself stumble but “caught” himself in time to frown at the retreating genin team. An amused smirk slowly replaced his frown when he saw that they were chasing after the infamous “Demon of the Alleys”, Tora. His snickered when he heard the telltale yowl from Tora and pained yelp from the rude Uchiha boy.

For a clan with such close ties to a cat city, one would think that the Uchiha would be extraordinarily good with felines. Sadly, it was merely the Uchiha's likeness in personality to cats that let such good relations stand. Cats answered to no one but themselves unless they deigned to do so, and the Uchiha were much the same.

Sasuke was scratched up almost as much as Naruto was by the end of The Tora Missions.

Sasuke, through strange and unlikely luck, had experience with chasing cats and could predict their movements with uncanny skill. Seeing as this was Itachi's doing, what with the “collect all the paw prints” mission he set his brother on, Naruto had thanked the man profusely.

Sasuke, however, did not know how to hold a cat.

A twist here. A scratch there. A powerful kick down and the cat was free.

Sasuke was a person Naruto had seen as a brother since the first timeline. The last time Naruto had seen him was from the boughs of a tree watching Sasuke become a chunin. His black haired best friend was surrounded by family and congratulatory gifts.

Naruto never got to interact with Sasuke while he was in Root, he never got to interact with anyone at that time other than his fellow nenin. The last time that he did talk with Sasuke was when he was being stabbed by him, but that seemed to be more Orochimaru and his seal than Sasuke.

Now, the cursed seal of heaven, _that_ was a problem.

Naruto rather not go through the fourth timeline again; honestly, being killed by a Sasuke going through a psychotic break was bad enough the one time. That being said, Naruto was determined to prevent any possibility of it happening again.

Naruto knew how to remove the seals, but it took a lot out of both him and the sealed. Not to mention, there was always the chance that he wouldn't get the chance to unseal them.

The fastest way to get rid of that particular threat would be to get rid of Orochimaru, or to prevent him from becoming a threat. Sadly, that wasn't much of an option.

Naruto would have to do something about Anko's seal. How he would get her to agree to let a _child_ work with her seal would be an interesting experience. He would also need to work on his chakra control, which were woefully out of whack.

Sasuke's seal was different from Anko's, more complete really. However, because it was complete, removing Sasuke's was less dangerous than poor Anko's. Anko ran the risk of her chakra coils being burned out if the unsealing was done wrong.

Really, Naruto needed a place to work with his chakra. The only problem was, any half decent sensor ninja would be able to feel his chakra when he started using jutsu that was more than an E-Rank and weren't second nature to him like the kage bunshin. The problems that could arise from that were numerous. Danzo was a primary concern in that regard.

He needed a place to train without sensors knocking on his door. He needed a place to plan and work on his seals without nosy ANBU looking through his windows. A place to hide his growing stash of sensitive information that wouldn't be found or damaged. A place no one visited anymore.

And Naruto knew just the place.

Changing direction, Naruto ducked into a back alleyway and a clone popped into existence already in a basic henge. Naruto walked around the “old man” checking for any blurriness or holes in the not quite illusion.

He had decided that his primary henge would be his solid and true transformation type; which he discovered in the first Timeline when creating his Oiroke no Jutsu. He had outgrown the use of that jutsu by the time he was married, but he found its basic properties effective.

The original henge, which everyone learned in the academy, was his secondary type that he rarely used. Any ninja worth their weight in salt knew how to see past a henge, especially within their own village. Yet he came across the occasional jounin that honestly couldn't tell. It was usually around the time he was an older kid or young teenager that this was most common. Laziness and rusty skills were something all to familiar in peace times.

Naruto nodded to his clone and handed him a small wad of money, “You know what to get.”

The clone nodded before sedately walked out of the alley with a slight limp in his right leg and the sound of a well loved cane clacking away.

A cautious glance around the corner and Naruto too exited the alley, groceries in hand. He could put the food away when he got home; it wasn't like any of it was perishable anyway.

A shunshin later and our time traveling hero disappeared.

…

Naruto looked at the concealed door with a mix of trepidation and longing.

It was his father's sealing room, or more specifically, the Uzumaki-Namimaze sealing room.

Sealing rooms were generally built for creating delicate seals and seal experimentation. There were government owned buildings, of course, for the less wealthy.

The Uzumaki, however, were both wealthy and owned a fair amount of land along with being sealing experts. His mother had inherited all the Konoha holdings for the Uzumaki clan and his father had shared in that when she married him. Having more than she could possibly use on her own, she had gifted one specifically to Minato. Most of the buildings had been demolished when the Kyuubi attacked and the rest were unknown to those outside the clan.

Most of these underground buildings were in disrepair, especially after Nagato's attack, but this one in particular seemed to survive no matter the circumstances. Perhaps because it was a good three league from the actual village. It was for the more...destructive seals.

With a few hesitant fluxes in chakra and a drop of blood, he was keyed in and could walk into his father's “workshop”. He cracked the door open and waved the cloud dust out of his face.

Naruto walked into dark room and lit his hand up like a blue glow stick. Naruto made four more clones pop into existence and light up their own hands. With that done he let his hand fade back to normal and explored the room a bit. It was bigger then he remembered, perhaps a good ten cubic meters.

Ash covered the floor from old tags and the walls were stained with black marks from some failed experiments.

The sound of his clone approaching from the the outside made him turn.

The clone was carrying sealing supplies and a bag of cleaning supplies while brandishing a broom like a scepter.

Two more clones puffed into existence and took the broom and bag before making quick work of the place. They started in a corner and moved out toward the door. The old man clone gave the original Naruto the sealing supplies and disappeared with a small poof.

Naruto blinked away the new set of memories and went to the clean corner with his food in hand, making himself as comfortable as he could. Two of the glow-hand clones walked outside and became squirrels. They would watch out for anything that warranted the door to be closed. One would dispel to alert the main Naruto and the other would dispel when the coast was clear.

Naruto pulled out some of the food and drinks he had bought. Snacking on a granola bar and a small thing of apple cider, he mused about the best way to organize what he needed to do in the future. While most of the time, in combat especially, it was important to think on the fly; Naruto found that if he didn't actively sort through his memories of times before, he'd have a hard time remembering relevant information.

First, he would have to reopen some of those memories. Refresh himself, so to speak. For that to happen he would have to once again go into his mindscape.

Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes and let himself slip into his mind.

…

Loud snoring echoed down the sewers of Naruto's mind. Naruto smiled at the occasional gekker from his monster fox.

Naruto passed sleeping the beast and headed towards his memories. Slowly manipulating his surroundings to look like tidy a fox burrow, he thought it was appropriate. Bypassing the seven memory chambers and entered the time council's room.

He was surprised to find his other selves already sitting in their chairs.

They all turned to look at him, which would have been unnerving if he didn't already know what they were all thinking. Since they were basically him.

Naruto walked over to his chair and sat down, empty scrolls and full ink bottles were scattered across the long table. Remnants of plans, probably.

The sickly Naruto dressed as a Ne-nin was the first to speak. _“Welcome back.”_

The Naruto who had been killed by Orochimaru rolled his eyes and grumbled, _“it's not like he left. You can't leave your own mind.”_

“ _Unless you're a Yamanaka,”_ the fourth Naruto commented, earning a glare from the twelve year old.

The oldest looking Naruto sighed and rubbed his temple. _“We don't have time for this. What we need to do it plan, like he is here to do. So, Naruto, any ideas?”_

All the Narutos looked at each other then at their oldest form, in sync they asked, _“which one were you talking to?”_

The twenty three year old Naruto grimaced. _“I was addressing the current Naruto. Though, I think it would be best if we, the personifications, chose different names. If only to make things easier.”_

There were nods of agreement; even if it ended up making them sound slightly insane, at least it was only in their head.

The six year old raised his hand.

The twenty-three year old pointed to the six year old. _“Yes, Naruto?”_

The most recently failed timeline Naruto grinned and asked, _“do we get to choose our own names?”_

The current Naruto nodded his approval, _“as long as they aren't stupid names and the others agree that it's a good name.”_

The original Naruto from the first Timeline stood up. _“I guess I'll go first.”_

“ _Why do you get to go first?”_ grumped the twelve year old Naruto.

The sickly Naruto coughed into his glove. _“We're going in chronological order. You'll be third, so use this time to come up with a good name.”_

With the third Naruto appeased, the nineteen year old Naruto continued, _“I'll be...Hajime.”_

The twelve year old snorted. _“Origin? It fits you perfectly.”_

“ _Oh hush,”_ said the married Naruto, _“it's my turn.”_

The twelve year old huffed. _“What are you going to call yourself? Jiro or maybe Hisao-jiji?”_

The second Naruto glared. _“I was thinking something along the lines of Koji, for my name. Sounds about right, don't you think?”_

The third snorted again. _“Like that's any better.”_

The Naruto now named Koji shook his head and said, _“well it's your turn. Pick a name.”_

“ _I'll be called Bishamon,”_ declared the third Naruto.

A few of the younger Narutos snickered, Koji sighed, _“I think you should pick a different name.”_

The current Naruto laughed, _“Bishamon is a stupid name. Choose something else.”_

The twelve year old wasn't pleased but changed his name anyway. _“Mitsuo.”_

“ _Third male? Fits you perfectly,”_ mocked Hajime, letting a hint of childishness take him. _“Are you sure you don't want to be named Ryuji? That would fit even better.”_

Mitsuo's face reddened and he glared at his predecessor. _“That was not my fault.”_

The fourth Naruto raised an eyebrow. _“Really, I recall it being you who decided to see what would happen if you lit a gas stove on fire. You also died in a burst of chakra flames._

Mitsuo sunk into his chair, muttering, _“at least I wasn't gutted like a fish.”_

The fourth Naruto glared. _“At least you died quickly.”_

“ _Will you two just calm down, Naruto still needs a new name. So until this naming is done, Ryuji, be quiet,”_ said Hajime.

Mitsuo sulked. _“It's Mitsuo.”_

The fourth Naruto smiled and said, _“I'll be Shiro.”_

The current Naruto slammed his head on the table. _“I swear I would've claimed I was a more creative person than this. Do my pranking days mean nothing?”_

The ex-ROOT-member shifted in his seat, he had planned on continuing the trend and say Goro, but decided against saying it in favor of saying, _“Taku.”_

The current original nodded in approval. _“Thank you Taku. At least_ he _has good taste in names.”_

Hajime scratched the back of his head. _“Not my fault they liked my idea.”_

The six year old Naruto then yelled, _“I wanna be Rokuro!”_

“ _No,”_ the seventh Naruto said.

“ _But-”_

“ _No.”_

The not going to become Rokuro pouted and said, _“Fine, I'll be...uhm...”_

“ _How about Noriyuki?”_ asked Koji.

“ _No-ri-yu-ki,”_ tested the six year old. _“Yeah! I'll be Noriyuki!”_

Naruto sighed, _“Now that we are done with that-”_

A rush of memories bombarded them.

“ _Someone's coming,”_ said Taku, a slight cough shook his frail body. _“An Uchiha.”_

“ _Arg, can't I go a day without seeing an Uchiha?”_ Naruto asked rhetorically.

Mitsuo couldn't help but comment. _“Not while they're still alive.”_

“ _Do you ever shut up?”_ asked Shiro.

Mitsuo smirked. _“No.”_

…

Naruto launched himself from his mindscape. He rubbed his fist across his eyes and turned to the clones. “Which Uchiha is it?”

The four clones shrugged; none knowing more than the boss.

Naruto huffed and pointed to one of the clones. “You. You dispel and tell the last outside clone to find _actual_ information about this Uchiha. You. No not _you_ , the other one. Yes, you. You track the Uchiha down to keep an eye on what he or she does, along with learning what he or she wants.”

“Sure thing, Boss!” Shout the two clones before one dispelled and the other flew out the door.

Naruto rubbed his forehead. “Why is it always an Uchiha? They stalk me more than my ANBU guards do... but not nearly as bad as that time with the hunter ninja. They were horrible. Prank their headquarters once and suddenly you're being watched closer than an S-rank nuke-nin doing the polka in the kage's office. Lesson learned: pranking ANBU is Aokay, but with Oi-nin you shouldn't play.”

Naruto's face scrunched as he processed the information from a dispelled clone. “Confirmed Uchiha, male, black hair, and a ninja...oh that's _very_ helpful. Seriously, my clone couldn't even-”

And 'poof' went his remaining clone; the hour old clone's life cut short, killed by a certain black haired Uchiha. The only information he got was that the Uchiha had good aim and great chakra sensing prowess.

Naruto's eye twitched.

Well. Cold ramen and soggy toast.

Naruto sighed. “I have an Uchiha tracking my trail and could potentially find me. It can't be an Uchiha I know, such as Obito or Itachi, else I would have known their chakra signature. So, just a random Uchiha. I can deal with that. I've survived harder things than random Uchiha. Really, this situation can't get any worse than it is. I mean that would just be-”

A creaking groan and a solid bang resounded in the large room.

Naruto stilled, letting a small amount of blood lust seep into the air.

There were times when the world liked to spit your own words back in your face. It happens to everyone at some point, unless they had some anti-Murphy's Law blessing gifted to them.

Naruto turned slowly to the clone standing- cowering beside the closed door.

The clone laughed nervously. “I- uh, I thought we should shut the door. You know, so the Uchiha doesn't sense us?”

“I seemed to have forgotten, remind me.” A plastic grin spread across face. “What happened to “Koji” when he came here in the second Timeline?”

The clone shrunk into himself. “Uh, he shut the door behind him?”

Naruto nodded. “Mhm, and what happened after that?”

The clone scuffed his shoe against the now cleaned and polished floor. Head bowed he mumbled, “he got locked inside for a few hours, until he completely blew up Dad's man cave.”

“That's right, and do you know the problem with that particular solution?” Naruto asked himself.

“We don't have enough control to get out of a blast alive or unscathed?” He answered, trying to put as much distance between him and the Boss.

“Correct,” Naruto said with some grossly fake happiness. Naruto was not pleased. “We don't have anyone on the outside to get us out. We can't escape ourselves, else being crushed by debris or our chakra will rebound and fry us alive. Those seals prevent chakra from escaping, that means no legitimate teleporting. We can't reverse seal to dad's seals. We don't have toads, since we haven't resigned the contract. Nobody knows where we are, since our trail was erased along the way. They can't feel our chakra. Kurama won't help us. Jiji's magic ball has been confiscated for a week, for reasons you can guess. We have a little food and apple cider, but that will be useless if we die of suffocation. Do you see our _itty bitty_ problem?”

The clone meekly answered, “...maybe the Uchiha will-”

“That Uchiha was following our chakra signature. A signature, which might I remind you, is now blocked by seal enhanced 275 cm thick stone walls. Our signature suddenly disappeared. What do you think he's going to do? Look around the area for a ninja already long gone?”

The other clone shifted his weight. “We still have the dummy clone that the ANBU watch.”

Naruto turned to his less stupid clone, which wasn't actually any smarter then the other. “How do you propose we get the clone to come to us? It won't matter even if he knows the problem. He only has so much chakra to spend before he dissolves into nothing. By the time he figures out how to sneak out of the village undetected, he would have spent the majority of it and probably won't make it here since Uchiha-san has a tendency to kill clones.”

The clones were silent and Naruto was getting his “unhappy Hokage” tone when he calmly said, “This room is ten cubic meters. Ten cubic meters. The average human breathes one cubic meter of air an hour. Now, we can reuse some of the air for these ten cubic meters of air to last a day. However, even though we have a small body that takes less air, you need to remember that this is still just stale air. In short you, you unthinking and incompetent clone, have killed me. Making me the youngest to die at five. You've set my life to end in about a day's time; we have one day before we are once again thrown back and into the _eighth_ Timeline.”

“We could still try to escape,” the clone hesitantly offered the idea.

“I'd rather fall asleep and not wake up instead of remembering being crushed and become the butt of a bad joke. Ryuji has enough of that.”

“ _It's Mitsuo.”_ The third timeline persona's grumbling echoed in Naruto's mind.

Naruto froze in surprise, before his sent out a tentative thought, _“Mitsuo?”_

“ _That would be my name.”_ His twelve year old self rolled his eyes.

Naruto contemplated the strange phenomenon of having multiple versions of himself running free in his head. It was strange indeed to have more than one self and frankly, it sounded like the beginning of a severe case of psychosis. What even were they?

“ _Is our existence really that strange, Mr. I Clone Myself At Will?”_ Mitsuo grunted.

“ _Maybe we're strange effect from splitting your memories up, a mind's subconscious response?”_ Shiro commented. Shiro, the fourth Naruto was in the middle of trying to patch his torn shirt and becoming increasingly frustrated. He had died with a large hole torn in his torso. He died that way and was probably going to stay that way.

Naruto's face scrunched up, pensive. _“Are_ all _of us in my mind?”_

“ _It appears so,”_ Shiro answered, giving up his tailoring. _“Though we seem to be separated by our timelines. The memories and feelings from the others don't affect our personality. It seems we're independent lives; while you are the combination of all of us.”_

“Great.” Naruto shook his head. _'It wasn't like having two entities live in the same mind was bad enough. But now there are eight.'_

“ _At least it's only you and a fox,”_ Shiro said, _“it could always be worse.”_

Mitsuo sniffed indignantly. _“I'm trapped in a the mind of my future child self with five other losers and an angry, humanity hating, father killing fox.”_

“ _And you wonder why the fox didn't like you. What do you have to complain about? Might I remind you how I died? Imagine being cut open and your intestines played with by your best friend's body,”_ Shiro snarled to his other self. _“Now imagine being the one to gut your best friend but unable to do anything because you're possessed by an unstable snake sannin that you had to share mind with. So before you start complaining about sharing a mind with yourself and a biju, think how lucky you are that you don't have to share a mind with Orochimaru or Madara.”_

Naruto was quiet and listened himself fight with himself. _“Maybe this is insanity, kagebunshin was forbidden for a reason...this can't possibly be normal.”_

“ _Hn, crazy ninja,”_ Mitsuo said, his prepubescent voice sounding more whiny than usual.

The sixteen year old rolled his eyes. _“You sound like an Uchiha. Sakura-san once said she had an 'inner self', maybe it's something like that.”_

“ _Or he's gone bananas,”_ Mitsuo said, glancing to the fourth Naruto, _“and you are just a figment of our imagination trying to trip me up.”_

“ _If I'm just his imagination gone wild, than so are you. Why would he imagine you? You're worse than academy arrogant Sasuke,”_ Shiro said snidely.

“ _Maybe he needed to put his frustration somewhere,”_ Mitsuo snarled, offended. He was not like Sasuke. _“And I manifested in it's place. Things like that don't disappear without a trace. Besides, I don't see what's so special about you. All you did was be average and died a stupidly painful death.”_

“ _I have you know, you little shrimp, that my death may have lasted five minutes. But it was five minutes of pure torture. While the second's lasted the longest, mine was the most painful!”_

Koji's older voice hummed in Naruto's head. _“Don't drag me into this.”_

“ _Pff, you think your death was painful?”_ Mitsuo scoffed, _“How painful do you think conflicting seals are? Hm? Do you know why iryo-nin need so much training? They have to know how to insert their chakra without conflicting with the other person's chakra else a wound would become worse and burn. Chakra fire, not fire natured chakra, chakra fire is made from conflicting and mixing chakra. Seals are packed full of chakra from the sealer or sealers. Which is why they are so dangerous. Dangerous enough that seals that are forced together that shouldn't go together will cause them to destroy each other. What happens when seals get destroyed? They release their trapped chakra. The Kyuubi's chakra was released, Minato made the seal so his chakra was released, Orochimaru's curse seal released his chakra, and mine was already there. It's bad for two separate chakra types to mingle. A biju's chakra especially, any half sane jinchuriki can attest to that. But it's an entirely new type of bad when there is two kage chakra levels, one of those being horribly corrupt, royal Uzumaki chakra of a high level, and the strongest biju's chakra all mingling and conflicting. What do you suppose will happen to the body that happened to hold all four?”_

Noriyuki, the sixth timeline's Naruto, sniffled and looked at his counterparts with teary eyes. He remembered what they went through, but by no means was it him that it happened to. He was still, in memory age and mentality, a six year old child. Six years didn't amount to much by itself, it was only when added to more years of experience did the mental age's growth actually show.

“ _I don't like dying,”_ Noriyuki said. _“It hurt. P-please stop.”_

The two older Narutos stopped fighting and Naruto decided to use the pause to ask a question that was nagging the back of his mind. _“Does it seem like you six can be projected into a clone? You are all giving me a migraine and I would be more than happy to have it quiet in there.”_

Koji, the second Naruto, decided to answer. _“It certainly seems-”_

A loud clanking came from the closed door; every Naruto, corporeal and incorporeal, froze and listened.

The clones tensed when they realized none of them were fiddling with it, someone of the outside was. The clones quickly disappeared in case it was a friendly. They were just a “poof” away to help if it was a hostile.

The door creaked again before a sliver of light could be seen in the now pitch black room.

“Is someone in here?” A masculine voice called from the outside.

Naruto, stunned at the idea of actually being able to escape going to the eighth timeline early, considered his options. Really, the ninja outside could either be an ally or an enemy shinobi. It was likelier to be an ally, probably that pesky Uchiha from earlier. Even if it was a random spy, it didn't matter. Friend or foe, he would get out if he announced his presence. He'd decide what to do from there; he wasn't much of a planner as much as a doer.

“Yes! I'm trapped,” he answered the voice, making himself as childish and scared as possible. Children would usually be pretty scared in this sort of situation. ...and maybe he was a little scared of just dying in a dark room. Alone.

There was some scuffling outside the door before the man replied, “I'll get you out, don't worry. Stand back from the door though. I'm going to blast this baby in.”

“Okay,” Naruto said as he got as far away from the door. There was a pause and a blast of fire before the door was slammed inward. Naruto made a note to fix that later.

The man strode into the room. His figure set in a relaxed but ready stance. Just in case the childish voice he heard turned out to be an enemy.

Naruto's eyes widened as he approached the man, smoke slowly clearing. “It's you?”

…

Omake

(Naming The Weasel)

“Fugaku, I have something to tell you...”

Fugaku looked up at his wife, busily munching away on his omedetou. “Hn?”

“I'm pregnant.”

FWOOMP

“Fugaku! Don't pass out with sweets in your mouth!”

…

“What should we name the baby?” Mikoto wondered.

“Hn,” Fugaku grunted.

“No,” Mikoto shot down.

“Hn,” Fugaku offered.

Mikoto narrowed her eyes. “Those kanji better not be what I think they are.”

Fugaku sighed and thought for a moment before offering another name. “Hn.”

“I am not naming my first born _Komaru,_ ” Mikoto said with finality. “That is, perhaps, the most unoriginal name you have offered yet.”

“Hn,” Fugaku said.

“Point taken. Seriously though, the child would outgrow Komaru within a few years. Can you imagine young children running up to our child in seventy years yelling _'Ko-jiji tell us a story!'_.”

“Hn,” Fugaku said.

“Fugaku!” Mikoto cried indignantly. “That is not funny! It might not even be a boy!”

…

“So what did you decide to name the baby?” Kushina asked Mikoto.

“We can't agree on anything.” Mikoto sighed forlornly. “We've decided that he would name it if it's a boy and I would name it if it's a girl.”

“Well, it's fifty fifty. Besides, I'm sure he'll pick a good name if it ends up being a boy,” Kushina reassured.

“I don't know...”

…

“-aku-sama...Fugaku-sama? Fugaku-sama, you can come out of the corner now,” an elderly midwife said.

“Is it over?” Fugaku asked, peeking through his finger and uncurling slightly from his fetal position.

“...yes...” she trailed off. Never had she seen such a pitiful looking patriarch before. “Congratulations, you're the proud father of a healthy baby boy.”

“A son!” Fugaku exclaimed in glee and dashed over to his wife.

Mikoto glowered at her husband. “The second I get out of this bed...I'm kicking your wimpy butt to the next tomorrow for leaving my side.”

“I get to name my heir, my beautiful little- hn?” Fugaku picked up his firstborn, eyes narrowed in confusion. “This isn't a baby.”

The infant blinked a few times and stared at his father with a specifically unimpressed look. “...”

“Fugaku-sama...have you ever seen a newborn before?” The midwife asked.

“No...”

Mikoto sighed and closed her eyes. “Just name him already. As long as I don't have to call my child youji-chan anything is fine.”

Fugaku held his child closer to his eyes, staring intently as the baby yawned back at him. With a look of inspiration and enlightenment, he proudly declared, “Son, because you look like a new born stone marten...I hereby name you, my first born son and heir to our prestigious clan, Uchiha Itachi.”

The newly named Itachi hung limply in his father's hold and stared at the man that named him, before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

Mikoto lower eyelid twitched. “Fugaku...give me my baby back. I don't think I trust you with him.”

…

“Was it Tou-san that named me?” Itachi asked his mother one day, about six years later and in a department store that sold clothing.

Mikoto looked down at her son in surprise. “Yes, he did.”

Itachi tilted his head from one side to another, eyeing her swollen belly. “Baby-san, Nii-san is telling you to be born a girl.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name Meanings:
> 
> Hajime- First, Origin, Beginning  
> Jiro- The Second Male  
> Hisao- Long Lived Man  
> Koji- Ruler, Happy Second Son  
> Bishamon- The Japanese god of war  
> Mitsuo- Third Male, Shining Man  
> Ryuji- Dragon Man  
> Shiro- Fourth Born Son  
> Goro- Fifth Son  
> Taku- Content  
> Rokuro- Sixth Son  
> Noriyuki- Example of Happiness
> 
> -ones you might know, you hardcore fans...-
> 
> Naruto- Maelstrom (or the naruto fish cakes found in ramen)  
> Itachi- Weasel (a symbol of bad luck to the family it visits)  
> Sakura- Cherry blossom trees (it also means decoy and horse meat)  
> Sasuke- Warrior or Assistance (not a pun)  
> Mikoto- Words of an emperor/noble  
> Fugaku- Unlearned (alternate name for Mt. Fuji)
> 
> Don't forget to tell me what you think of your own names!


	9. (Minion-san)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: You know what's hard? Ages of Naruto characters that supposedly don't matter enough to be given an age. None of you will know the pains I went through to get some of these ages. None of you will know the in depth research and time I put into figuring out a logical timeline for Kishimoto's ninja world. Logic, Japanese school research, estimation, given information, and sheer amounts of insanity managed to let me give you a workable timeline that I planned to mess with anyway. And none of you will appreciate what I've done because I swear that I am going to post that timeline somewhere so everyone else doesn't have to worry about doing what I did. Enjoy.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Some nervous villagers...yeah.
> 
> Original Ch 13: 03/01/15
> 
> Update: 03/04/17
> 
> Omake: 04/27/17

 

Chapter Eight

(Minion-san)

Uzumaki Naruto: 6th Year of the 7th Timeline, 13th Day of the 9th Month

Naruto's eyes widened, staring up at the young man. Though really, almost everyone was young when you reached a century in age. “It's you?”

“Do I know you?” Bemused black eyes regarded him. “I don't think we've met?.”

Naruto dragged himself out of his stupor. He hadn't expected to come in contact with the man, ever. However, never let it be said that Naruto didn't take opportunities that came knocking at the door, or in this case, busting through the door.

Naruto tilted his head and squinted his eyes as if studying him; which he was but not the appearance, he was looking at the ninja's body language.

“We haven't. But, you probably know _of_ me,” Naruto said, the last part of his sentence came out quieter. He looked the man up and down before he declared, “you look like Sasuke-teme. 'cept without the poofy hair that sorta looks like a duck's rump or _really bad_ bed head.”

In the face of unfamiliar people, never give away information until they have proven themselves worthy of trust. Especially in a ninja village. A village of people who were _trained_ to be deceitful. It was better to appear as innocent and naive as possible. Naruto knew he was no where near strong enough to defeat a powerful shinobi if things went wrong. He had enemies inside and outside the village, he had yet to place what this man was to him.

The Uchiha smiled kindly down at Naruto. “We're from the same clan. What's your name squirt?”

Naruto looked up at him in mock suspicion, calculating blue eyes searching black before he grinned and jabbed a finger to his chest. “Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage of the Konoha! What's your name Uchiha-san?”

“Uchiha Shisui.” Shisui gave a mock formal bow. “A pleasure to meet you, future hokage.”

Shisui wondered why the village jinchuriki was alone, in an abandoned sealing room, without a sign that his ANBU guards were nearby. It was concerning that he got this far out of the village without anyone noticing.

Naruto, noticing the physically older ninja's thinking, decided to interrupt any suspicions that could arise. “Thank you Shisui-san, for getting me out of my secret hideout. Haha! I haven't gotten around to fixing the door...and it closed...so...um, yeah.”

“Not a problem, squirt. It's my duty as a shinobi of the leaf to look out for her citizens. So this is your secret hideout, huh?” Shisui made an exaggerated look around the room.

Naruto recognized the exaggeration as a way to let kids and civilians know that their things or place was being observed. It comforted clients and helped young ones feel noticed.

The room itself wasn't...impressive. Large, dark, and recently cleaned. A bit embarrassing to call a hideout, if Naruto was going to be brutally honest. But who needed embarrassment? It was only embarrassing if you let it be.

Naruto hesitantly walked closer to Shisui. He had always heard good things about the man, teen, but didn't know him personally.

Naruto decided to err on the side of caution. He didn't know if Shisui recognized the whole “the kunai sealed in the scroll does not make the scroll a kunai” concept for the jinchuriki. He probably did, Shisui was an ANBU after all; however that didn't necessarily mean Shisui would feel inclined to be friendly. Uchiha had a tendency to hold onto bitter grudges.

“Ne, Shisui-san. How did you find me?” Naruto asked when he was close enough to be polite, but far enough to dodge should the Uchiha decide to strike. It was purely instinct ingrained in years of living surrounded by spiteful villagers, unstable ninja, and strangely powerful enemies.

“I felt your chakra signature over here and decided to drop by,” Shisui said. _'A very_ large _signature that could've easily been an enemy jounin.'_

“Oh,” Naruto said and nodded sagely. “You must be a shinobi. Just like Uchiha-shinobi-san!”

“You got it, kiddo. Though, I'm not just any ninja. I'm the coolest and most awesome ninja of them all,” Shisui said with a crooked smile.

Naruto didn't know how to respond to that. On one hand, he knew that Shisui was simply trying to make a “kid” feel at ease around him. On the other hand, it was rather awkward having that aimed at you when you've outlived the person by at about eighty five years.

Which left the two smiling a little to widely at each other, occasionally nodding, and shifting their weight in silence.

“So,” Shisui finally decided to say. “What are you doing way out here by yourself? _Alone_?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Naruto deflected, narrowing his eyes jokingly. “You seem pretty suspicious just poppin' outta no where.”

“Returning from a mission.” Shisui humored, hoping to get some information himself. “Do you come here often?”

Naruto scuffed the ground with his shoe with a shrug. “Sometimes, when I need to think.”

“Ah.” Shisui nodded in understanding, he gestured to the room. “It's pretty clean for a five year old's secret hideout.”

Naruto stomped his foot and crossed his arms indignantly. He knew he was short, but he wasn't _that_ short...his growth spurt was just a little late. “I'm six! Besides, this place was icky before I cleaned it up. How can I make my _super secret exclusive invite only_ club hideout cool if it has cobwebs 'n black stuff everywhere?”

Naruto had debated the idea of making a base for his _“club”_ , but an already made concrete room complete with special seals was like a free three-day all you can eat ramen buffet. It just needed furniture, some updated seals...and a new door. It was close enough to Konoha that he could safely man it while being far away enough not to be noticed by the ninja population.

Naruto had no idea he was making the Uchiha pity him. No, the only thing Naruto was thinking of at the time was that knowing Shisui was a perfect opportunity to gain influence into the Uchiha Massacre.

Naruto was fairly sure Shisui died sometime before the massacre. He also remembered a big fight for the young man's eyes; which were currently both safely in the dude's head. He would have to make sure Danzo didn't actually get the Uchiha's eye this time.

...besides, he really didn't want another crow stuffed down his throat just so he could safe guard another over powered thing. Do you know what it feels like to have a crow fly out of your throat? Weird. Like puking purple radioactive sentient hairballs weird. But in any case, the best way to keep track of someone was to make bonds.

Naruto gave Shisui a look before saying, “Since you've seen the super secret hideout, you'll have to be sworn to absolute secrecy. Otherwise I can't let you leave.”

A smile worked its way up Shisui's face before he laid a hand over his heart. “I, Uchiha Shisui, give my word to never tell another soul about the super secret hideout without permission from Uzumaki Naruto.”

Naruto nodded with a hand on his chin. “As club leader, I also have the power to invite whomever I want. Normal club members need permission from me before inviting. I hereby invite one Uchiha Shisui to join my club.”

Without knowing what he was agreeing to, Shisui said, “I, Uchiha Shisui, accept Uzumaki Naruto's invite and join his super secret club.”

Naruto stroked an imaginary beard before saying, “very well. Sign the contract and you'll be fully joined.”

Running off to the pile of stuff, Naruto riffled through his bag and looked up at Shisui. “Ah, I don't have any scrolls...”

Shisui chucked a little. “A piece of paper would be fine.”

Naruto pouted. “But Jiji does everything in scrolls.”

Shisui sighed and pulled out a blank scroll from his pouch. It was going to become a sealing scroll, but he was notoriously weak against puppy eyes.

Naruto jumped up in excitement and pulled out a pen and began scribbling out an Uzumaki styled contract seal. Effective and unrecognizable to most.

Naruto proudly handed it to Shisui. “Sign below. You'll officially become a club member for life. _Unless_ you defect and become a traitor, mental instability, or in the event that you become a zombie under the mind control of an evil villain. If _that_ happens then your memories will be sealed away.”

Shisui's mouth curled up a little, finding what he assumed was an imitation of the hokage amusing. He did wonder about the mind controlled zombie part.

Taking the pen, which almost seemed to pull at his chakra, Shisui signed his name.

Naruto grinned up at the Uchiha and said, “welcome, Uchiha Shisui. You can call me Naruto. In front of visitors and to outsiders you'll refer to me as the seventh Mukage instead of my name. It'd be like my awesome secret alias.”

Shisui knew the boy was dead set on becoming the Hokage and thought the young Uzumaki's imagination was cute. What young shinobi-to-be _didn't_ pretend to be a ninja at some point?

“As Mukage I will assign the missions to you, my awesome subordinate. As you rise in the ranks of my trust you will get harder missions to complete,” Naruto said seriously.

Shisui nodded seriously, but a small smile betrayed him.

“You will also be privy to more top secret information that is only spoken of in a super secret meeting place. The club won't force you to go against your previous loyalties unless absolutely necessary.”

Shisui suddenly got the feeling of impending danger, as if he had just stepped into a room that was far too quiet.

Shisui hummed. “I have a few questions about the club.”

Naruto nodded and waited for him to continue.

“What kind of missions are we talking about? What top secret information? Why would we go against our 'loyalties'? What is the purpose of our club?” Shisui listed and waited for, what he hoped would be, a childish answer.

Naruto laughed a bit and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Um, I haven't decided on any missions yet... The information is just stuff that'll help our club's epic goal. The loyalty thing is because I _really_ don't want ta get ya in trouble. Like being late for dinner; that'd be bad. Oh, and our club is going to save the world from chaotic premature destruction. Really nothing that special.”

“Chaotic premature destruction,” Shisui echoed. “Care to elaborate?”

“I would, but it's super secret and we currently don't have a door. Which reminds me! Shisui-san, your first mission, should you choose to accept it, is a high D-Rank mission of fixing the hideout's door.”

Shisui could his inner self face fault; he, an ANBU, was doing a D-Rank mission commissioned by a kid and not even being paid for it.

Naruto grinned at him. “You break it you fix it. Don't worry, though, I'll supervise of course. Can't have a confused minion running around.”

Shisui let out a long-suffering sigh and nodded. “Alright, but I have to stop by the Hokage's office to report. Hold onto my hand, we're going to shunshin.”

Naruto's eyes sparked, gathered his stuff (except the cleaning supplies), and grabbed onto the offered hand before they disappeared. Naruto could tell Shisui's shunshin was different. It was perfectly smooth and without any “bumps”, like taking long strides in one direction or another. Shisui truly was the master of teleporting.

They appeared in the waiting area. Shisui looked down at Naruto and said, “just wait out here, I'll be back soon.”

Naruto nodded and hopped over to the chairs. He plopped down and watched the secretary watch him.

Exciting.

…

Uchiha Shisui: 15th Year of the 7th Timeline, 13th Day of the 9th Month

“Thank you Shisui-san,” the Hokage said, “is there anything else you'd like to add unofficially to your report?”

“Hai, Hokage-sama.” Shisui relaxed his stance slightly; not enough to be disrespectful but enough to show that he was discussing something personal with an authority figure. “It doesn't pertain to the given mission.”

The Hokage inclined his head. “Proceed.”

“I have made the acquaintance of one Uzumaki Naruto-” Shisui started before a loud and abrasive exclamation from outside the room made him pause.

“That's Number One Unpredictable Prankster, Future Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto- _sama_ to you, Minion-kun!”

There was some faint yelling from the secretary and a few other sounds before Shisui continued, “uh, he has started a club and I was invited.”

The Sandaime nodded, a smile stretched across his wizened face.

“He was very persuasive,” Shisui added, “and he roped me into playing his games. He has insisted on me calling him the seventh Mu-”

“Minion-kun!” Naruto exclaimed as he burst through the door and jumped onto Shisui's back. “Club secrets must remain secret!”

The secretary came in panting , looking like she had dodged a few badly timed pranks to get to the office.

“I'm sorry,” she huffed, “Hokage-sama. I couldn't...couldn't stop him.”

Naruto pouted and exclaimed near Shisui's ear. “But they're talking about me!”

Shisui winced at the sheer volume from the boy before a severe whisper from the same boy muttered for only he to hear. “The walls have ears, Uchiha. Watch what you say.”

Shisui stilled at Naruto's cool tone. The hyper active yet cautious kid from before had another side.

Shisui had previously guessed that the loudness was a mask of sorts, made to evade and pick out hostile people.

Naruto had the quieter, thinking side, in the room where Shisui found him. It was like he was being picked apart when Naruto looked at him. It had felt like another shinobi was sizing him up and trying to figure out what threat level he posed. However the boy had only shown sides of being friendly, if not justifiably cautious.

This side of the kid, though, was cold and almost hostile. Speaking in a tone that implied a very sharp mind that knew exactly what he was talking about and left no room for any form of argument.

Maybe it was the violent mood swing that could only be observed in the five year old's voice, his face didn't seem to give anything away or perhaps it was that the boy seemed to know there were others listening in on the conversations in the Hokage office. Either way, Shisui was surprised but hesitant to act on it. If anything, he was wary of what made Naruto wary.

“Naruto-kun, you've seemed to have made a new friend,” the Hokage said, smiling at the boy who he felt like was an untouchable grandson. A grandson he had to tip toe around, because of politics. Hiruzen was pleased that Naruto had more friendly acquaintances in his life, but he couldn't help but worry about the fact they were all older then he was.

Ah, there was an irony to Hiruzen's worry that only you, lovely amazing readers, would understand.

“Yeah! Yeah! Minion-kun is my new club member and I'm gonna show him the ropes!” Naruto loudly declared.

Sarutobi chuckled. “Shisui-kun, you have permission to take the next few days off. Have fun in the new club.”

Shisui recognized that the older man wanted him to keep Naruto company and was more or less giving him a relaxed vacation. Not that he was going to argue, his last mission was a little too much on the strange side.

 

“Yatta!” Naruto jumped down and fist pumped. “We're going to have a lot of fun! Come along minion.”

Hiruzen laughed as one of his strongest and most loyal shinobi was dragged off to play. The look on the Uchiha's face was enough to make his day a little brighter. Now, if there was a way to make paper work disappear...perhaps he could ask his secretary to take some.

The secretary gave him a _look_ and Hiruzen resigned himself to his work.

…

Naruto dragged the Uchiha down the street, heading towards a good carpentry store that would have what was needed to fix a nearly indestructible door.

Shisui was mentally flipping through everything Naruto had previously said and had done. Needless to say, Shisui came to the conclusion that the kid was hiding things and knew a great deal more than what he expressed. Some of what the kid was doing simply didn't line up right unless he took into account that the brat was hoarding secrets and had more personas than deep cover agent that couldn't separate work from personal life.

And to think he signed a possibly binding contract with mentioned brat. At least it was in gibberish so the likelihood of it actually holding any power was low...probably.

The duo were in and out of the store in close to no time, equipped with bolts, screws, handles, hinges, and oil. They stopped to buy stationary along with a fine brush and inkwell. When Shisui asked about it, Naruto merely grinned and said, “Patience, young grasshopper, is the key to never getting gray hair and successful shogi games against normal people. If you want to beat a Nara at shogi, you need to be unpredictable and quick.”

Nope. Not foreboding at all.

Naruto happily dragged the Uchiha around the village like his personal pack mule.

The civilians of the village openly glared at the smiling boy, and the harsh whispers and muttered insults didn't go unnoticed. Shisui wasn't surprised by their dislike, but it unsettled him by their open hostility towards the boy.

He had seen the dislike for his own clan when it came to the suspicious and paranoid people, but he had never seen such open hostility or blatant shunning from the villagers. The ninja didn't do anymore then glance and continue onward, but kept the boy well within their peripheral like he was an iffy explosive tag.

“It's _that_ brat.”

“Don't look him in the eye.”

“Never talk to that boy, Yuki, he's very dangerous.”

“Look, it's with an Uchiha.”

“Why can't it leave us in peace?”

“Probably controlling the thing with his cursed eyes.”

“Best to avoid them.”

“Uchiha shouldn't be trusted with it.”

“Ne, Shinobi-san!” Naruto exclaimed, purposely leaving out Shisui's name, grin splitting his face and eyes squinted. “We can stop by my place to drop off the stuff for the door! We'll fix it tomorrow, okay?”

Shisui's attention snapped back to the kid and nodded.

He knew the child could hear the whispers, Naruto had proven he wasn't as dense as everyone seemed to think. Shisui looked into the calm blue eyes of Konoha's jinchuriki and felt a sense of peace wash over him. It was only then he realized he had been leaking KI. The kid had many faces, it seemed, but none of them held ill intent toward the village. Naruto was a genuinely kind person, if not a little too paranoid for his age.

“Sure, just lead the way to your home,” Shisui said and followed the chattering blond to a run down complex. It wasn't a shabby thing, but it had seen better days.

“You live here?” Shisui asked, following the bouncing brat up the stairs to the third floor.

“Yup, home sweet home,” Naruto chirped as he swung the apartment door open.

Shisui walked in after him.

The room was small with only a kitchenette, a table, two stools, a trashcan, and a fridge in it. It had posters and a calendar that, no doubt, hid blemishes or holes in the wall. A short hall led to what he assumed to be the bathroom and the bedroom. Over all it was clean and tidy. Not what he expected from a young kid...unless that kid was his cousin/little brother Itachi. _That_ kid had some things going for him.

Naruto walked off to the far door and into the room. “You can set the stuff on the table. Make yourself at home.”

Shisui set the things on the table and sat on one of the stools. A moment later, Naruto came out carrying a brush and some paint. He set the items next to the supplies for the door and walked over to turn the hotplate on. He flipped the switch and set a teapot on it. He moved about the kitchen grabbing two cups along with a tea strainer.

Naruto looked over to Shisui and asked, “do you have a preference to what type of tea you want?”

“Anything is fine,” Shisui said politely, earning an exasperated sigh and a few muttered words from his host. Shisui was mildly surprised by Naruto's hospitality. Most kids his age weren't very polite to their guests in the traditional sense. But as he watched the young boy move about and calmly, if not lethargically, welcome his guest, Shisui couldn't help but think that the kid would have done this quite a few times.

Naruto, being the host and the youngest (in body), served the tea. Naruto was silent and quietly studied Shisui, seeming to ponder over something as they drank. Shisui doubted anyone besides himself had ever seen the many faces of Naruto. The kid's file was so inaccurate, he feared for the village's security and the competence of the intelligence division.

“Loud”, “inattentive”, “hyperactive”, and “disturber of the peace” his left saddle.

“I'd like to apologize on behalf of the village for the inappropriate behavior directed at you, Uchiha-san, while within my company,” Naruto said, breaking the long silence and setting his empty cup down. “It was uncalled for and not personal in most cases. I ask that you do not hold their reactions and irrational behavior against them in the future.”

Again, the child's words changed and had a different feel to them. It was unsettling and made him wonder how the time spent with their Hokage had effected the child's mind, but Shisui was quick to reply, “don't worry about me, Naruto-kun. If... it's alright to ask. How much do you hear from them?”

Naruto tilted his head in thought before deciding something. “I hear enough to know what they think of me. But I doubt that's what you're truly concerned about.”

Shisui got an uneasy feeling in his gut at the piercing look the young boy was giving him.

“What do you think of me, Uchiha-san? What do you think when hear the name _Uzumaki Naruto_?”

Shisui got the distinct impression he was being tested or interrogated. That he was being tried the entire time he was with the boy. That this was a final test, of sorts, to prove whether or not he was a safe 'adult' to trust. It didn't do much good for his pride as a shinobi to only just realize this. Naruto would make, will make, a terrifying ninja when grown.

He wondered how well he was doing in the child's test. He must have been doing something right, he got this far into it while others never got past the loud mouthed nonsense. If he did this right, he felt that this little kid would become very interesting and perhaps show Shisui what his true face was.

“Well,” Shisui said, thinking over his words. “I think you're a bright kid. Very smart and aware of what's around him. I'm not completely sure why you play stupid...a defense mechanism, perhaps.”

Shisui looked over to Naruto who sat waiting for him to continue. No answers yet, then.

“You have more masks then Hatake-san, who has three physical and one emotional as far as I can tell. You're very mature for your age-”

An amused snort from the boy made him pause, who waved him on to continue.

Shisui raised an eyebrow before continuing, “and I think you know something that you shouldn't know.”

Naruto hummed in acknowledgment. “And what do you think of the Kyuubi, Uchiha Shisui?”

Shisui felt like he was about to have a heart attack. Scratch the last question being the last test; this was what Naruto wanted to know. How he viewed the Kyuubi sealing deal. This was _so_ above his pay grade, it wasn't even funny.

Shisui quickly scanned the area for probing ears. It was bad enough the child knew of the chakra fox, but he didn't know how he heard of its existence. Did the child overhear something? Was the child in contact with the fox? Shisui was pretty sure he didn't slip up around the boy. But what if he did? He was going to be executed if anyone even thought he told the boy. He didn't want to die for something he didn't do!

“No one can hear us,” Naruto said, “the seals allow this. Speak freely.”

“How do you know about it?” Shisui whispered, even though the child said the room was secured. How did Naruto know about something like security seals anyway? Not to mention how did a kid managed to get his grubby hands on them.

“Irrelevant,” Naruto said shortly.

“It's forbidden to speak of-”

“I may speak of it to whomever I please. What do you think of the Kyuubi no Kitsune?” Naruto probed, face neutral.

“It's scary and I wet my pants when it attacked the village,” Shisui said, without properly thinking over his answer. He clammed up and his face reddened. Well, dignity didn't mean much in his line of work anyway.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. “You no doubt just shot his ego sky high. But what do you think of me being his jinchuriki?”

“Uh...scary foxes have an ego?” Shisui asked, saying exactly what was on his mind. It was like his mouth had no filter.

Naruto sighed. “I laced your tea way too heavily. My status as a jinchuriki, Shisui-san. Jinchuriki. What do you think of them?”

“He laced my tea?” Shisui said out loud, now understanding the lack of filter and the sudden word diarrhea. He stared down at his empty tea cup. “My tea?”

“You'd think he'd have a higher tolerance.” Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose. “Irrelevant. Focus, Shisui. Jinchuriki. What do you think of the jinchuriki?”

“They must be pretty strong to hold a demon,” Shisui said without hesitation then frowned. “What did you put in my tea? Will I die?”

“The biju are anything but demons. I pray you never meet a real one,” Naruto said and sighed. “No, you will not die. It's just a fast acting truth drug, that if fallen in the wrong hands would be very dangerous. Uchiha Shisui, can I trust you to work with other Jinchuriki and not discriminate against us?”

“As long as they don't try to kill me, my family, or my village,” Shisui replied, surprising himself.

Naruto smiled and accepted his answer. He got up and moved over to one of the cupboards, he pulled up a false bottom and took out a vial and syringe. He quickly replaced the bottom and walked over to Shisui who was eyeing him warily.

“This will counteract the drug. I can't have you spilling your guts in the middle of the streets. I'd be getting assassination attempts tenfold on top of you endangering the village; we can't have the ANBU overwork themselves, now can we.” Naruto flicked the syringe and watched a few bubbles surface.

“If you're worried about assassins learning about stuff. Why ask me that question if I could just run off to tell Hokage-sama? Does he already know?”

“The Hokage doesn't know, it isn't wise to tell him,” Naruto murmured and stabbed the needle into the shinobi's arm. “If you had given me a bad answer, I would've just erased your memory. At the moment, you can't exit this apartment without having a serious bout of amnesia.”

“You lace my tea, threaten my memory, and refuse to tell the Hokage about restricted knowledge. How do you know I'm not going to run off and tell him once you're done with me?” Shisui asked.

Naruto frowned. “I don't, but I'm gambling both our lives that you won't. You rat me out, and you're as good as dead."

“Is that a threat?” Shisui asked warily, the kid was making him nervous.

Naruto looked at the ceiling, deep in thought. “Hm, no. Just warning you what will happen if a certain man caught wind of my extensive knowledge. Besides, if you don't tell Jiji, I'll help you. A loyal jinchuriki goes to the ends of the Earth, through Makai and back, for his or her comrades. Most never learn this because they don't approach us. Ironic really, that they're so scared of our insanity but it’s they themselves that make our insanity possible. Speaking of insanity, I really need to get in contact with Gaara. Hope he hasn't lost his marbles yet. Anyway, I help you, you help me, we save the world from destroying itself and then go out for ramen afterward. Maybe get some good sake involved. Actually, we deserve a party. Yeah, a nice big party; because we were just awesome and saved the world-”

“Wait. Hold it. Stop. Who's Gaara?” Shisui asked, not liking that he was being left out of the loop and that the kid seemed to be getting more unstable by the second.

“Gaara is a future friend and Ichibi no jinchuriki,” Naruto replied. “Should we have the party at my place or...you know what, by then I'll have it arranged to have a great big festival. Across the elemental nations! So ramen, good sake, dango, maybe tomatoes and hm.... well, I have a few years to plan. Oh, and bubble tea. The young ones like their bubble tea. We'll need to have music and games too. Like pin the tail on the Juubi. Hahaha! Wave could probably supply us with fish, add the right herbs and mmm, I'm making myself drool. Which reminds me, I'll need to figure out that whole thing with Kiri, ugh. But no matter, with my plan and secret organization- I mean club, we'll take out the brainwashed brainwasher in no time!”

Shisui blinked a few times before shaking his head, it was best not to question what went through a child's mind. “Naruto-kun... What did you mean by you helping me?”

“Oh, right,” Naruto said, coming out of his daydreams of delicious food. “Yeah, well, you Uchiha are kind of in a bind at the moment. What with the coup and the crazy old guy's council manipulation. I'll try helping the best I can, though, there really isn't much I can do. Politics you know? Oh and there's the whole thing with your eyes, ah, never mind. I'm rambling now. I heard it get's worse as you get older.”

When receiving no answer other than silence, Naruto glanced over to the Uchiha who he found was foaming and twitching on the ground.

Naruto walked up to the frothing Uchiha. “Shisui-san?”

“Beehrrah...” was the intelligent reply of Uchiha Shisui.

“Are you having an allergy attack?” Naruto asked worriedly.

“Blahhh...” Shisui knew that the kid was going to be the end of him.

“Oh, you're worried. You should've said something earlier. No matter what, you'll be fine. Just have to put the finishing touches on faking your death and we'll be all set!” Naruto reassured happily.

Shisui's only response was crying, “Beh-heh-heh...”

…

Omake

(Miss Secretary)

She had been working as the secretary for a good decade.

She had worked under the Sandaime and Yondaime respectively. Getting to know the two _whiny_ men in ways that destroyed any hero-worship that might have cropped up before.

While it wasn't a glamorous job, it certainly beat working under certain _others_.

The Sandaime, Sarutobi Hiruzen, used to be a real workaholic. Not surprising, considering the war that was going on and the sheer amount of combined effort of the hokage, elders, and administration to get through all the new information and decisions needing to be made.

Thankfully, she didn't have to work to much with those papers. No, she was in charge of taking care of the people flow allowed into the hokage's office and directing people to the right areas of the building.

Honestly, you'd think the jounin would know by now where to turn in _special_ reports.

Which was why the ANBU (and what was that idiot rookie doing without his MASK?!) was in the office giving an extremely important report that was completely confidential and she knew _'nothing'_ about.

It was also why she got to keep watch over the resident jinchuriki. Uzumaki Naruto. Son of a fierce and cunning kunoichi and unrestrained mad genius hidden behind a smile and hokage hat.

That combination was just asking for trouble.

It was a wonder the boy was sane enough to be functional in everyday society.

Which was also why, when the boy got The Glint of Impending Destruction, she got a familiar feeling of dread.

Darn her luck for getting her stuck in a room with a pranking genius spawn. How she kept him in that room just long enough was nothing short of a miracle. Or, a writer that doesn't take sadistic pleasure in prolonging a poor secretary's suffering at the hands of a bored Uzumaki.

 


	10. (Time Moves Forward)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esparia's A/N: Oh the joys of finding out everything that is wrong with you. I have been switching up the dates, so things might be a bit...off. Not that anyone actually pays attention to the dates I've set up.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Implication of Orochimaru stuff.
> 
> Original Ch 14: 03/11/15  
> Original Ch 15: 03/15/15  
> Update: 04/22/17  
> Omake: 05/16/17

Chapter Nine

(Time Moves Forward)

Uchiha Fugaku: 39th Year of the 7th Timeline, 20th Day of the 9th Month

Fugaku was a busy man. He was in charge of Konoha’s Police department and the head of one of the largest and most powerful clans. This leads to a load of paperwork, little family time, high blood pressure, and strange requests. Questions and concerns, from his clan and the citizens of the Leaf Village, were usually pretty normal.

“My child is missing, can you find him?”

“Some punk kids sprayed graffiti on my house again. Are you going to catch them?”

“Hey, when are we taking over the village?”

Things like that were normal. Their concerns and requests were normal. The blonde jinchuriki on his porch waiting for Fugaku’s answer to his inane question, was decidedly anything but.

Frown lines creasing, Fugaku started down at the boy. “Could you repeat that?”

With an exaggerated eye roll and an exasperated sigh, the boy replied, “I _asked_ if Shisui-minion can come out to play. He’s my only minion at the moment and we need to paint my club house.”

‘Minion’ was probably the only thing that really stumped Fugaku, or at least the fact that it was in reference to Shisui. Shisui was the jinchuriki’s minion. He wondered when this happened and what else was going on in his clan without his knowing.

If Fugaku wasn’t an Uchiha, he’d probably rub his temples, shut the door of his house, and pretend this never happened.

“Well?” Naruto asked as impatiently as a six year old could be. “Is Minion-kun home or not?”

Sadly, Fugaku was in fact an Uchiha; so, he'd be getting the dubious pleasure of entertaining the strange child's queries.

“No, I'm afraid Shisui-kun is on duty,” Fugaku said coolly, and waited for the boy to leave so he could politely close the door.

Naruto stood there staring at Fugaku, who naturally stared back. If you've ever tried having a staring contest with a cat, you'd know how Fugaku felt.

Stupid for trying to prove to yourself that you are better than a lesser mammal, but determined to manage it in the first place. You end up ashamed of yourself when you realize you're struggling, and the considered lesser being isn't even aware of your internal struggle of proving yourself.

“Are you lying?” Naruto finally asked, narrowing his blue and still peering up at the older Uchiha.

“No.” Fugaku's eye twitched. “He isn't due back until dinner, I shall send him to you when he returns.”

Naruto huffed. “Fine, is your son home then?”

“Sasuke is at the academy,” Fugaku said, and paused in thought. “Shouldn't you be there as well? I seem to recall a report mentioning your enrollment.”

It wasn't really a report, but more of a complaint and wish of the removal of one Uzumaki Naruto from the academy. Fugaku was happy to tell the worried parent that it wasn't within the police's line of work to interfere with the education system and to seek someone else. A messy thing, politics.

Naruto laughed nervously. “Uh, heh, funny story. You see, the Japanese teacher says I disrupt class too much and kicks me out before class starts. Japanese is before lunch, so I have a few free hours and I thought, 'hey, maybe I can con-' er, ' _ask_ Minion-kun to buy me lunch'. Then we can go paint a few walls and yeah...”

“Do you not eat lunch at school?” Fugaku asked, thinking of all the bento his wife made for his sons and himself. He knew the boy currently had a caregiver come in every now an then to make sure the boy didn't starve. She should be at least providing the boy food.

“Ah, well, Emiko-nee makes me bento. But there's this old homeless guy who's kinda blind and can't hear to good. Something like a exploding tag blew up in his face while on a mission as a chunin and he found the closest village. He doesn't know how to sense chakra and can't get a job because he's “unstable”. Super paranoid and stuff. He doesn't let people approach him to often and I can't make him leave 'cause he's waiting for a rescue squad. But anyway, he needs my bento more then me,” Naruto explained.

Fugaku stared down at the boy before he asked, “why haven't you informed anyone of him?”

Naruto sighed dramatically, “'cause I've only known the dude for around a month and have only really started talking to him recently. Besides, it's not like anyone would listen to me.”

Fugaku didn't like the look on the boy's face. He couldn't place which emotion it was, but either way, it didn't look right on the child.

Fugaku's mind wandered, or went straight (Uchiha do not wander), to the thought of a blind, deaf, old chunin living homeless somewhere in Konoha. Who knows if the man was even of the Leaf.

“Boy, where is this man?” Fugaku asked.

Naruto eyed the man suspiciously. “You gonna lock him away?”

Fugaku narrowed his dark eyes. “I shouldn't need to.”

“If I show you where he is,” Naruto started bargaining, “will you buy me ramen afterward?”

Fugaku thought through this. His family wasn't home, it was his day off, and he would have to make food for himself or just eat leftovers. He also had the feeling the kid wouldn't willingly show him or lead him to the potentially dangerous foreign shinobi.

“Fine,” Fugaku grudgingly agreed. He was in the mood for ramen anyway, but Mikoto was never quite able to make it without adding too much salt.

“Yatta!” Naruto cheered. “Well what are you standing there for? Old man joints getting to you? Let's go talk Chunin-jiji out of living in a dumpster for the rest of his life!”

Fugaku watched the blonde ball of excitement run out of his compound before he followed, a bad feeling settling into his stomach as he left.

…

Uzumaki Naruto: 6th Year of the 7th Timeline, 20th Day of the 9th Month

“-and that's how you're going to die. Everything is already set up. Questions, comments, concerns?” Naruto asked, gathering the papers he laid out in front of the very stressed Uchiha.

“Remind me again why we're faking my death,” Shisui said, face resting in his palms. It had been a very long day.

“To prevent your real death,” Naruto replied, happily rubbing his distended stomach. Ramen~

“Uh-huh, and how do you know I'm going to die?” Shisui could feel his migraine increasing.

“A little birdie told me,” Naruto said honestly; granted it was a crow summoning ex-nuke-nin in a previous life that had a thing for illusions; but technicalities don't matter too much.

“Right. Remind me again why I'm going along with this,” Shisui said rhetorically.

“You signed yourself over to me, boy.” Naruto whipped out the scroll with squiggles that were actually a seal and Shisui's name. “As far as your loyalties are concerned; you're my minion but allowed, with my expressed permission, to work under others. I'm awesome, you don't want to die, and I own your minion butt as much as (if not more) than Konohagakure.”

Shisui pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I signed my life over to a devil child.”

“Maa, you make it sound bad, Minion-kun.” Naruto pouted. “You just signed your loyalties. Besides, it's perfectly legal and recognized by the Hokage.”

“I still don't understand how you got the Hokage's seal on that document, and in all honesty, that fact scares me the most,” Shisui said, eyeing the document.

“I asked him to make it official.” Naruto shrugged. “He just signs things put in front of him.”

“I don't believe this. I was tricked into signing a contract with a silver tongued snake!” Shisui cried.

“Oi! I'm obviously a fox. Mean Minion-kun!” Naruto yelled indignantly. “And I did not trick. You just didn't look close enough. Are you really a ninja?”

“I don't even know anymore! I should resign! I'm a failure of a shinobi.” Shisui bawled dramatically into his hands. “What ninja get's out done by a child _not_ from the Nara clan?”

Naruto shook his head with a smile. “And I thought the Drama Queen was dramatic, must be an Uchiha thing. Besides, I'm _not_ a child. I am a senile century old man trapped in a child's body! Dattebayo!”

“A crazy child,” Shisui mumbled, curled in the corner of the large room while drawing circles on the ground with his forefinger. “I sold my body to a crazy child.”

Naruto patted his back sympathetically. “Better to give your body to a crazy child than a sociopath scientist that says he wants your body after giving you a bite with his Rabies Seal of Death. Seriously, science and sociopathy are not a good combination.”

“No one would be stupid enough to do that,” Shisui bemoaned.

“You'd be surprised, Minion-kun. You'd be very surprised,” Naruto said in an all knowing voice.

Shisui looked up at the blonde worriedly. “I don't think I want to know.”

Naruto's unfocused blue eyes gazed off into the distant future past. “No. You really don't.”

Shisui's eyes widened and felt his curiosity and worry meters peak.

Naruto gave himself a shake. “Well, at least he's a fairly good leader. Though killing your minions is kinda counter productive. Hm, besides destructive tendencies and a severe lack of morality, he's an efficient leader. Natural politician, good with fixing financial problems, brilliant in the art of strategy, raised a village of his own, but good grief the man is off his rocker!

“I think he suffers from a chemical imbalance, personally; depression, paranoia, post traumatic stress, fixation on death, the whole shebang. Actually, that's not so different from mini-avenger duck-butt. Granted that's all theory, I know very little about psychology and medicine. Maybe I should look into reading up on some of those things. But let's say we can stabilize him, mentally. Say we get Baa-chan to fix his brain up. Can you imagine the possibilities? Half my problems, poof, gone, never to be seen again! Huh, I'm getting to old for this. Ahahaha, would you look at that, I'm rambling again.”

Shisui just stared wide eyed and hesitantly asked, “Naruto-kun, what are you even talking about?”

“Hmn,” Naruto hummed thoughtfully then shrugged. “I dunno. Anyway, that reminds me. Shisui, you've been an official member of the super secret club for a week now, and I think it's time you meet our friends.”

“You have friends?” Shisui asked in surprise before ducking his head in mortified shame. “Sorry.”

“Hm, allies I suppose is the 'correct' term, but that's like calling my club an underground organization. Nah, doesn't have the same ring to it's title. They're pretty much the same thing anyway.” Naruto shrugged, unaffected by the unintentionally harsh words.

Shisui smiled sadly. He knew the kid didn't have many friends, if any, and that was probably why he latched onto Shisui so fiercely in the first place.

Even though the child's knowledge was suspicious, he was confident he could weasel something out of the kid. Silly D-ranks and the occasional shock from his loyalty seal was worth it. Curse that seal. The crazy brat really was an Uzumaki at heart.

But now the kid was acting his age and wanting him to meet his friends, likely other orphans who weren't told to avoid him. It made Shisui feel slightly honored.

“I'd love to meet them,” Shisui said softly, “just lead the way.”

Naruto smirked up at the man and Shisui got the distinct feeling that he miss interpreted something.

…

“Remind me again why I'm taking a child to the Forest of Death like Itachi takes Sasuke-kun to the playground.” Shisui rubbed his temples. Yes, today has been a very long day.

Naruto and Shisui were standing outside the large electrified fencing and gate that separated training ground forty four from them. The truly massive trees dwarfed the ANBU and time traveler; lichen hung from their boughs like old drapery. Animal calls could be heard from inside the dark forest.

“We're here so you can make friends with my friends,” Naruto said.

“What kind of friends do you have in here?” Shisui asked in horror, orphans and other children don't live in the Forest of Death.

“Hm, the typical man eating kind,” Naruto said, fiddling with the gate controls.

Hearing a dull thump behind him, Naruto turned around to face the passed out Uchiha. With a raised eyebrow and couldn't help but wonder. _'Is he really an ANBU?'_

Naruto sighed, grabbed the unconscious Uchiha and did a quick shunshin to the forest.

Setting the man down he plopped to the ground to work on his self created paperwork. Even the Mukage has the curse of the paperwork.

…

Uchiha Shisui: 15th Year of the 7th Timeline, 20th Day of the 9th Month

“Urgh, what happened?” Shisui asked, coming to the waking world feeling heavy limbed and sluggish. Not to mention the massive, skull splitting headache he now had.

“You passed out,” Naruto said flatly, idly rolling his scrolls back up.

Naruto was sitting in the grass not far from the Uchiha's head and was surrounded by scrolls, seals, books, and varies other oddities. Packing it all up as he said, “I already explained to my friends you were my ally. Since you were completely out of it to properly meet them, you'll have to meet them later. However, they agreed to not attack you on sight.”

Shisui peered up at the canopy; it was always difficult to distinguish the time, with the thick leaves blocking the light, in the Forest of Death.

“You've been out for about three to four hours. Sun has already set,” Naruto said and stretched as he stood up and walked over to Shisui's prone figure. “Why didn't you tell me you exhausted your chakra. Coming straight from a mission with that low of chakra was a stupid and dangerous thing to do. You should've gone to bed and slept. No matter what Fugaku-san told you.”

Shisui slowly stood up next to Naruto, head pulsing painfully to remind him that he was in need of more then a few hours of sleep on the ground. “How did we get here and why did you bring me here?”

“There are ways to get grown ninja into places while they're passed out.” Naruto shrugged. “It was also the closest safe spot I could think of.”

Shisui blinked owlishly, “Forest of Death” and “safe spot” did not belong in the same context unless “not” was placed alongside with them. Shisui was going to press for some answers when Naruto stiffened and looked off into the forest. He glanced at the swaying shinobi and back into the forest.

“Naru-” Shisui began, but was cut off by a small hand covering his mouth.

“You're not stable enough for a safe shunshin, you'll be fine. I'll be fine and was never here,” Naruto hissed in his ear before disappearing into the shadows of the gloomy and dark forest.

“W-wait, it's not safe for a child,” Shisui called out to Naruto and stumbled before faceplanting. “I really have sold my soul to a devil child.”

“Now why on this lousy earth would you do something like that?” A feminine voice asked high above him.

Shisui's head whipped upward to see a vaguely familiar kunoichi. She was a bit older than he was, with light purple hair. She held herself in a way that demanded respect while being equally relaxed. When she shifted her position on the low branch, he could see her muscles move smoothly; conveying to even an unskilled civilian she was physically powerful. Her eyes shone with determination and inner turmoil, not uncommon in ninja. All in all, Shisui thought she was one “strong, powerful, and hot kunoichi...”

The kunoichi raised an eyebrow. “And you're an exhausted and weak shinobi.”

“Oi!” Shisui cried out indignantly. “I have you know, Kunoichi-san, that I am _not_ weak.”

“Says the boy collapsed in the mud,” she replied, lips slanting in amusement. “If not weakness, then idiocy is your problem. Few are stupid enough to fall asleep in the mud in the middle of one of the most dangerous training grounds.”

Shisui stiffly got up, trying to protect what was left of his dignity. But alas! It was all for naught.

The young kunoichi rolled her eyes and muttered, “men and their egos.”

Shisui straitened his back and probably would've looked like the formidable man he was if it weren't for the mud clinging to his cloths, blood shot eyes and slight sway in his stance.

Sighing, she jumped down beside him. “You look like the walking dead. What did you do? Move the Hokage Monument by brute strength alone?”

“Mission,” he replied, glancing around warily. He wasn't very comfortable in training ground forty four and questioned the sanity of the people who came here willingly (such as the woman in front of him and the happy little blond).

“You'd have to be an even bigger moron then I originally thought, going training after a hard mission is stupidity at its finest.” She smiled patronizingly. “Can't say I've seen your face around here. You come here often?”

“No,” Shisui said and glanced at her. “What's your name?”

A brief look of surprise flashed across her face before she smirked. “It's rude to ask for a name when you haven't given your own.”

“My name's Shisui, and your's milady?”

“Charming. But I am not obligated to tell you my name.” She smiled sweetly.

Shisui frowned, sneaky kunoichi.

She snickered. “Go home, get some sleep, grow a brain.”

“Why I-”

“Later Shisui-kun.” She winked and disappeared.

Shisui blushed and looked down at his mud caked feet. “Women...”

…

Uzumaki Naruto: 6th Year of the 7th Timeline, 21st Day of the 9th Month

Naruto secured the last floor to ceiling shelf in place; the entire back wall was covered in open shelves waiting for books, files, and scrolls to fill them. Naruto planned on installing a rolling ladder to reach the higher shelves later. Really they were so high that he'd have to be a giant, a biju, or have whatever creepy body jutsu thing Orochimaru does with his neck to reach the top. Chakra clinging could destroy the poor papers or mess with their seals, so a rolling ladder was a must. Besides, rolling ladders were awesome.

Shisui was building a loft above the door for added floor space. About ten meters by four meters with spiral staircases to the right of the door.

Naruto turned to look at the Uchiha after he was done with the shelves. Raising an eyebrow at the starry eyed boy, he smiled and walked under the beams to where Shisui was perched. “Is Minion-kun thinking about a pretty lady friend?”

Shisui startled from his thoughts, it had only been a day since he was left behind in the Forest of Death and met that kunoichi.

“Ooh~ It is a girl.” Naruto's smile widened. Time to mess with his favorite minion. “Does she have long eyelashes that flutter like the wings of a butterfly when she looks at you, eyes dark as the night but twinkle with a million stars when she laughs, a petite frame, delicate pale skin that resembles moonlight, and silky black hair that looks like a river of liquid obsidian?”

Shisui paused what he and his clone were doing to look down at the blond. “Firstly, if the ninja career doesn't work out for you, become a poet or a romantic novelist. And second, how the heck do come up with mushy nonsense like that?

“Heard it all before.” Naruto pouted and then glowered at the floor like it offended his family. “You try coming out of editing _that_ book without crap like that floating around your head.”

Shisui looked down at the jinchuriki with curiosity.

“Well, what's this chick's name?” Naruto asked, bringing back the topic.

“...I don't know,” Shisui mumbled, drilling the last beam into place.

Naruto slapped his forehead. “Describe her, maybe I know her.”

Shisui gave him a skeptical look.

“I know more than you think,” the young (old) boy reminded him.

Shisui sighed and jumped down from where he was. “She has spiky lavender hair, tied up in an almost Nara style. She wears-”

“Wait!” Naruto butted in, hands held up to stop the Uchiha from continuing. “Did you meet her in the Forest of Death after I left?”

“Yes,” Shisui replied.

“Anko? Really?” Naruto asked, staring up at his dark haired minion. “You chose the Snake Mistress? Sure she can be real nice and strangely good at parenting skills, but _Anko_? Of all the people to crush on...”

“So her name is Anko.” Shisui hummed in thought, a light blush shading his cheekbones.

“Like a love sick puppy.” Naruto groaned. “You can like her all you want, but I doubt she'll reciprocate.”

“Why not?” Shisui asked, looking offended and hopped down to face the shrimp.

Naruto glanced at Shisui from the corner of his eye. He and Hinata had chosen Anko to be their kids' godmother. Kurenai was killed on a mission gone wrong. Anko wasn't the closest to Hinata's sensei, but they were pretty friendly, and she comforted Hinata similar to how a mother would when the news came Hinata's second mother died. By the time Hinata learned she was pregnant,both of the new parents agreed that Anko would be the godmother.

Anko might not have said anything at the time, but both could tell she was truly happy to be made an official member of the Namikaze-Uzumaki-Hyuuga's little family. She had friends but held them at arms length. Anko didn't marry in any of the past Timelines and never _truly_ dated...with the exception of that one date that ended up with a blown up fish stand. Naruto guessed her lonely tendencies stemmed from Orochimaru doing a number on her social life when he turned traitor.

“She has had a rough life, which I'm sure when you ever snoop into her files you'll find out yourself, but she doesn't let others get to close to her. Not easily that is. She's a hurt and lonely individual, puts on a brave front, but good at heart,” Naruto said.

Shisui twirled a bolt between his fingers before he said, “then I'll be a friend.”

Naruto smiled. “Good plan lad, just try not to get skewered by her dango sticks when you approach her in the streets. I only have one minion at the moment and I don't want to lose him because he was making goo goo eyes at a strong kunoichi.”

“What?” Shisui asked.

“Shisui-san,” Naruto said solemnly, placing a hand on the ANBU's forearm. “My tall and confused friend. Anko is one of the best ninja out there because no one watches her back. Surprise her and you'll be deader than your ancestors. Insult her competence and you'll be in for something worse than Ibiki's idea of torture. She also is sucker for sweet things like dango, so you'll 'accidentally' run into her about two and a half weeks from now at the dango shop during the Kyuubi festival.”

“Oh.” Shisui's eyes widened in realization, the kid had been dropping him tips. He decided that the boy was strangely insightful for six year old.

Naruto nodded. “Dress your best; but if you go all noble's silk and embroidered style on her, sorry, but you lost your chance.”

“Got it, are you going to the festival? You have a caretaker, correct?” Shisui asked, looking down at the little boy.

Naruto stilled and grinned up at Shisui. “Heh-heh, nah. Don't really want to go and Emiko is going to go with her _friend_.”

“Oh,” Shisui said, frowning. “Why don't you want to go to the festival?”

Naruto gave him a blank look that practically screamed that he thought Shisui was an idiot for not knowing. “I'm the jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox that pulverized this place six years ago. What do you think will happen if they see me walking around the festival?”

Shisui shrunk under his skin, he admittedly had forgotten that the happy go-lucky blond boy that had a super high maturity rate for his age was a jinchuriki.

“Sorry, I forgot,” Shisui apologized.

“You forgot,” Naruto slowly said, “Minion-kun, it's not good to forget potentially life threatening foes' existence. Maybe I should have Jiji get a Yamanaka give you a psyche evaluation.”

“You are not my foe, Naruto-kun,” Shisui said, looking down at the boy with a tinge of sadness.

Naruto sighed dramatically. “You know what I mean. Just because The Great and Terrible Fluff isn't seen, he's still present and likely to murder you if let lose upon the earth.”

“Fluff,” Shisui repeated incredulously.

“Yeah.” Naruto nodded. “He's big and fluffy, has a terrible temper, and a great amount of power. Hence, The Great and Terrible Fluff.”

“What on earth.” Shisui shook his head. Unable to grasp the conversation he found himself in, Shisui decided to change it. “So, do you have any plans for your birthday?”

“Hm.” Naruto tapped his chin in thought. “I'm planning on working on the secret hideout, maybe finish the loft now that there's stairs. Make railings, get some furnishing for the lower level and upper levels. Add a ladder to the bookcases. Get some rugs too, very important. Draw up some additional plans for the side rooms, things to do, things to do.”

“I meant for you birthday, Naruto-kun,” Shisui said.

Naruto nodded. “And I told you my plan.”

Shisui frowned. “That's sad, no birthday party, cake, presents, nothing?”

Naruto tilted his head in thought. “I think Jiji might send me something, like a blanket or something. Maybe that ANBU guy will too, he gave me a sleeping hat last time. Emiko, my caretaker, and Nobuo, a new jounin that Emiko likes, are short on money and are making a cake for the 9th since I didn't want it on the 10th. I convinced them to go to the festival without me on my actual birthday and will 'celebrate' tomorrow. Emiko understands, but Nobuo was a real pain to convince. Stubborn shinobi.”

“I see,” Shisui said, he didn't know what to say. “Is there anything you want?”

Naruto narrowed his eyes in thought, “well my hotplate has some open wires, so wire tape would be nice. You know, the hard plastic rubber stuff that's all sticky on one side?”

“That's not a birthday present, that's something you need in fear of something becoming a safety hazard,” Shisui said, “don't you want anything?”

“Peace?” Naruto offered. “A world that won't destroy itself?”

“You're pretty bent on thinking the world is going to be destroyed,” Shisui said.

“Hm, not destroyed, per se, just the people in it if we don't do anything,” Naruto said.

“Right, but what do you want? Materialistic things?” Shisui said,trying to get an answer he could pull off and wasn't super boring.

Naruto stared at Shisui for a moment. “I find that one will have a happier life when you are content with what you have, you can't really take anything with you to the afterlife.”

“You're a strange kid. What kid doesn't want action figures, play kunai, manga, toys, and ridiculously over priced items?” Shisui asked, then paused, “I didn't know you believed in an afterlife.”

Naruto shrugged. “There is such a thing as spirits, no?”

“I think so, but others don't,” Shisui replied neutrally.

“Hm, that is true. But where do you think spirits go? This is the realm of the physical,” Naruto said motioning around him.

“I suppose they could float around or something,” Shisui said, if there was one thing that you usually didn't talk to people about. It was religion, politics, and the debate on whether cats or dogs were better. It was _so_ cats.

“I'm inclined to believe there is an afterlife, Minion-kun,” Naruto said, “it has been something that I've believed for a while. I hope to see my parents one day...and maybe it's just that hope. But I think I've seen a glimpse of the Otherside and I've seen things that can only be explained by spiritual means...though there will always be doubters.”

Shisui was silent for a little while. “That escalated quickly. But, uh, surely I can get you something for your birthday.”

“Oh, ah, a few maps of the continent would be nice. Political borders, geography, things like that would be fine,” Naruto said, coughing into his sleeve. “Anyway, you have tomorrow and the day after tomorrow off as a Village holiday. See you on the eleventh, Minion-kun.”

Naruto walked out of the soon to be base of his future organization and was no sooner home when Emiko asked, “Did you have fun with your new friend?”

“Yup, our fort looks awesome,” Naruto chirped.

Emiko smiled. “I'll have to meet him someday.”

“Okay,” Naruto agreed, “what are we making for dinner?”

“Come up here and I'll show you,” Emiko said, pointing to a stool.

Around the same time Shisui was heating up leftovers when Itachi dropped by.

Shisui smiled at his younger cousin. “Is there something you need, Itachi-kun?”

Itachi's blinked before offering a small smile. “Kaa-san wants me to ask you over for dinner.”

“Sure, I'll be over in a moment,” Shisui said, putting the leftovers back in the fridge. “What have you been up to?”

“Regular duties,” Itachi replied, “I haven't seen you around.”

Shisui closed the fridge, remembering his orders to follow Itachi. Orders that he had been neglecting. Oops. “I'm taking a special mission from the Hokage.”

“Oh?” Itachi moved to leave the kitchen with Shisui.

“Glorified babysitting,” Shisui expanded.

Itachi raised an eyebrow and didn't comment, both walked to dinner in silence.

…

Later that day, Fugaku sat with his family at the table. Normally an Uchiha family dinner would consist of proper body posture, formal eating discipline, and quiet talk between the members (with the exception of Shisui). However, this time, it was not a normal Uchiha family dinner.

Poor Uchiha Fugaku was still recovering from his ordeal over lunch with the resident Jinchuriki. That is, if recovering meant trying to burn the horrific event from his mind. It was horrifying enough for his sharingan to activate and successfully etch the image of a monstrous little boy eating.

Mikoto noticed her husband’s fidgeting, food poking, and twitching hands.

Shisui noticed his uncle's shuffling feet that indicated unease.

Itachi noticed his father’s far away gaze that spoke of unimaginable horrors and troubles.

Sasuke didn’t notice anything. He wasn’t a ninja yet.

After a long silence Fugaku imparted his words of wisdom unto his family. “If a blond ever asks you to buy him ramen. Refuse. Then tactfully retreat as quickly as possible without seeming rushed. If he follows you, turn a corner and disappear like the wind.”

Mikoto was concerned and decided to talk with him later.

Shisui was wondering what Naruto did to create that reaction.

Itachi was mildly confused as to what could’ve agitated his father so.

Sasuke committed his father’s wisdom to memory. It was rare for his father gave advice; and if he did, it was usually one on one. So if he shared it with the entire family, it must’ve been vital information.

As Mikoto fell asleep that night, she could’ve sworn she heard her husband whimper, “I hate ramen.

By morning it was as if the whole thing never happened. When later asked about the gaping hole in Fugaku’s wallet, Fugaku was equally confused and replied, “I don’t know where my money is.”

…

Omake

(Files)

It took a while, but let it not be said that Uchiha Shisui lacks determination. After hours of asking and searching and reading, he finally found it.

Mitarashi Anko's file.

He was lucky to have clearance to read it. Who knew that her file would be so guarded?

Well...it made sense...

After all, with her sensei being Orochimaru of the Sannin, security was bound to be a little tight around her. The whole incident with Orochimaru was a mess, he heard. Experimentation. Ew. Not the weirdest thing he's heard of, but the point stands.

Shisui's hands clenched. But Anko was taught by the creepy sannin. So that could only mean one thing.

“She must be awesome to spar with!”

“Shhh!” The librarian glared at him.

“Sorry,” whispered Shisui, smiling sheepishly.

 


End file.
